Why Do I Cry Now More Than Ever?

Someone who read my last post was kind enough to send a personal message saying thanks for making them feel 'normal' about how they were feeling during the current situation that we find ourselves in with covid-19.

They also said that they found themselves crying a lot, something that was unusual for them. Immediately I thought about what that person had said, how foreign it was for them to cry. I found that sad, we should all be able to cry whenever we feel the need to.

The person who sent me the message was a man, a real man, a tough man, one who is always there for others, one who had to always be the strongest, one who others looked to for strength.

I get it that we need to have strength in times when strength is needed, but this is not one of those times. We don't need you to be strong all of the time, we need you to be human. We need you to show all of the emotions that we as humans are meant to show - sadness and happiness, courage and fear, insecurity and confidence, fragility and strength - because it is important for each of us to do so.

It is important in times of uncertainty that others see us as having the same emotions so that we can relate to what each other is feeling, because we are all feeling the same things. Who amongst us has never felt afraid, fragile, or sad in the last few weeks. These so called 'negative' emotions.

It is important to not only feel negative emotions in times of uncertainty, it is important to show them. A negative emotion that is shared is halved, a negative emotion that is shared is disarmed, a negative emotion that is shared is dissolved.

There is no such thing as a 'negative' emotion currently, emotions are emotions, one is just as important as the next. Remember that negative emotions are designed to keep us safe from harm, to make us alert and aware, to make us human.

When we see someone who look afraid, who appear fragile, or who cry, validates how we ourselves are also feeling. It makes us feel less alienated, it shows that we are all in the same situation, that we are part of the wider world, it brings us closer together, it shows us that we are all connected, that we are human.

However, it is more important not to dwell on negative emotions. By all means feel them, express them, talk about them, then move on from them by doing something that introduces the opposite emotion.

Finally, don't target others with your negative emotion for it is your emotion at that particular time, not theirs.

Let's talk!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Lance, a former police crisis negotiator and personnel development manager, now provides enhanced communication, safety management, and personal resilience support to businesses across all industries; https://www.warninternational.com/ 

Lance is the author of Behind The Tape - https://www.amazon.com/Behind-Tape-Gripping-real-life-negotiator-ebook/dp/B01EH172QC and has created a series of eLearning courses - https://elearning.warninternational.com/