Why Does This Keep Happening To Me

So why does this keep happening to me over and over and over again?

Have you said the same thing? I’m sure you have. So many of us do, and we’re always looking for an answer outside of ourselves. Like why is the universe doing this to me? Why do I attract the same kind of people? Why does this scenario keep happening in my business dealings? Why are things always stalled? Or something like that. And we keep asking that question and the answer is it’s because you are making it that way. Even though you don’t want to be there, we create these patterns that happen over and over. And so subconsciously we start doing the same things to make those things happen again and again, even if we don’t want them to.

So what I’ve found is that in order to stop something from happening over and over and over again, we not only just have to do something different, we have to start our mindset in a different direction because the mindset creates the self-talk, which creates the patterns, which creates the behavior that makes the things happen. So until we start actually visualizing a different outcome or the outcome that you actually want, you’re going to keep repeating the same thing over and over and over. And this is scientifically backed.

That habits are habits because when our brain does something over and over and over, it creates a groove in the brain. And so when something comes up for us to do, it’s like water flowing down a path. It’s going to go into that groove that is well-formed. A new habit doesn’t have a well-formed groove. So when the water is going where to flow, it’s not going to go to that new habit as easily. It’s going to go to the old one that has that deep groove that’s just going and going. So in order to make something new happen, we have to visualize it. What is the outcome you actually want, as opposed to talking about the outcome you don’t want over and over and over and sharing that story a thousand times?

Let me tell you what happened this time. Let me tell you what he said this time. Let me tell you what my business partner did this. Let me tell you again. And so every time you repeat that story, your brain is creating going down that same groove and creating it easier for it to happen again. But if you start talking about what you want and stop focusing on what you don’t want and only visualize those things that this has happened before, let’s say it’s happened in a very unpleasant way. Have you taken the time to visualize the outcome as you would like to have it? That is what you should do multiple times think about that. And you should feel good when you’re doing it because the more emotion and the better you feel, the deeper that new groove for that new habit is formed.

And so now when the water is flowing, you’ve deactivated the old groove so it’s not as deep anymore. And the new groove, it’s getting deeper and deeper every time you tell the story of the new outcome that you want. Every time you celebrate the new wins that you’ve had, that new group forums, and then the habit goes that way. And then you naturally start generating the things that you want. Just like you say, why does this all happen to me? You’ll start seeing every time I do this, I win. Every time I put effort into this, it goes well. As simple as every time I’m downtown, I find a parking space, which I do. So because I believe it. So when you create this scenario, it’s bound to happen.

The same person can get to the same office building downtown and never find parking. And I’m like, “I found parking in five minutes.” All the time, because that’s my belief. That very simple example but that’s how it works because I have that groove created that this is going to happen for me. So stop talking about what you don’t want and create a new scenario of the fabulous thing that you want to happen. If there’s something that’s been happening over and over, reframe it. And think about that. Dream about that. Talk about it, write about it and watch it happen. That’s the ultimate way of changing a habit every day, step by step by step.

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