Why do more men than women still live at home in adulthood?

The Hotel of Mum and Dad is offering a 5* service, but it's impacting the genders differently.

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In this week’s issue:

• My thoughts on THAT Mr Beast interview
• Is internet access a human right?
• We’re hiring (AGAIN) ….. this time for a visual data expert

Why do more men than women still live with their parents?

When you think of the ‘Hotel of Mum and Dad,’ maybe you picture a cushy London townhouse, affluent parents helping their kids get on the housing ladder, or a temporary stop before launching into a successful career. But that’s not the real story. The latest headline is that the number of UK adults living with their parents has surged by a third in the last 20 years—adding nearly half a million to the tally—and the reality is far grittier, more complex, and far less about privileged young people in the capital.

‘Boomerang children’ may now be socially acceptable, even seen as practical, but there remains a problem with how we talk about this phenomenon. Just observe the media coverage of the?latest IFS report?(above). The images are predominantly the same: white, middle-class, urbanites, reinforcing the false idea that this is a city-centric trend among the affluent. In reality, however, working-class families are most affected; Bangladeshi households have the highest rates of co-residence, and the sharpest increase has occurred in Northern Ireland and the East of England, not London.?

Then there’s the gender mismatch evident here. Three out of five of these images show daughters, but the statistics paint a different picture. 23% of men in their 20s and 30s are still at home, compared to just 15% of women. In the US and across the developed world, the picture is the same—men are significantly more likely than women to remain in the parental home. Some studies even suggest mothers provide more financial and domestic support to their sons than to their daughters, making it easier for them to stay at home without the same pressure to contribute or move out. Yes, there is a gender pay gap when it comes to the support of the Bank of Mum and Dad.

But that’s not the only reason. There’s an unspoken pressure for women to get on in their twenties that doesn’t apply as strongly to men. There’s also a desire—perhaps even an instinct—for independence, particularly from domestic responsibilities, which women know will come for them later. But more forcefully, women in their twenties are now out-earning men, entering the workforce in greater numbers, and advancing faster. Since 2020, young women in the UK have been more likely to be in work than young men, a trend mirrored across developed countries. As John Burn Murdoch in the FT has noted, 2022 was the first time the average young woman in the UK had a higher income than her male counterpart. This is largely due to the rise in female graduates and the decline in well-paid, non-graduate jobs that once supported young men.

But this is where gender intersects with class and geography. London’s housing crisis often steals the spotlight. However, the highest rates of young adults living with their parents are found in Northern Ireland and the East of England. In these areas, 20% still live at home. The sharpest increase in the last 20 years has been in the East, South West, North West, and South East. Ethnicity matters too. 41% of young people from Bangladeshi backgrounds live with their parents. In contrast, co-residency is least common among Chinese families.

But the biggest factor of all? Money. Nearly half of young adults in the lowest income bracket are still at home, compared to just 2% of the wealthiest. The rich aren’t just helping their kids stay at home comfortably. They’re also actively funding their departure, whether through rent subsidies or gifted deposits. Meanwhile, for those without financial backing, staying put isn’t a strategy—it’s a necessity. For the 32% of unemployed young adults living with their parents, co-residence is more a reflection of economic insecurity than lifestyle choice.

It’s easy to dismiss this as a generation clinging to ‘kidulthood’—delaying responsibility, chasing the perfect job, or, as one Daily Mail headline sneered, doing it so they could afford ten holidays a year and designer handbags. But the reality is far starker. Most strikingly, the proportion of 25- to 34-year-olds with a long-term health condition has nearly doubled in two decades, rising from 17% to 31%. Remarkably, half of this increase happened since 2020. Many young adults living at home aren’t lounging around—they’re trapped. Some are burdened with illness. Others are balancing insecure work with unpaid caregiving. Many are unemployed with no hope of training. While others are caught in the squeeze of rising rents, stagnant wages, and the ever-growing price of homeownership. The state may pay benefits, but parents bear the real financial and emotional burden. They not only house their adult children but often care for them as well.

And what about those parents? The number of midlife adults hosting their grown-up children peaks in the early 50s. Some benefit from the extra company or household help, but many find it an unexpected financial burden derailing retirement plans. This phenomenon is impacting Gen X now much more than it did Baby Boomers for two reasons: they aren’t as rich and everything is more expensive from student accommodation to a pint of milk. But research from the IFS suggests most parents aren’t charging their adult children rent, despite the additional costs—a complete reversal from the days when ‘housekeeping money’ was expected. A University of Southampton study found only a third of graduates who returned home contributed to household expenses. Once, children were an economic asset—now, they’re often a financial strain.

