Why Do People Leave Companies? Reflections of a Mid-Career Professional

Two things have inspired this post.

A recent conversation about cake decorations for a colleague who is returning after a short stint in another company.

A brilliantly written invite I received to be a sparring partner by someone thinking about how to navigate their career next steps. The night I received the invite, I found myself unable to sleep thinking about what questions to ask and reflecting on what learnings to share from my own journey. Eventually, I found myself wondering what the near and far future held for me. I lay there, tossing and turning, my heart aching for career dreams yet unrealised.

My mind wandered to the conversation about the colleague who left and then I thought about the two distinct points in my career when I had made active steps towards leaving the company I was (am) in.

The first time. A new company strategy was in the works and I had the opportunity to work closely with the Chief Supply Chain Officer and the Head of Supply Chain Strategy and be part of the process of a global Supply Chain Network Strategy come to life. I really was living ‘my best work life’ being exposed to the considerations and decision making process of senior leadership when it came to the future of the organisation. However, I was deeply unhappy in the city I lived. An onslaught of racial incidents in different settings made me feel hypervigilant and unsafe outside the bubble of my friends. In the aftermath of the high of the launch of the strategy, I found myself thinking this was probably a good time to leave the company all together.

One day, I took an action in line with my decision and barely a week later, my manager came to desk. With a hand on my shoulder she said:

‘Whatever you do Moyo, don’t leave. We’re going to find a solution.’

I was surprised. Writing this, I realise I never did ask what the tell was for her but I decided to trust her and I stayed.

The second time I took action towards leaving is a completely different story. My work situation was such that I felt useless and stuck and that resulted in demotivation. I was near consumed by embarrassment to have found myself in that position and so I hid away, keeping as low a profile as I could so that nobody, particularly those who knew me well, could tell. I had recently received accolades and did not want to be seen as ‘no longer a performer’.

Demotivation and anxiety are feelings, that I am not accustomed to, particularly for an extended period of time and I found myself not quite knowing what to do with it – a very invaluable experience, I must say.

Considering my situation untenable, I decided it was time to leave and go after my dream job. I soon realised that this place I was in, fearful and unsure of myself is a bad place to operate from – particularly when it comes to going after something new and different. With time, it did not make sense to keep hiding, so I tried to figure out what the safest way was to come into the light. I started by asking myself, outside a certain radius of my current work circumstance,

1.?????? Who knows me well?

2.?????? Who can I trust?

I reached out to two people.

A VP in a different function who I had worked with before and a HR colleague who had known me since my days as a graduate trainee. I reached out to the VP because I knew needed grace and gentleness to navigate my circumstance. Two things I did not seem to be able to give myself. ‘Stop being so hard on yourself’ he had told me once.

In true (coconut-headed) Moyo fashion, I had responded, ‘I don’t think I am holding myself to a standard that is unattainable for me’

I reached out to the HR colleague because she had seen me in many contexts throughout the graduate. I wanted to be reminded of who I was.

In the calls I had (individually) with them, I cried ugly tears as I explained why I thought it was time to leave the company and follow my dreams. I cried even uglier tears as I shared how unsure of myself ?I was. This isn’t me. Yet it seemed to be what I could see.

They listened. They affirmed me. They told me they thought I would be a great fit in the field I wanted to move into. The VP organised for me to have a call with a career and personal coach at no cost to myself and this proved to be a great help in the journey of getting my ‘moyo’ back (see what I did there). The HR colleague offered to make introductions to contacts she had in the industry I was interested in whenever I was ready. Both of my colleagues showed me? great kindness and care and I am beyond grateful to them. I wish I had spoken up sooner and that I had not hidden away, then I may not have ended up so down in the dumps. That said, I look back and I do not feel a deep sense of regret because I learnt a lot about myself and I came out better out of the process. I lived and I learnt.

I will pause here to acknowledge that it perhaps is a bit unconventional perhaps to ?set up a call with HR and a senior leader to discuss your plans for leaving the company and go on to have a cry about it. I generally would not recommend this as a line of action.

However, I am a believer in navigating your career in the way that you believe is both best suited to who you are slash what matters to you as a person and what brings value to you. I am a person who puts a lot of weight on genuine connections that I make with people. In a workplace and professional context, this can look like incredibly open and vulnerable relationships with people, without being friends per se – in the sense that we do not hang out together outside work. Thankfully, I think this way of operating (it has its risks yes) works for me, because it is complemented by the fact that I am incredibly (and unconsciously) perceptive. I often don’t realise what I have picked up on until I am ‘cocooning’. I will also admit that my nature is such that openness is a gift offered freely but trust is not. To me, trust (it’s development and the degree to which is exists) is part determined by ‘what is done’ with the openness shared. This, so to speak, seems to help protect me.

Today, I sit in a position that is as close to both being ‘my dream job’ and preparing me for my ‘dream job’. If you asked me how this is possible and what this mysterious dream job is, I would tell you that there are a few things a person should keep to themselves, wink.

Leaders at work and peers that I have career conversation with have heard me talk about my career purpose in one form or the other. I believe with every breath that is in me, that my career has a bigger purpose of which I am steward. My North Star. I do not know the details of the whats, hows and whens but I can tell you that I have a vision and my heart longs and aches so keenly for its realisation. One of my greatest fear is letting complacency, comfort or hard knocks of life, limit my pursuit of this. I want to operate and create impact on an industry level and I want my mind and person to be stimulated, stretched and challenged on the journey and that may very well mean I leave. hurries to insert relevant disclaimer

I hope that when people leave companies it will be in pursuit of something that matters to them, whatever that is.

I also know that people leave ‘great’ companies because of work situations that have left them demotivated etc. I think about my own experience of being in this space and try to apply that in understanding what would have, can make the difference. For me? For others?

One easy answer is there is a power in sharing stories. In the aftermath of #DemotivationGate, I asked a member of my informal Board of Directors if they had ever felt demotivated and their answer (a yes) surprised me. Of course, people get demotivated and for many reasons. Of course, people find themselves in untenable work situations. I know this now and even though I still feel a sense of embarrassment looking back, but a lot of value has come out of the experience.

If this was a conversation, at this stage I would try and lighten the mood but saying one of my key takeaways is that I really do impress me. I would quip ‘Not me being at my lowest crying ugly tears but still chasing after my dreams’ but Reader my sense of humour is best enjoyed in person.

Why do people leave?

A plethora of reasons.

I hope that when people leave (or stay at) companies it will be in pursuit of something that matters to them, whatever that is.

I hope that when I make decisions to leave and to stay, it will count as a step towards the realisation of my career dreams. ?