Why Diversity and Inclusion is so important to me...

For those of you who know me personally, you will know of some the challenges this amazing young woman has faced in her mere 17 years, and for those of you that don’t know me, well you will soon understand (if you can stomach the long and ?“personal post” that is!).

Molly was only 1 when I realised something was different. As we all do as parents, we compare our children to others, you know that little (unhealthy) competitive streak of whose child is eating a ?more varied diet, whose child is saying more words, whose child is walking furthest, while always secretly hoping our child is the better developed (all you parents out there, don’t try and deny it, you know you did this too!!). Well for me, it was while being very smug that Molly would eat anything put in front of her and would chat endlessly, that I realised her mobility was not comparable to others, she wasn’t walking or jumping and her attempts to stand often led to cry’s of discomfort. As a parent you automatically worry, but then try and establish some semblance of rationality, I mean all children develop differently don’t they?

Molly was 3 when after a few battles with healthcare professionals, we finally got referred and she received her diagnosis of Multiple Epiphyseal Dysplasia; a rare degenerative genetic condition that affects the development of the growth plates at the end of the bones. The condition is rarely diagnosed in children as symptoms tend not to present until later in life, so being diagnosed so young, we knew that we had a difficult journey ahead of us.

While other children were racing around the school ground and my friends were tearing their hair out with their children running off constantly and refusing to sit still, Molly would just insist on being carried or being in the pushchair, long after she should have outgrown those things. She was in pain constantly, waking up at nights, unable to sit or stand for any period of time; as a parent it was heartbreaking to watch, but more so it was, by the age of 6, becoming very apparent to Molly that she was “different”. By the age of 7 Molly was unable to walk without crutches, the bones had already started deforming and degrading, by the age of 8 Molly was permanently in a wheelchair and our home was filled with every mobility aid imaginable.

The frequency of our hospital visits increased significantly at this point and every X-Ray showed frighteningly increased deformation of the bones where the joints were grinding themselves away. Molly was living in constant pain, unable to do normal things for herself, from getting dressed, to getting into the shower, she had no independence. Molly’s mental health started to significantly decline, friends that were once loyal companions got tired of the wheelchair bound child, public places created severe anxiety and once Molly started Senior school things got even worse. The bullying? that Molly suffered at senior school was something that with 20 years of experience in Human Resources, even I was shocked by; the level of cruelty that can be targeted towards a disabled child was mind boggling to me. The bullying led to self-harming and 2 serious episodes of suicide ideation, one resulting in a psychiatric evaluation; things I never expected from my beautiful, funny, kind little girl. There was no support, CAMHS were useless, doctors offered no assistance and we were lost as a family to how we could help Molly.

In 2019, we finally got the news that Molly, at the age of 12, would undergo hip replacement surgery, this was wonderful news as it would give some relief to Molly and would be the start of the journey to regaining a level of mobility. As you all know in 2020 Covid 19 hit, and with that operations were delayed. It was an agonising wait to July 2021 before Molly would eventually undergo her first hip replacement, at the ripe old age of 13 just a few weeks before her 14th birthday. Following the recovery Molly entered year 10 of senior school on crutches rather than in a wheelchair, something that was an exceptionally proud achievement for her.

School didn’t really improve however, the bullying continued as did the decline of her mental health, the pain was still a daily problem and the medication was increasing; the only thing Molly was at this point living for was the next hip replacement and the dream of walking into her Year 11 Prom. In 2022 we got the date for the next hip replacement and January 2023 couldn’t come soon enough.

In January 2023, just 5 months before her GCSE exams and at 15 years of age, Molly had her second hip replacement; making her the youngest child to have undergone two hip replacements in the hospital (and to the best of our knowledge one of the youngest people ever in the country). Molly walked out of the hospital 2 days later on crutches with a refreshed outlook on life. While mobility is something Molly will struggle with her entire life, and she will face many future surgeries, this felt like the start of a new chapter. Just five days later however Molly was rushed back into hospital with what turned out to be multiple pulmonary embolisms. Of all the issues faced, this one was by far the most frightening, the hospital had never had a child with this post operative condition, they spent hours (which felt like days!) conferencing with other hospitals and specialists to try and understand the right course of action. Thankfully Molly eventually received the appropriate treatment and was back home 3 days later to continue on her recovery. This incident led to a year long investigation by the hospital into the manner in which children are discharged post-surgery and has thankfully resulted in a change to hospital process moving forward, so I sincerely hope no other parent will have to go through this harrowing ordeal.

Roll on to June 2023, after months of physiotherapy to re-build muscles that hadn’t been used for years and to develop bone density that had been lost and Molly did exactly what she set out to – she walked into her Prom; this was a moment I will personally cherish forever.

Molly’s disability will affect her for her full life, but for now at least, she is able to walk independently, has her pain under control , can lead an almost fully independent life and thanks to this her mental health has improved and her anxiety has reduced. She is an incredible young woman, one whom I am so unbelievably proud of.

I am lucky and grateful to have had the full support of Platinum Facilities during both of Molly’s operations and through some of her mental health crisis’s, the flexibility to work from home, from the hospital and anywhere else needed to ensure I could put my family first has been invaluable to me. As a Disability Confident Employer Platinum Facilities have showed understanding and empathy at all times when needed, and I am proud to be able to champion this status in the business, and ensure we exude our culture of inclusion.

While this is the longest post I have ever written, I believe wholeheartedly that by sharing our personal experiences we can help to end the stigmas around both mental health and disability, and ensure all people have equal access to support and employment – I know Molly will smash her A-Levels and go on to great things, but that can only be achieved with companies like Platinum seeing past perceived “problems” and looking purely for the right skills, and behaviours in their talent.