Why do we only focus on the "Crooked Tiles" and the uneven grout lines??

Recently, I purchased a unit in Western Australia (it may be called a condominium or an apartment depending on where you are from). The bottom line is that it is a place to live and it is in a very desirable location. It has a magnificent view of the CBD of Perth, Australia…

BUT, because it is an older complex, it also has a “lot of opportunity” for being updated and ‘fixed up’ to make it look much more contemporary and allow it to fit in to the 21st century without having to justify the year it was constructed as the reason for the place looking ' so retro’ and outdated. (Even though I know that there are some very groovy looking retro living quarters that are actually really popular at present, BUT...those places tend to be created deliberately out of choice and not merely from a lack of updates over the course of 30 years!!).

I will state up front that I am not particularly skilled as a tradesperson…(YET!!)

But I will get there if it kills me. I like challenges and being "handy" is certainly one of those challenges.

Anyone that knows me will appreciate that if (and when) I put my mind and focus in to doing something, I will generally figure out a way to complete it and learn how to do it -- despite it being very far removed from my comfort zone and natural skills, abilities or intellect. Of course, it may not be a world class outcome, but I will figure it out or die trying… (This is probably most evident in the fact that I managed to obtain a PhD!! Some of my childhood friends still shake their heads in disbelief! And don’t worry, so do I if I am completely honest…but that is another musing to write about on another occasion).

So, where is this going you ask? (Assuming you have not stopped reading already…). Well, I tackled a tiling and grouting job in my bathroom and shower area because the tiles that were in existence were old, cracked and ugly (which sounds like how I would also describe the heels of my feet btw…), and the old grout was disgustingly dirty and crumbling with large gaps (aka holes) quite apparent throughout the floor area-- both in front of the sink basin as well as the area within the glassed-in shower area.

Without going in to the horrendous details of my “project” -- I can definitively say that the hours of time I invested and the screw ups I made probably would have justified the investment of having a “professional/expert tiling and grout person” come and do the job in the course of a weekend.

I acknowledge this and will humbly admit that it is a true statement.

Furthermore, I am a perfectionist (well, in some things)... and there were about three tiles and a few grout lines that just did not look as good as they could.

So, admittedly, I have been a bit disappointed by the outcome and I have even thought that I may re-do the entire project next year when I can create some time in my schedule. But I figured that I am the only person that has to ‘tolerate’ this relatively private area of my living quarters, therefore it will suffice for now.

So, when friends came over to my place over the past month or so, I have avoided showing them my bathroom / shower area and even put some self-adhesive window decals on the glass shower walls to help distract attention away from those “horrible three tiles and corresponding uneven grout lines” that I felt so disappointed by.

A few days ago, some neighbours from the complex stopped in (who were very aware of the condition of the place when I first moved in); so they were walking around with very scrutinizing eyes looking at EVERY single space in every single room.

UH OH!!-- My dodgy craftsmanship was about to be exposed!

Well, they came in to the bathroom and shower area and gasped...in amazement!!

They were not just being “kind” or “sympathetic” or “generous” with their comments either. They were genuinely flabbergasted by the complete transformation that the disgusting, dirty bathroom had made towards now being a shiny, clean, newly tiled, good hygiene area with WHITE grout!

Of course, I could not resist my desire to highlight the disappointment I had with the three tiles and the bits of uneven grouting.

It was at that point that something was said to me that hit me like a brick in the head.

“Are you bloody serious, Troy!!!??” … “You have transformed this bathroom and probably installed 350 tiles with amazing precision and yet you are going to focus on three tiles that we would not even have noticed if you had not pointed them out!?” They proceeded to tell me that the place looked 200 percent better than it did previously and they were absolutely astounded by the change in appearance. They assured me that this project alone would increase the value of my place at the point of time that I decide to sell it. This was actually really nice to hear and it was very humbling, yet reassuring.

Now…I am not telling you this to try to convince you that I did an awesome job and that you should congratulate me on my craftsmanship or tiling and grouting skills.

Because the truth is-- I DID NOT do an awesome job!! (and I also have a COMPLETE respect for anyone who does this as a profession...it is tedious and difficult work!!).

I am still very aware of the faults that exist and they will not go away just by not thinking about them. HOWEVER, I do think this experience is a metaphor for how we often operate as humans on a day to day basis.

We will put hours and hours of work in to achieving something and then spend an inordinate amount of time trying to camoflauge the minor flaws of imperfection rather than celebrate the progress and advancement that has been made.

I won’t take any more of your time or insult your intelligence by pontificating further in order to connect the dots and bring this little life lesson home to you in a meaningful way. I think you are probably picking up what I’m laying down. (BTW---No pun intended regarding this being a tile and grout story.)

However, all I WILL SAY in conclusion is this…

Where is YOUR focus?

Are you beating yourself up over those few slightly crooked tiles and uneven grout lines in your life?

We each have a lot to be grateful for and proud of, but I think it is all too common that we tend to focus on what we did not do well rather than what we actually did achieve in the process.

REMEMBER:

Our mind is a garden and our thoughts are the seeds…

You can grow flowers or you can grow weeds!

Keep making progress and don’t be afraid to celebrate the positives!!

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I'd love to hear your comments if this little reflection resonates with you.

Are there instances in your life that you tend to focus on the wrong things? Why do you think this is and what are the implications of doing this? What are your strategies for changing?

Hmmmm....