Why do Smart People end up in the Wrong Relationship?

Are you tired of being single, lonely, or always ending up in the wrong relationship? Facing yet another Valentine’s Day without a ‘date’ and wondering where your soulmate is? 

What if you discover that there is something much more fulfilling in a relationship than just being transitorily ‘happy’?

There exists a mystifying relationship paradox for many smart people who find themselves in a relationship that is unfulfilling, controlling, and toxic to their being. By the outside world they are perceived as people who have it all, but by their inside world, they are perceived as fraudsters.

Having helped thousands of successful, smart, and inspiring people improve their existing relationship, find love after painful break ups, and in some cases help them divorce with love, I noticed a common pattern that was the root cause of an array of relationship challenges they all were experiencing.

No matter what they did or did not do, they seem to put themselves in a never ending relationship emotional rollercoaster that on one hand it gave them the thrill of their life time and on the other hand it distorted their inner truth.

The truth that if acknowledged it will turn their stomach inside out, make them sick, and push them into uncharted, unsafe, and unloving territories of drug taking, alcoholism, infidelity, and in the worst case scenario – suicide.

Having dated both men and women, I put myself on a quest to find the answer to why smart people find themselves in the wrong relationship. It took me thirty years of study, research, and personal experience of dating both men and women to find the answer to this question.

It is this pursuit to quench my own inner thirst for being in a co-loving relationship that led me to discover a breakthrough methodology and to eventually become known by the world as a speaker, bestselling author, cognition, behavioural and emotional intelligent expert who helps others empower all of the eight key areas of life and consciously engineer a co-loving relationship that lasts a life time.

I started to attract people from all walks of life who wanted my help to focus their time, money, and energy to find their ideal partner, restore balance in their relationships, and teach them the secrets to attracting love and growing in a co-loving relationship.

The #1 reason why smart people end up in the wrong relationship is because they are unconsciously using a cave man operating system 0.1 to attract a co-loving relationship that only exists inside an operating system 5.0 Brilliance.

To demystify the above statement in a language that many of you would understand, let me ask you this question:

Would you expect a thirty year old computer running on a DOS operating system that has an inbuilt 56 kb dial- up modem and a massive CRT monitor to be able to connect to a super-fast fibre broad band and enable you to watch your favourite shows in HD quality?

We all know the answer to this metaphoric question to be - Absolutely NOT. Similarly, smart people are unconsciously using outdated beliefs, values, and ways of thinking (caveman operating system 0.1) in trying to create meaningful, long-lasting, and co-loving relationship. So no matter what they do, how hard they try, and how many partners they change, they always end up in the wrong relationship.

Intuitively we all know that being in a loving, stable, and nurturing relationship increases our chances for survival. Not only that, when we are in a co-loving, nurturing, and balanced relationship our body tends to release more  dopamine, endorphin, serotonin, and oxytocin mood enhancing and love binding hormones which impact our emotional well-being, it helps us create the stability, trust, and the long term loving companionship we all deep down crave to have.

Thus, for evolutionary reasons it is essential for all of us to upgrade our internal operating system to Brilliance 5.0 so that we can save guard our existence as species by consciously being in a co-loving relationship with one another.

And to do that, here are the five conscious principles of the TJS Evolutionary Method: ALARM? that you can use to attract a Co-Loving Relationship that last a life time:

1. Acknowledge if your relationship is built upon a form of love you're intended to outgrow. What you need to do is to evaluate the initial perceptions of love that brought you together and see if it is a kind of love that was intended to hold you together or pushing you further apart from one another.
2. Love the unlovable in you. Learning to do this is what unlocks the self-reflective awareness required to upgrade your Caveman 0.1 operating system to Brilliance 5.0 and attract your evolutionary duo. Don’t be fooled, this is not a one of process; it is a life time commitment. If your current partner is not at this level of awareness and you are not willing to let go your desire to control and change others, you will remain stuck on this step your entire life. If however you give yourself permission to upgrade your beliefs, values, and thinking, you will find yourself in a vibrational field that starts to align you with another person who also is seeking a co-loving relationship. This is where you will experience first-hand the magic of the Law of Attraction.
3. Achieve inner equilibrium. Find out what you are infatuated with or resentful to your relationships, if you don’t, they will run your life. Whatever you are infatuated with or resentful to will occupy space and time in your mind and keep your mind in bondage until you become free through balance of true love.
4. Results of a co-depend relationship are also the seeds of divine love. List down all of the things that you like and dislike in your current relationship and use TJS Evolutionary Method to neutralise all of the critical charges concerning all of the people you dated. In balancing the positive and negative polarities that you miss-perceive in other people, places, things, ideas or events, you start to upgrade your internal operating system to Brilliance 5.0 and transmute those negative charges into appreciation and love.
5. Miracles are a result of a mind that its perceptions are being constantly equilibrated. In this state of awareness, you start to become more present with all that is, your vibrate at higher frequency, and you start to attract in your life a partner that becomes your co-evolutionary duo that loves to do this process of constant change and upgrade to new levels of awareness, being, and loving.

Practising daily the above five steps will help you activate a higher form of love that's intended to become the foundation of a co-loving relationship you deep down desire. And when it does, your relationships change for ever and for better, even in relationships that might seem beyond repair.

I have helped many people create relationship foundations which are built from higher form of or love. Clients who committed to these process I teach that their relationship survived the tests of all times, flourish in ways that are absolutely breath-taking, and it is what helped them discover a deep and abiding connection unlike anything they've ever known.

What's beautiful to observe, this Higher Love I help people attain is 100% unassailable. *Nothing* and *No One* can steal it away from you.

And the best part? You too can bring this higher form of Love into all your relationships -- starting today -- using the above five principles that you can read in more detail in my Amazon bestselling book A Path to Wisdom and the Book Excellence Award Winner #Loneliness. Both books will equip you with simple yet extremely powerful techniques. It's really quite easy to do.

I explain all of these vital relationship secrets and so much more in a revealing five day program, Vital Planning for Elevated Living, or any of my integrated coaching programs where you will experience upgrade of your internal mental faculties and plan your days in ways that lead you to a Higher, Happier, and Healthier Life with the One You Love.

For those of you who would love to create all of the above, are ready to commit their time, focus and money, this exclusive one to one or one to many program is now available in London, Lanzarote, Menorca, Malta, Dubrovnik, and in the comfort of your own home no matter where you are in the world.

Here is what Joachim Gerhard, the Co-founder of GayaCards Greeting Cards and Success Coach for Entrepreneurs had to say:

“Working with Tony helps to active your brain and your mental capacities. You start to become superhuman like Leonardo da Vinci or Jason Bourne.”

Traveling around the world speaking, teaching, and consulting people from all professions and market sectors helped me realize that no matter what culture, religion, or nationality we all come from, we all have that part of ourselves that wants to connect, forge meaningful relationships, and love to be loved.

Thank you for making the time to read this far, I put my Valentines message to you in the picture below, may it serve you on your ever evolving love journey.

Tony J. Selimi

P.S. Would you like to learn how to break those patterns that lead to bad relationships? I love to encourage restorative behaviour in all its forms, which is why until end of February I am offering 50% off my Initial Two Hour Clarity Coaching Session. Be sure to take advantage of this discount while it lasts!

Idea of the Day: "Your most empowered relationship is the one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other." Dr. John Demartini

What's your take? Join the conversations on today's valentines post in the comments section.