Why do executives feel attacked at work?

Why do executives feel attacked at work? In the corporate world, a lot of people take things personally when someone “crosses a line”.?

That could be undermining you in a meeting or taking credit for your hard work. There are 101 ways in which someone can cross the line at work.?But is that line a real thing or is it a figment of your insecurities? Here’s why taking things personally is harmful to you. Most of the time, you think the offender knows about your insecurity or feelings of hurt when crossing the line, but they don’t.

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I meet a lot of executives who internalize their feelings without communicating them. It’s hard for people to read your mind unless you merge your internal reality with your external reality.?By external reality, I mean the present reality of the relationship, interaction, and immediate environment as opposed to your internal feelings and thoughts. The reality would include the exact conversation, the presentation of the other person, and the immediate physical setting.?

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These are not the same as what might be happening inside of you emotionally, your “internal reality.” It feels personal because you emotionally relive some troublesome feelings constantly experienced in the past.?These feelings have nothing to do with the present external reality. For example, if you have been controlled by your parents a lot and someone asks you to do something, your reactive response might be, “Who are you to order me around or control me??

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You begin to experience all the previous resentment about being controlled?by your parents in the past.?At that point, you have completely left the “external reality” and regressed into your unresolved emotional conflicts about control.?But you may not be aware.

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The science of psychology proves people try to avoid feelings of discomfort by keeping them out of awareness.?When your unresolved emotional conflicts enter the picture, your interpretation of reality is no longer based on any objective observation. You are confusing internal conflicts with your external environment.?

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This is a huge price people without integrity pay. The thing that most commonly interferes with your ability to stay in and perceive reality is the tendency to take things personally.?Once you develop the skills to live with personal integrity, you can avoid these automatic responses and stay in reality.

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It’s as simple as being honest about what you are thinking, feeling, and experiencing.

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