Why Do We Change When We Become Successful?

My Personal Journey

There was a time in my life when I was anchored firmly at ground zero of my career. For those who don’t know me personally, I hail from a remote border village in Jammu, located in the northern part of India. Life was a struggle, and needs were desires. I recall walking through the streets of my village, dreaming of changing the world once I grew up and became successful. I would often feel contempt for successful individuals who seemed to only think about themselves and not contribute towards solving numerous global issues. Observing someone live in what appeared to me as luxury, without acting towards the betterment of the world, fortified my belief in attaining success, only to then assist others in achieving the same.

A Reality Check

While my circumstances have significantly improved, there’s still a longer journey ahead to reach the pinnacle of success. Sometimes, flashbacks from the past remind me of my origins and initial resolutions. The critical question that then surfaces is, "Am I doing enough for others?" To be honest, more often than not, the answer is a disappointing no. This gives rise to other questions: Why have things changed? Why don’t I remember being that person who was so determined to make a difference? And most importantly, is it still possible to become that person again?

Analysing the Change

I don’t intend to defend myself with reasons or excuse my lack of contribution towards societal betterment. Identifying the root causes and symptoms is crucial to fix any issue. Here are a few thoughts:

• The Gradual Nature of Success: As success doesn’t occur overnight, the past gradually fades away. We get so engrossed in our present and future that the past rarely occupies our thoughts.
• The Baggage of Success: Success brings along various burdens, like media attention, emotional fluctuations, health issues, and a luxurious life, among others. Although these might be materialistic, they become intrinsic to that position and can’t simply be ignored.
• Societal Expectations: Being successful means becoming a more integral part of society, thereby abiding by its elevated expectations. Maintaining these standards consumes a considerable amount of time and energy, influencing what you say, wear, and how you live.
• The Relentless Pursuit Upwards: Achieving success might be hard, but maintaining it is even more challenging. Thus, most focus is directed towards continuous growth and improvement.
• Desire for a Better Life: The drive to provide a superior life for ourselves and our loved ones is human nature. The experiences we couldn’t afford before become accessible, and we partly owe these improved life standards to our family members who assisted our ascent.
• Difficulty in Effecting Change: Changing the world is challenging. Problems are complex and money alone isn’t the solution. In some instances, charity does more harm than good, creating dependency rather than empowerment. Genuine change emanates from grassroots impact, which is inherently difficult, causing many of us to avoid attempting it.

A Universally Applicable Truth

The world is not detrimental because of the actions of bad people, but rather due to the inaction of good people.

A Path Towards Betterment

To enhance our societal contributions, it's vital to scrutinize our reasons for not doing so and identify how much superfluity we can eliminate from our lives. This will not only enable us to do better but also bring some inner peace. Last year, during a soul-searching journey through the Himalayas, an insight was bestowed upon me, perhaps the most profound thus far, from an unexpected source – a monk at a monastery. He said,

"There are only three things you need to remember - Empathy, Compassion, and Good Intent. The rest will follow suit."

These words resonated deeply within me and have stayed with me ever since. When faced with impactful decisions, I assess them against these three criteria:

• Is it empathetic?
• Is it compassionate?
• Is the intent good?

If the answer to all is yes, I proceed. This guideline not only facilitates decision-making but also ensures that my actions are grounded and humble, considering the broader picture. I encourage everyone to allocate time each week to sit with their thoughts, introspect, and navigate through their decisions using these questions.

Conclusion

While not a panacea for all problems, if every leader and successful individual adhered to these principles, our world would surely edge closer to being a better place.