Why do we love melodrama? ….IS the 2ND Wave melodramatic?.....part 152

They get involved like a patronizing uncle with anyone who shrieks and shouts, who gets hysterically aggressive, and who modulates like a theatre artist and pauses like a philosopher before shedding a tear.

We have been fed inspirational speeches and now we thrive on sensational war of words which takes us nowhere.

Is it possible for us to prioritize issues which need urgent attention, less urgent attention and negligible attention so that media cannot create a new sensation everyday resulting in a collective daily amnesia?

We are so eager to speak and talk all the time. Some speak on podiums while others get busy talking about what they spoke from their microphones.

Everyone wants to convey something. No one has willingness to listen. We feel relieved after making a point, no matter how irrelevant.

Execution or action to make a difference is overpowered by a wish to speak. Have we started to believe that oratory skills are a panacea for all our troubles? Have we started to believe that melodramatics public speaking will help us escape into a mindset which makes us believe that we are doing our duty by making these speeches viral?

Clicking, sharing, commenting in all online and offline modes are the only action buttons that we want to press.

Will one speech a day keep the problems away?

Or should we sing…

Speech, speech, go away.

Entertainment is not needed every day.

To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself. 

Leo Durocher once remarked: “Nice guys finish last.” Do nice people really finish last?

Sometimes. It depends on the type of "nice" one exudes. Some nice people command appreciation and respect, while others are used and abused. If you consider yourself a "nice" person, which type are you?

Self-assessment quiz:

Do you have a hard time saying “no” to others’ requests, even when they’re unreasonable?

Do you often find yourself under-appreciated and taken for granted?

Do you believe you’re being taken advantage of at work or in your personal relationships?

Do you let people give you thankless tasks they don’t want to do themselves?

Do you often go along with what others say and want, even if you feel differently deep down?

Do your kindness and self-giving often go unreciprocated?

Are you afraid of being rejected if you don’t go along with certain people’s whims and demands?

Do you take care of others first and yourself last?

If you answered “yes” to any of the questions above, you could be too nice, at least in certain areas of your life.

To be sure, there’s nothing inherently wrong with being nice. The world is a better place with more kind hearted and generous people. At the same time, it’s important to be nice in a way that’s healthy for everyone involved (especially you), so that you’re not consistently holding the short end of the stick.

Disclaimer: The information on this POST is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional advice. The opinions expressed within this article are the personal opinions of the author. All content, including text, graphics, images and information, contained on or available through this article is for general information purposes / educational purposes only, and to ensure discussion or debate. 

Thank you …Change Your Attitude About Having To Be Nice All The Time

There’s a big difference between being nice because you want to, versus being nice because you have to. The first comes from your heart, while the second feels like a burden. “Nice” people often associate not doing something for someone with erroneous negative thoughts and emotions. For example:

Negative Thought #1: “I’m selfish if don’t help my friends all the time. “

Negative Emotion #2: Guilt

Negative Thought #3: “She won’t like me if I don’t go along with what she wants. “

Negative Emotions #4: Fear of rejection, fear of negative outcome.

For “nice” people, it’s important to know that no one should be expected to be nice all the time. It’s neither reasonable nor real. If negative thoughts and emotions arise as a result of you being selective about your niceness, simply talk back to them with self-confirming responses:

Don’t Try To Please Everyone, And Don’t Try To Please Any One Person All The Time

No one can please everyone all the time, so please don’t even try.

People who receive your thankless and unreciprocated giving on a regular basis are also more likely to take it for granted.

There’s power that comes with exercising your right to set boundaries and say “no.” While there are many ways you can say “no” diplomatically (see tip #5 below), you’re saying “no” nonetheless.

With my private coaching to clients learning assertiveness, I often remind them that it’s more important to be respected than to be liked. Nice people often don’t get the respect they deserve, while those who are respected have the luxury to be nice.

Again, there’s power in saying “no” and setting your own priorities. Gain respect first, so that your generosity, when you do offer it, is truly appreciated.

At home I am a nice guy: but I don't want the world to know. Humble people, I've found, don't get very far.

Want to add word or two?

 Pain + Resistance = Suffering

We often ignore what we don’t want to see or what we wish to see differently. We devote a lot of time to denying what is. Consequently, so much energy is wasted by resisting something that cannot be changed in the first place, and suffering ensues. If we stop resisting and accept what is, we can stop additional suffering and pain. 

Acceptance

It’s important to note that you do not have to like, want, or support whatever it is that you’re accepting. Acceptance starts with perceiving reality as it is right now: what people are rather than what you want them to be, situations that you cannot control. Acknowledge what is present and what is, but know it is not necessarily finite.

Acceptance is an active process. It doesn’t mean that you can’t work on changing things and that what you’re accepting will be that way forever. But by struggling against reality—resisting and rejecting it—we create unnecessary additional suffering and pain. 

Your comment ….?

Value your own time.

Start small. Pick one, new time-management habit and master it. Countless articles are devoted to the topic of time management, yet few people follow the principles. If others see you don’t respect your time, they won’t, either.

For example, you might develop the art of saying “no” more often. It’s healthy for kids, clients, friends and coworkers to be turned down from time to time. It shows them you’re not an all-you-can-eat time buffet.

If you’re worried you might offend someone every now and then, you’re right. Some people are going to be offended (your social-media feed is easy proof that you can't please everyone). Even the most successful people in the world have hordes of haters.

Know this: Others will consume your day if you allow it. Operate each day with a written plan so you decide how your 24 hours will work for you. You'll see great benefits -- a propensity for productivity among them.

When you understand your time's true worth, it naturally affects what you choose to do and what you choose to avoid. The more you value your time, the more you streamline your thinking. As a result, your actions become more selective and wasting time becomes increasingly unattractive.

Keep in mind that some of the greatest time thieves aren't people.

How often do your mobile phone and other devices interrupt you with alerts?

Do you really need to know every time someone messages you on Facebook?

Throughout the day, pay attention to how your workflow is interrupted and determine how critical it is to receive the information in the moment.

Eliminate anything that doesn't pass the test.