Why Do So Many Leaders Become Bullies?

(And Why Do They Fail to Recognize It?)

By Amit Sood

Leadership is meant to inspire, guide, and uplift—but why do so many of us, when given power, end up controlling, dismissing, or even bullying those around us?

Research suggests that power physically alters brain function, numbing our ability to empathize and making us less receptive to feedback. While some leaders rise and use their influence to empower others, others—consciously or unconsciously—begin micromanaging, intimidating, or pressuring their teams into compliance rather than engagement.

How does this happen, and more importantly, how can we prevent it?

1. The Psychological Effects of Power: It Can Dull Empathy

Power doesn’t just shift how others perceive us—it changes how we perceive them. Research by neuroscientist Sukhvinder Obhi found that individuals in positions of power exhibit reduced activity in the brain’s mirror-neuron system, which is responsible for empathy and understanding others' emotions. (Psychological Science)

• As we rise in leadership, we may stop noticing how our words and actions emotionally impact others.
• We lose patience with struggles we once understood in our earlier roles.
• We assume others should "just handle it" the way we did—ignoring individual differences.

Why Don’t We See It:

• We assume our intentions are good, so we dismiss the negative effects of our behaviour.
• Employees hesitate to give honest feedback, especially when they fear repercussions.

2. We Mistake Authority for Superiority

Gaining power can make us feel validated, capable, and important—but when unchecked, it also leads to arrogance and overconfidence.

• We stop listening to feedback.
• We assume our title makes us more competent than those we lead.
• We dismiss emotional intelligence in favour of results.

Why Don’t We See It:

• The higher we climb, the fewer people challenge us or correct our behaviour.
• We convince ourselves that being a "strong leader" justifies our harshness.

Leaders as the Targets of Workplace Bullying – a study shows that leadership roles can both inflict and attract workplace bullying. (Springer Link)

3. We Internalize Stress and Project It Onto Others

Leaders operate under constant scrutiny and high expectations. The pressure to deliver results can turn high-achievers into high-stress leaders who unintentionally spread anxiety.

• Instead of managing stress, we pass it down to our teams.
• We push harder, criticize more, and micromanage, mistaking control for efficiency.
• We mistake fear-driven compliance for respect and productivity.

?? Further Reading: Workplace Bullying—A Failure of Leadership explores how unchecked leadership stress can create toxic workplace dynamics. (Quality Safety Edge)

Why We Don’t See It:

• We tell ourselves, "This is just how leadership works."
• We assume our team understands our pressures, even when they don’t.

4. We Model What We’ve Experienced

Many leaders become bullies because they were led by bullies. If we’ve endured harsh bosses, unrealistic demands, or toxic criticism, we might unconsciously repeat the cycle.

• "I was yelled at and criticized when I made mistakes—should it be different for my team?"
• "Tough leadership got me here, so it must be the right way to lead."

(Read: Standing Up Against Workplace Bullying Behavior -PMC)

Why We Don’t See It:

• We normalize toxic leadership and assume, "This is just the way it is."
• We believe kind leadership = weakness, so we default to control and pressure.

5. Power Creates a Bubble—People Stop Giving Us Honest Feedback

As we rise in power, people become more hesitant to challenge us. This creates a false sense of infallibility, leading leaders to believe their decisions are right simply because no one objects.

• Fewer people say "no" or push back against bad ideas.
• Employees laugh at our jokes, even when they aren’t funny.
• No one calls us out when we are rude, dismissive, or overly harsh.

(Read: Boundaries of Ethical Leadership in Mitigating Workplace Bullying)

?? Why We Don’t See It:

• We mistake silence for agreement rather than fear.
• Our status blinds us to how our behaviour affects others.

How Can We Prevent Ourselves From Becoming Bully Bosses?

1. Self-Reflection: Regularly ask, “How do my actions affect my team?”

2. Ask for Honest Feedback: Encourage employees to share concerns without fear of retaliation.

3. Develop Emotional Intelligence: Work on empathy, patience, and active listening.

4. Model Positive Leadership: Instead of repeating toxic patterns, break the cycle.

5. Lead With Influence, Not Fear: True leaders inspire, empower, and uplift—they don’t tear down their teams.

?? Read: How Power Erodes Empathy and how to counteract power’s negative effects. WBUR.

Leadership Is About Lifting- Others as well as Ourselves!

Power is a responsibility. The best leaders recognize their influence and choose to use it wisely, kindly, and effectively.

If we want to avoid becoming the very leaders we once feared, we must remain self-aware, open to feedback, and committed to continuous growth.

If you've ever questioned whether your leadership is inspiring or intimidating, you're already ahead of those who never stop to reflect.

Keep growing. Keep leading. Keep learning.