Why do you do what you do?

When we learn by rote, we act the same way…

When we meet people professionally, the most common opening questions are the duo of:

• Where do you work?
• What do you do there?

Pavlov would be proud of the way we exhibit conditioned response behavior. Imagine the following conversation between two people:

• Person 1: Hi, how are you?
• Person 2: I’m fine. How are you?
• Person 1: I’m fine, too. It’s nice to see you again
• Person 2: It’s nice to see you, too.
• Person 1: Have a nice day.
• Person 2: You, too.
• Person 1: Bye.
• Person 2: Bye.

However…

How many times have you had a conversation like this? When you see someone you know in a store and do more than smile and wave, it’s likely to be a conversation similar to the one above. I like to rattle Pavlov’s cage a bit and I do so not to be antagonistic, but to try to engage people a bit. I’m just as likely to have the following conversation when I see someone, regardless whether I know them (and more frequently when I do not):

• Me: Hello. How are you?
• Person 2: I’m fine. How are you?
• Me: I can’t complain, nobody listens.
• Person 2: …

Talk about a reset moment! I’ve had some great reactions to that, usually from folks I don’t know (they don't expect it). The funniest ones are from people who are running through the script and not paying attention. Some actually ask me to repeat myself and I can’t help but chuckle. The best responses, though, are from people who run with it. “Boy, ain’t that right!,” “You must know my ex,” or a plethora of other responses can bring a smile to both our faces. The laughter when people realize that I’m willing to break out of the norm and engage with them is as fantastic as it is contagious. If you want to know if someone practices active listening, try opening a conversation with that exchange.

When I meet people professionally, I often like to shake things up a bit with the following alternative to the questions posed at the beginning of this article:

• What do you do?
• Why do you do it?

The first question sets the stage for the second, which I believe is the most important. I’ve gotten some amazing answers, and almost always after a shocked/puzzled look while people try to figure out the answer. The answers that I like the best are along the lines of “I don’t know” or “I just do it because they hired me.” I didn’t say they were the “best” answers, I said that I like them best. Why? Because they’re honest and they set the stage for future growth and development. I had an amazing follow-on conversation at a neighbor’s birthday party where those questions turned into an opportunity for me to coach one of his friends who was unhappy in his job and couldn’t break out of his funk. There’s a lot of power in engaging with people and, at the risk of playing buzzword bingo, the synergy of excitement and enthusiasm can be its own reward.

Why do I do what I do?

I love helping others and the greatest compliment I’ve ever received was when I was being introduced to a direct report’s personal friend. I expected him to introduce me as his boss/manager/supervisor or with my title but he introduced me as his mentor. I was floored, humbled, and so very appreciative. I feel all of those emotions all over again as I sit here writing about the experience.

When I was working my way through my MBA program, we were studying organizations’ visions and missions and their importance in defining strategic goals. They establish a way of prioritizing work and ensuring that the “right” work is being done. I’ve always cautioned students and junior employees to never take a promotion for the money; it should always be because it’s the right move for them. I’ve seen people take promotions because, hey, it’s what you’re supposed to do. They all too often end up unhappy or poor performers. It’s not because they did something wrong, they just didn’t have a good understanding of what they should do or why.

I decided to write my own personal vision and mission and to use those to help me with big decisions in my life. I’d like to share them with you here.

• Vision: Inspire others and help them develop in order to bring positive change to more people’s lives
• Mission: Through active listening and coaching, help others find greater value within themselves so they can help more people in return

I have these written on a 3x5” note card tucked under the edge of my monitor stand to remind me why I'm here. I don’t have a canned signature at work. Instead, I type the same simple phrase at the end of every email in order to continually reinforce a way of living and approaching what I do. You’ll see it at the end of this article, too. It's important to me that my actions align with my words, and that I’m doing the right things for the right reasons.

So I ask you…

I’ll close by asking you two very simple questions, and ask that you take a moment to consider and answer them honestly:

• What do you do?
• Why do you do it?

If you feel so inclined, you’re more than welcome to share your answers with the community. There is absolutely no obligation but if you’d like to share, I’d love to listen. Regardless, I wish you the very best as you consider your answers and what to do with them.

Live well, laugh often, and do great things for others every day –

Joe.