Why Does There Have to be an Ulterior Motive?

I’ve been on LinkedIn for a few years now – maybe around 4. It wasn’t up until the last year or two, however, that I started using it (close) to its full potential. I remember when I first signed up – I was confused and rolled my eyes. “This is too complicated” I complained, and did not log in again for months. Anyway, this isn’t about my initial dislike for LinkedIn.

Eventually, I started logging on regularly and began to learn about the importance of relationships – not just starting them, but maintaining them. I am still early in my career, so expanding my network and meeting new people is exciting to me.

Maybe I was being naive, but when I started getting messages on LinkedIn from professionals who seemed interested in connecting and getting to know one another, I was thrilled. I thought – “Oh, wow… they want to know more about ME? Little ol' me?” It’s nice to see when people take an interest in you, even to this day I get excited about this.

Unfortunately, I feel that many people often use this as bait. One moment you’re having a conversation, then they want to sell you that “life-changing” product or offer you a “free” online class or want you to purchase their new book. I get it – people on LinkedIn use this medium to recruit, leverage sales, etc. I’ll be first to admit, I’ve reached out as a Recruiter to people I thought could be great candidates – to my defense, I was upfront about my reason for reaching out from the start. While I understand these things will happen, I can’t help but feel disappointed when they throw me the sales pitch. Was this not a genuine conversation we were having? It’s easy to feel like they were just being “nice” in the hopes of getting a sale. Why is there an ulterior motive? Why can’t we simply form connections and relationships and that be it?

It’s not always evident from the get-go that these folks have an ulterior motive. I’ve observed different “LinkedIn personality types”, if you will. Recognizing these might help you figure out whether you should be connecting with certain people or not.

1)     The Scammers. They will do anything to make a quick buck, ethical or not. I (thankfully) have not encountered this, but have heard stories! I try to stay away from sketchy profiles – no pictures, employment information, etc. Scammers are usually vague with information.

2)     The Sales Person. I will say I respect this person because they are typically blunt and straight-forward. They reach out and immediately tell you why you should: hear about their product, business, etc. They aren’t reaching out to you and trying to make conversation. They are trying to sell from the start. Those you can quickly decipher on. Whether you remain connected to this person or not is up to you.

3)     The Open Networkers. While I can absolutely respect LION’s, you can’t possibly tell me you maintain solid, genuine relationships with your connections if you are connecting with anyone and everyone. I mean really, do you speak with ALL 30,000+ connections? I can’t wrap my mind around that. It sounds exhausting. And almost impossible.

4)     The Deceptor. This one is tricky. They will actually make you think they just want to connect and build a relationship. This is someone you will speak to, meet with and spend months (maybe even years) networking with. You may even come to consider this person a good friend. Then one day, it comes to the surface that this was simply a fa?ade. A way to get you to trust in this person, so that they can use you for something. This is by far, the most disappointing one.

5)     The Unicorns. My favorite. This type of individual looks to connect to people who they believe can be of value if added to their network. It could be someone in the same role or industry. They seek meaningful relationships. There will be mutual support and benefit – engaging in each other’s posts and learning from one another. Yes, there could be an instance in the future for you and this connection to discuss business, but that is not the primary intention of your interactions.

I have somewhat of a wall up when people reach out to me. I am skeptical of their intentions. I love connecting and speaking with people, but I find myself asking: “What’s their motive? They must be trying to sell me something”. I’m working on this mindset, because at the end of the day I DO enjoy talking to people and I don’t want that to change. I think it’s a matter of how we handle these “pitches”, recognizing what “personality” they are and letting people know the reason why YOU are on LinkedIn – are you both connecting with the same intentions and motives?

- Jen