Why do we work so hard...

On my rides to and from work I often spend a fair bit of time pondering life and why we do the things we do. I'm a thinker by nature, constantly trying to find the "why" or purpose to things. I invest massive amounts of time breaking down problems to their core to reveal a level of truth, then construct the issue back to understand how it became so. This brings me clarity and knowledge. Some would see this as exhausting and fruitless; to me it's free and fun.

The ferocity by which we approach work was not my initial thought in this piece. It came to me by way of @LauraMarks. I connected with her and she asked me a few questions about work. As I am going through my own career change, my brain went into overdrive divulging analysis akin to a volcanic eruption. After reading my response I thought others may be intrigued, and well sharing is caring.

The question is why we do we struggle with career engagement, fulfillment, and progression? What career mentalities give people the most pain and what can be done about it. Why do we work so hard??

In addressing this I realized first that we have a perplexing preoccupation in what people do. According to a 2017 Gallup poll, 85% of people are not engaged in their preferred occupations and are unhappy with it; in other words, people hate their jobs. However, when introducing friends or making small talk with others we want to know, "What do you do?" We do not get to know them and ask about the last trip they took, book they read, TV shows they are interested in or anything that interests them. We want to know what pays their bills. Let's immediately delve into something most of us hate, work.

I noticed this recently when watching an episode of "The Bachelorette" (not my choice). Underneath each suitor was a short blurb. Jeff, 26, Sales associate.

This brought me to think. Why is this added? What purpose does it serve? The only purpose I found was to quantify people. As soon as their occupation is depicted we judge based on their occupation. Contractor, doctor, account executive, unemployed, then without any other context we associate characteristics with those occupations with the person. Subconsciously our brains say "Oh contractor, he must be good with his hands" or "Unemployed!? He's 28, he lacks ambition and probably still lives in his mom's basement". While unfair, it happens in everyday life far more often than we realize.

So why the bias? Quite simply, we as Americans, have an unhealthy view of happiness. Conventional culture has instilled the notion that in order to be happy you must "have everything figured out". This implies you must earn massive amounts of money, be in good health, have a family with children, and have hobbies to make you well rounded. These 4 boxes of one's life must be checked by age 55-65, you retire and then BANG! you are happy. Go ride off into the sunset and enjoy the golden years. If one of these boxes is unfulfilled you are subconsciously seen as unsuccessful, incomplete, or lacking (not in actuality) but by societal standards. This mindset leads people to relentlessly pursue their career at an unreasonable pace because money can effectively buy the other boxes of happiness. If you have money you can coerce a sugar baby to marry you and have a few children, buy quality healthcare, and engage in the fun hobbies, you know yachting to St. Tropez etc. These reasons are why many idolize celebrities. Celebrities and professional athletes are presumed to have hacked the code so to speak. Based on their talents, they have manipulated the system to make gobs of money and are therefore perceived as happy. Perceiving them in such a manner makes their issues (drugs, troubles with the law, marital problems etc.) seem more befuddling than when it happens to the "average" person. Sadly and inevitably, this causes peoples' self worth being tied to their occupation as it is a social barometer of the "I am happy now" timeline.

Now you may have some varying thoughts of "Whoa that's aggressive thinking, where did that come from?" Funny you should ask as I've pondered this as well. In short, the creation of America. Since the very beginning, people were forced to have a conservative mindset. Cold winters, unstable food sources, fear of diseases, and unknown terrain naturally will cause conservatism.

World wars, and depressions have conditioned generations to conserve and protect out of fear of survival. This is exactly how we get sayings like "Save it for a rainy day" or tales like the 3 little pigs. These were created to steer children and young adults away from fears and dangers, and toward hard work. If you are curious, the link below is an article on the first days and the struggle colonists endured.

Changing our relationship to work is the next challenge. Luckily the majority of us no longer have to worry about where our next meal is coming from or finding heat in the winter, allowing us time to swing the dilemma in our favor. The easy answer that you have heard is to be true to ones self, follow your gut, act with conviction and everything will work out. Often times that is easier said than done, and is a very high level, superficial, and anti-corporate ra-ra cheer speech. You need something tangible that you can do today, that's not complicated so you can stick with it. In thinking this through there are two things that you can start doing today to change this for yourself and others.

1. Admit your failures in the face of others. This is the leader of the two points. Acknowledging your failure humanizes you to others and shows that you make mistakes and learn from them. Effectively showing others you don't have it all figured out but on a much smaller scale than the "I am happy now" scale. Doing this will show self awareness and allow others to be more vulnerable and in turn forgiving. That forgiveness will break them free of their judgement and expectations of having to have it all figured out. Allowing for more flexibility and freedom to try it themselves. That leads me to...
2. Use that new found flexibility to try different small tasks to find work that you are truly passionate about. Doing so will light you up in ways that money would never be able to. Test out writing, volunteering, cooking, archery, gardening whatever it is that brings you joy. Once you have found that thing(s) then figure out how to monetize it. Create tutorials/content for Youtube, sell your creations, win prize money in competitions, start a charity. At that point finding a way to make money won't feel like "work" anymore.

These two things will do wonders for your inner self. Over time you will find out how much fun you will have trying and figuring things out along the way. Practicing these two tasks, will begin to swing our relationships with work from quantity and fervor to emphasizing the authenticity and impact. The other 3 boxes will check themselves after that. Your health will be better because your work/life is more in harmony, your family will enjoy a more present and happier you and your hobbies will be even better because you get to do them all the time. Try it, the only thing you have to lose is years on your "I am happy now" timeline.