Why do we admire the people we admire?

What do Olivia Pope (Scandal), Donna Paulsen (Suits), and my grandmas (real life) have in common?

I’m obsessed with Olivia’s fire and determination. How she fights for what she believes in and doesn’t stop until she gets what she wants. I love her leadership and how she created a team of?white hat soldiers?that stand by her side and fight for her and each other, no matter what.

Donna’s wittiness and sense of humor are everything. She’s smart and clever. She gets shit done and then some. She’s always a couple steps ahead of what her boss and team need and is the best at her job. But of course she’s amazing at her job, she loves doing it and the people she does it with!

My grandmas, Leonor (87) and Mercedes (98) have lived lives of service to their communities. They not only raised and formed healthy, beautiful, tight families, but gave so much of their time, money, and selves to those less fortunate than them.

What you admire in others, you have within yourself.

Have you ever heard this phrase before? I’ve read/heard it several times and it never really clicked until about a year ago when I started to really?really?like this person I met on a dating app. Ugh, dating apps.. Never again. Iykyk.

I went head over heels for this person so quickly it was kind of ridiculous. I’m not saying I fell in love. It wasn’t love.

It was pure?awe.

They were driven, they owned their own business, they were in the same creative career as me only miles ahead, they were go-getters, smart, and witty AF. They had everything I was looking for..

And then it hit me.

All of those things I was so blown away by from this other person were traits I was missing in myself. I knew I had all those qualities, but I had somehow buried them deep down for quite a long time.

So it?is true?then! What we are able to recognize and like in others, we are only able to see because we have it inside. Is it?

Why do we admire the people/characters we admire?

According to?the experts, there are lots of reasons why we admire those we admire, whether?real?or fictional.

In large part, it’s because of our upbringing. The society and culture we grew up in. You probably admire some of the same people your parents or your older siblings admire. You also likely look up to the same influencers, celebrities, and power figures your friends do. This is?kind of a requisite?in order to belong in your tribe.

But it doesn’t have to stay like that. Who you admire can change, as you change, as you grow, and decide you don’t like the same things or stand for the same values or principles you inherited and had no say in, to begin with. As you start becoming and, more importantly, un-becoming, who you admire will possibly change too.

According to?Merriam-Webster?dictionary, admiration means?a feeling of respect and approval, an object of esteem.

To me, admiring someone is more about?who do I aspire to be more like??I believe you can respect someone and see them as an equal, but you don’t necessarily strive to be like them.

Let’s put Olivia Pope as an example. I told you all the things I admire about her, because well, this is a post about admiration but, believe me, there are a lot more things about her that I don’t?subscribe to?than the ones I do.?I love that she gets things done but, most of the time, I don’t like?how?she gets them done. I don’t know that I could say she has my respect, yet, I admire certain traits about her and have worked on implementing them in my own life.

We are the average of the 5 people we spend the most time with. — Jim Rohn

With the world at our fingertips, this phrase doesn’t necessarily mean the 5 friends you hang out with in person the most. It applies to the people you?spend the most time with?as in, who do you follow religiously on social media? Who’s books/posts do you read as they come out? Who’s podcast do you have the new episode notifications on for? What TV shows do you watch and who is your favorite character?

Who you admire and why you admire them says a lot about you. I invite you to take inventory of who these people and characters are for you and figure out why you feel that way about them. Do you already?practice?those traits and that’s why you feel represented or even understood by them? Or is it more that you wish you could be more like them and didn’t know you actually are,?deep down, until now?

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So, what do Olivia Pope, Donna Paulsen, and my grandmas have in common?

They all share my admiration.

pm.z