Why Does An Addict Start Abusing Alcohol and/or Drugs Again?

To pick up again, relapse, “slip’...all terms associated with an addict picking up and using their drug of choice, again. For the addict, there might be a million excuses. But, there are no good reasons. Except, perhaps, one. The addict has failed to seriously believe that he or she is powerless over their drug of choice; that they are not able to use in safety.?

Some people believe that an addict plans a relapse long before he or she picks up a drink or a drug. I’m convinced this is true. I believe this “planning” takes place at some level long before the actual abuse. However, let’s now forget that addicts are clever and are quite capable of hiding this urge for weeks or months.

Being egotistical, arrogant, and selfish renders addicts incapable of really appreciating the misery they’ve caused in the lives of family, loved ones, employers, and friends. I like to refer to it as an “endless loop of misery” that can be broken by one startling emotion and a small set of decisions.

That emotion is “desperation”, an intense state that can make someone feel overwhelmed, alone, and disconnected from others.?

The decisions?

• First, to surrender, to stop fighting, hiding, and resisting because you finally realize you can not win.
• Second, acknowledge your addiction and accept its consequences.
• Third, acknowledging that your current life is a shambles and the very few people in your life who really care about you are challenged and could be desperate as well.

This is the first Step in a 12 Step Program. ‘I am powerless over (drug of choice, behavior) and my life has become unmanageable’.?

Without recognizing, admitting, and accepting this first step fully, it is very likely that the addict will relapse. Because, as the AA founders came to realize, “There is the obsession that somehow, someday, they will beat the game.” (AA Big Book, Page 23)

AA defines powerlessness as “a feeling of being unable to control one's life because of alcohol abuse. It includes feelings of hopelessness, guilt, shame, worthlessness, and fear.” This definition is similar to the way many therapists talk about this issue.

Admitting powerlessness means admitting that no amount of trying, practicing, or self-control is going to change the way that drugs or alcohol affect your brain, thus this is the first step in a lifelong journey of recovery. When you are 2, 10, or 20 years sober, you are still going to be powerless over alcohol.

This is not a weakness. This is a strength that emerges from the desperate situation of not being able to drink or drug in safety. It emerges from the recognition and acceptance that everything around me is in turmoil and I can’t control it, no matter how hard I’ve tried. Once I’ve admitted I am powerless over my drug of choice, I begin to build the power to change my life for the better.

Failing to “take” this first Step may lead to a life of misery for the addict and the addict’s loved ones. Failing to take this first Step can also lead to death.