Living with your parents well into adulthood might still carry a stigma in dating and social circles, but it’s increasingly becoming a sign of the times. Independence is no longer a given; it’s a privilege, increasingly reserved for those with financial backing. And while the boomerang generation isn’t going anywhere soon, we need to stop treating it as a quirky middle-class indulgence and start recognising it for what it is—a symptom of widening economic and social inequalities.

Inheritocracy

Nice to see my feature on London’s Inheritocracy in last week’s Evening Standard where I tackle the impact of the Bank of Mum and Dad and its consequences for the cultural, class and professional life of the City.

‘The capital has always been a class melting pot, where the best culture rises to the top — be it punk and grime, Zadie Smith or Mike Leigh. As the inheritocracy reaches maturity, we’ll be left with trust fund creatives and well-connected nepo baby mediocrity — with London at risk of losing its place as the world’s focal point of emerging culture.’

The Economist leader this week. Yep, we live in an economy where you are more likely to gain a home by being loyal to your PARENTS than your BOSS...... Gen Z entered adulthood knowing this. Midlife Millennials are still waking up to the reality. So let's stop the generational bashing that Gen Z don't want to work hard, or are only interested in side hustles, or Crypto. The fact is work doesn’t pay in the same way it did for our parents.

In other news, for those without the Bank of Mum and Dad, no fear, Studio Lambert (those behind The Traitors) and Channel 4 have a plan to rectify that. Named The Inheritance, the programme invites 12 strangers to an English country mansion to fight it out for a pot of cash, left behind by a figure aptly known as “The Deceased.” Studio Lambert described it as “part Knives Out, part Succession.”

The Reading Room

1. This report came out a while ago but still makes for fascinating reading. According to the Spotify Gen Z report, live is back….nearly half of Gen Zs have attended an in-person listening party for a new album or song. And also for podcasts, too, 37% of Gen Z have attended a live show or recording, and 36% have attended an in-person watch party for a new video podcast. In the first five months of 2024, Gen Z watched 2.9 billion minutes of video podcasts. That’s a 58% increase compared to last year. And remember where Gen Z goes, culture tends to follow. Besides pop culture podcasts, religion & spirituality is one of the fastest-growing categories, as are history and politics. Forget brat summer, how about swot spring?
2. If you have the time or inclination, listen to Gen Z’s biggest cultural icon, Mr Beast, on Steven Bartlett’s podcast. What fascinated me was how his drive to become a YouTuber stemmed from his parents’ bankruptcy in the 2008 crash. He saw YouTube as a path to financial security, a classic Gen Z self-starter mindset. What stood out even more was how utterly burned out he sounds, not from excess but from relentless toil. Unlike past cultural icons—Boomers who rebelled through drugs, Gen X/MTV generation who self-destructed in disillusionment, or Millennials like Britney who cracked under media pressure—MrBeast’s burnout isn’t about losing control but about having too much of it. His success is less about artistry or rebellion and more about mastering an algorithmic game, a shift in celebrity culture that frankly feels depressing and definitely a sign of the times.
3. British Gen Z think internet access is a basic human right. Should we be surprised about this? According to a recent study, 82% of British 18-28-year-olds believe that being able to be online at all times is as important as access to clean water and sanitation. The research also reveals a huge generation gap: only 52% of older generations believe it is a right, a -30pt difference from Gen Z.
4. Do the economics of AI add up? We know how energy-intensive running Gen AI is, but what about the economics? This scathing piece by Ed Zitron cuts no punches. I’m not even going to pretend to have an opinion on the economics of AI but thought it was an interesting counter to all the hype.

‘OpenAI Spent $9 Billion to make $4 billion In 2024….. It doesn’t just cost more to run OpenAI than it makes — it costs the company a billion dollars more than the entirety of its revenue to run the software it sells before any other costs.’

We’re Hiring (again)!

Data Storytelling and Visualisation Freelancer

Download the role description (PDF) for the full details

?? Type: Freelance contract (Flexible Hours)

?? Location: Remote (UK-based)

?? Time Commitment: At least 5 hours per week

?? Compensation: Negotiable - please send us your hourly rate

?? Closing Date: Applications will be reviewed on a rolling basis until we find the ideal candidate

?? Quick Description: We’re looking for a Data Storytelling & Visualisation Freelancer to transform complex socio-economic data into visually compelling narratives for presentations, speeches, and digital content.

?? Requirements: We’re seeking someone who has expertise in sourcing and analysing global data, proficiency in visual design tools and a strong eye for detail.

?? A Master’s degree or PhD (or working towards one) in statistics, data science, economics, sociology, or a related field is preferred.

For full details and the application click here.

Thanks for reading,

Eliza