Why Do Mothers Have to Start Over?

I was on a call with a mother who had just returned from maternity leave. She was preparing for an interview, but not for the kind of role she once held. Before taking a break, she had a senior position. Now, she was applying for a lower role. She had been out of work for nearly a year and a half, and she felt like she had to start over.?

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This isn’t a rare story. Many mothers find themselves in the same situation after taking time off to care for their children. They step away for a while, only to return to a job market that seems to have moved on without them. Employers question their skills. Hiring managers hesitate. And in many cases, the only way back in is to accept a role below their previous level.?

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The Cost of Motherhood in the Workplace?

Taking time off to have a child should not mean taking steps backward in a career. Yet, this is exactly what happens to many women.

Studies have shown that mothers are less likely to be hired, are offered lower salaries, and are often passed over for promotions. This is what is known as the motherhood penalty.?

?The assumption is that mothers are less committed. That their priorities have shifted. That they won’t be able to handle demanding roles.

Meanwhile, fathers rarely face the same scrutiny. If anything, they are seen as more responsible and even more deserving of higher pay, a phenomenon known as the fatherhood bonus.?

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The Struggle to Get Back In?

For mothers who take extended breaks, re-entering the workforce can feel like an uphill battle. Gaps on a résumé raise questions.

Employers wonder if they are still up to date with industry trends. Some hiring managers worry that they will have trouble balancing work and family life.?

Instead of being seen as professionals with valuable experience, they are treated as newcomers. They are advised to “lower their expectations” and “get their foot in the door again.”

And so, many end up settling for jobs that pay less and offer fewer opportunities for growth—just to get back into the system.?

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Why Should Motherhood Mean Starting Over??

Skills don’t disappear during maternity leave. Leadership, problem-solving, and time management don’t vanish because someone took time off to care for their child. In fact, motherhood often strengthens these abilities.

Yet, the workplace continues to penalize women for stepping away, even when their break was for something as important as raising the next generation.?

?The real question is: Why does this penalty exist at all? Why do companies assume that a mother is any less capable than she was before? And why should a woman have to work twice as hard to prove herself again, simply because she had a child??

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What Needs to Change?

1. A Shift in Perspective: Employers need to recognize that career breaks don’t erase skills. They should focus on a candidate’s experience, abilities, and potential rather than the gap on their résumé.?

2. Flexible Work Policies: Workplaces must create environments where mothers don’t feel like they have to choose between their careers and their families. Flexible hours, hybrid work, and supportive parental leave policies can make a difference.?

3. Fair Hiring Practices: Companies should ensure that hiring decisions are based on merit, not on outdated assumptions about motherhood and work commitment.?

4. Support for Career Returners: More organizations should offer return-to-work programs that help mothers (and others with career gaps) reintegrate into the workforce without being forced to take a step back.?

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For Mothers Facing This Challenge??

If you are returning to work after maternity leave or a career break, know that your value has not diminished. Here are a few things to keep in mind:??

1. Own Your Experience: Don’t downplay the skills you have gained during your time away. Leadership, resilience, multitasking, and crisis management are just a few of the strengths that motherhood reinforces.?

2. Update Your Skills if Needed: If you feel out of touch with industry trends, consider online courses or certifications to refresh your knowledge.?

3. Negotiate with Confidence: Just because you took a break doesn’t mean you should accept less than you deserve. Push back against offers that undervalue your experience.?

4. Seek Support: Networking groups, mentorship programs, and career coaches can help you navigate the transition back to work.?

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Fixing?the System

The problem isn’t mothers taking time off, it is how workplaces respond when they return. If companies truly value diversity, inclusion, and talent, they need to fix the structures that make mothers feel like they are being punished for having children.?

Until then, women will keep having the same conversations. They will keep applying for roles that are below their qualifications. They will keep struggling to reclaim what they worked hard for.?

?And that shouldn’t be the price of motherhood.