Why Do Most “Mentors” Sound Like Wise Sages?

The Reality Behind the “Wisdom” Effect

Have you ever sat in a mentor session and thought, “Wow, they’re wise!” only to leave and realize… the advice was a bit vague? There’s a reason why so many mentors sound “sage-like,” even if the advice they give doesn’t always feel groundbreaking when you dig in. Let’s break down the phenomenon and see why some advice sounds profound—even if it’s not always applicable.

1. Seeing Clearly from the Outside

One big reason mentors seem wise is simple: they’re on the outside looking in. Without the personal stakes, worries, or complex emotions, they can see your situation with clarity that might elude you.

• Advice Feels Simple from a Distance: When you’re not entangled in the complexities of a problem, things appear simpler. For mentors, it’s like watching a friend struggle in a relationship that you know won’t work out. You can see what they can’t because you’re detached from it.
• Experience is Not the Same as Objectivity: Sometimes, mentors sound wise because they’re projecting their past experience onto your situation. But here’s the catch—your context is unique. Advice given from an outsider’s perspective can sound wise without truly fitting your needs.

Example: A mentor may say, “Focus on one goal at a time; distractions are just noise.” It sounds insightful, but in reality, your situation may require managing multiple priorities. Clarity isn’t the same as relevance, yet that clarity often comes off as wisdom.

2. The Trick of Abstract Language

Let’s admit it—sounding wise isn’t always about having real insight; sometimes, it’s about how you frame things. There’s a reason abstract language has a mystical quality to it: open-ended phrases allow people to interpret advice in ways that feel personally meaningful.

• Vague Language Appeals to Everyone: When a mentor says, “Align your purpose with your passion,” it sounds profound. But what does it actually mean? The beauty (and trap) of vague language is that it lets you fill in the blanks. It can seem like universal truth when it’s really just a well-phrased sentence.
• The “Life Truth” Effect: Words like purpose, journey, or alignment are common in mentorship because they create an air of wisdom. They’re powerful words, but the advice itself may lack specific action points.

Example: “Success is about finding your true north.” It sounds good but can leave you wondering, How do I actually apply this to my goals? When mentors use philosophical phrases, they can appear sage-like without offering real, actionable steps.

3. Experience: Helpful but Not All-Encompassing

Mentors often have more experience, which naturally gives their words weight. But sometimes, a little extra experience is presented as deep wisdom, even when it’s not fully applicable. The difference in experience can make advice sound sage-like, even when it’s just based on limited personal success.

• Experience Creates Credibility, But Not Universality: Experience gives advice credibility, but not all experience transfers equally. Mentors might rely on what worked for them, assuming it’s universally effective.
• Risk of Overgeneralizing: If a mentor found success in one way, they may present it as the best (or only) way, even if your path might need a different approach.

Example: A mentor tells you, “Always aim for high-quality, not quantity, in sales.” This may have worked in their field, but in your case, a numbers-driven approach could be essential for growth. Experience can be inspiring but needs a filter—your filter.

4. Power Dynamics: Supply and Demand of “Answers”

Advice creates a natural power dynamic. The person who “knows” something has the upper hand over the person who “seeks” that knowledge. This subtle power shift can give mentors an air of authority that makes their advice sound wise, even if it’s not necessarily groundbreaking.

• Social Hierarchy Plays a Role: When someone has knowledge or guidance to offer, they often assume a position of power. In mentorship, this often translates to the mentor’s advice seeming “higher” in value by default.
• Respect for “The Mentor” Role: There’s an unspoken rule to respect those who advise us, even if we’re not fully convinced. This inherent respect often means we accept their words with less skepticism than we might otherwise.

Example: Imagine a mentor saying, “Consistency is the key to all success.” The idea sounds valuable, but it’s also simple and broad. Because of their perceived status, you’re likely to take it as sound wisdom, even if it doesn’t address the complexities you’re facing. The dynamics of advice inherently give mentors a perceived authority.

So, Why Does This Matter?

Mentors are invaluable resources, and some truly have game-changing wisdom to offer. But not all advice—no matter how sage-like it sounds—fits every person or situation. The next time you hear a mentor drop some “profound” wisdom, try this:

• Check for Clarity vs. Relevance: Does the advice actually help you, or does it just sound good?
• Identify Actionable Points: If the advice doesn’t include specific actions, consider whether it’s insightful or simply well-phrased.
• Filter for Your Own Situation: Remember, you’re the expert on your own life and work. Take the best, and leave the rest.

Sounding Sage-like Isn’t the Same as Being Useful and Practical

The allure of sage-sounding advice is real, but true wisdom is often practical, grounded, and specific. Great advice may sound simple—but it should also feel like it has depth, direction, and relatability for your unique journey.

Please choose people who you put on that pedestal carefully, and if possible, wisely.