Why does online dating make us think there's someone better out there?
2 Expert Ways To Keep FOMO From RUINING Your Dating Success
Are you constantly waiting for the perfect partner to come along and sweep you off your feet? You keep going on dates and meeting with great people, but they're just not great enough.
Little do you know, every time you turn down one of those potential partners, you're losing an opportunity to share your life with someone great.
In the video above, professional matchmaker and host Paul Carrick Brunson, certified matchmaker, dating coach and founder and CEO of New York Socials Marina Margulis, certified matchmaker, dating coach and founder of AVConnexions, LLC Arlene Vasquez and matchmaker and dating coach Peggy Wolman say that tons of single people commit this dating crime. The culprit? Online dating.
Online dating enables you to look at many different potential suitors in a matter of seconds, so you just keep swiping through profile after profile. The problem is, according to the experts, you're searching for the ideal — a fantasy you'll NEVER find. You're simply wasting your time.
Here's are two things they say will bring you back to reality:
1. Figure our your priorities
What is it that you honestly need in a partner? Are there certain personality traits and beliefs that your partner must have to suit your lifestyle needs? Consider this before choosing someone based on aspects that aren't necessarily that important to worry about (like physical appearance). If you can see that this person fits into your lifestyle, he/she might be the perfect match.
2. Ask yourself: "Can I picture this person in my future?"
Think of hobbies that you like doing, places you like to go to, places you'd like go, etc.. Can you imagine this person doing these things alongside you? If you can, then he/she is a keeper!
Peggy Wolman explains, "We tell clients all time it isn't about a person that you are envisioning. It's about an experience. Are you reading the New York Times in bed on a Sunday morning? Are you out on a canoe in the middle of the rapids somewhere? Are you on the top of Kilimanjaro? Are you being served breakfast at Tiffany's? What's your picture of how you're going to be spending this time together?"
Want more dating advice? Please visit https://www.nysocials.com/dating-coaching.
I did not invent Matchmaking, I perfected it.
9 年I really enjoyed the discussion, Marina, and I also find this to be an issue with my clients. They often ask me to send more than one match at a time so they can "choose" the one they want to meet. I insist that each match be reviewed for his/her own qualities, not in comparison to others, so this is not an option. I definitely agree with you that this mentality has come out of the online dating atmosphere of "next, next, next...", and it's not conducive to ever forming a long-lasting relationship. Thanks for a great discussion!