Why do people in relationships CHEAT? ...part 237

It is necessary to the happiness of man that he be mentally faithful to himself. Infidelity does not consist in believing, or in disbelieving.

Cheaters are a dime a dozen these days. But you have to wonder. Why do people, in an otherwise good relationship, cheat?

This is a complex question that would demand hours upon hours of research and subsequent pontification. Suffice to say that being cheated on is one of the worst things you could ever experience in a relationship.

Many possible life events occur for which we generally do not prepare. For instance, we do not generally expect or look for the death of a loved one, being diagnosed with cancer, falling victim to a mental illness , and so on.

 The simple yet complex reason for this unpreparedness is that we grow accustomed to a certain way of life. When life is complicated by a formidable obstruction, we tend to search desperately for answers. We may even feel like losing hope. Hopefully, we find the wherewithal to search for answers and a solution.

Infidelity is one of those “possible life events” that we don’t prepare for. Finding that a partner is cheating is particularly hurtful because we tend to give our all into a relationship. When you give your love, heart, and soul to another human being, you expect the same in return. You don’t expect your partner will cheat on you. A commonly-cited axiom in the medical community is,

“Prevention is the best cure.” Apply this to a relationship with a potential cheater.

 Why suffer the consequences when they can be prevented in the first place?

Relationships can be extraordinarily complex. Combined with the individual quirks we all possess, precaution is a warranted measure when approaching someone who might have a tendency toward infidelity.

 As with any behavior, it can be difficult to decipher their intentions. At the same time, the more “symptoms” that are present, the likelier it is that a real problem exists.

For the victim, this is pretty easy to observe but extraordinarily difficult to accept. Emotional detachment from someone you love is like a punch to the heart. Unfortunately, disconnection often preludes a deteriorating relationship. 

A potential cheat finds it easier to distance himself or herself emotionally from someone than to confront the real problem. It’s a cowardly act, in many ways.

When two people are in love , intimacy and/or sex naturally takes place. If a partner shows no interest in intimacy, it may be a sign of infidelity. This is especially true if no prior issues existed in this area.

If nothing else, this behavior indicates some type of emotional or physical disconnection. A physical connection is vital in a healthy relationship. If you are facing this issue, you might want to have a serious discussion with your partner.

Disclaimer: The information on this POST is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional advice. The opinions expressed within this article are the personal opinions of the author. All content, including text, graphics, images and information, contained on or available through this article is for general information purposes / educational purposes only, and to ensure discussion or debate. 

Thank you …Defensive attitude

Two people in a serious relationship should understand the differences between each other’s personalities. Hopefully, you understand the flaws of your partner, and you accept them. It is peculiar, then, for a partner to suddenly become defensive regarding obvious behavior shifts. Rational dialogue is a necessity for any relationship; if this becomes a problem, you might consider there’s some type of issue.

Perhaps a more beneficial angle – particularly those with a partner who is a susceptible cheat – is to elaborate a bit about the signs of cheating . It is worth noting that not every individual who expresses these behaviors will cheat, or has cheated. Relatedly, many individuals cheat who provide no apparent, outward reason to suspect infidelity.

THEY ARE ALWAYS COMING HOME LATE

Your partner used to be a time hawk, always ragging you about needing to be (someplace) at (specific time), only to suddenly disavow his/her meticulous time ownership in favor of arriving home late, it may be a sign of cheating.

Quite simply, it makes little sense for someone involved in a relationship to ignore obvious changes to how they manage time. Those that do are often willing and able to provide an honest explanation to exactly why such changes are taking place… except for a potential cheater, that is.

THEY SAFEGUARD THEIR PHONE

Nobody likes having their phone tampered with. In a serious relationship or marriage, however, it is not unusual to play with your partners phone out of habit. If your partner suddenly and uncharacteristically objects to this by snagging their phone out of your hands, it may be worthwhile to have a constructive dialogue.

It is common for those in a serious relationship to share financial information with each other – a “My money is your money” kind of deal. So, for your partner to inexplicably have spontaneous charges to their credit or debit cards makes little sense. Perhaps more deserving of scrutiny is a newly-opened line of credit that was neither discussed with, nor approved by, their relationship partner.

    Make no mistake: privacy is absolutely essential to the well-being of every relationship. However, constantly insisting upon ‘privacy’ in excess is a potential misnomer when need to said ‘privacy’ was never a prior issue until recently.

Okay, so we all need to work for a living, understandably. But, as a couple, you should feel obligated to elaborate on any significant changes to your work schedule. Unfortunately, this is one not-so-subtle excuse that cheaters use to explain away any previously-existent sense of responsibility.

Work is a common and convenient excuse for a number of reasons. Primarily, it is commonplace for employees to put in extra hours at the workplace, either out of necessity or a sense of obligation. However, when ‘working’ seems to become more the rule than the exception, it is time to have a serious talk.

Do you suspect your husband or wife is having an affair or cheating on you?

Did you find one of these apps on his/her phone?

If you find yourself at this unfortunate crossroad, technology has allowed proof to go far beyond finding lipstick on a shirt collar. 

Add the fact I caught a glimpse of a pornish pic that looked like he was in it last week, and he’s been REALLY touch about my touching his phone, which isn’t normal or necessary since I only touch it to give it to him.

He swore a year ago he was done with this type shit. I told him I would be done should I catch him again. Hurts. Love him to death. Maybe literally.