Why Direct, Real-time Feedback > Overly Polite Commentary
We are all works in progress. I often say – and strongly believe – that I am a leader in training. So how do we improve? For me, I greatly value and seek out feedback from my colleagues and peers inside and outside of Deloitte.
Over the years, their direct feedback helped me build more intentional and meaningful relationships with my teammates and is why I no longer strive to be indispensable, something I wrote about a few years ago. This experience inspired my latest Everyday Equation: Direct, real-time feedback > Overly polite commentary. What do I mean by this?
First, direct: Surrounding the feedback with so much banter and small talk can muddle the message and leave your team member feeling confused and unsure of what to do next. Second, real-time: All too often, people shrink from giving feedback in the moment. By delaying feedback, it becomes a much bigger deal than it should be. In my experience, real-time feedback is better as it creates context and makes it actionable.
For example, let’s say a team member didn’t “read the room” during an important presentation and missed a chance to have a more meaningful discussion. Reach out to them directly afterwards with, “Great job on going over the data findings, but during the presentation, you missed an important non-verbal cue from the client. Next time, make sure you pause to read the room.” You’ve now opened the door for your team member to become better at engaging the audience during a presentation.
Most fundamentally, direct, real-time feedback can help build more trust within your team and organization. One of the fastest ways trust can erode is when those honest and direct conversations break down, especially right now as meaningful connections can be harder to make. Being honest and open with your team can help. It’s the ability of a leader to say – not anxiously or nervously – here’s some things that we could do better and don’t let being too nice or polite get in the way.
Here’s more about why Direct, real-time feedback > Overly polite commentary:
Director, Enterprise Information Technology Solutions/ Air Force Veteran/ People Focused-Coach
4 年Great perspective
Economist at Retired
4 年Thanks, Dan. I write on leadership, from Melb. May I share this? My motto: The future of the world depends on compassionate and moral ideas and sentiments, without which all human endeavours would be futile. Ran my management consulting firm for 3 decades- retired, now full-time writer. May I humbly introduce this?book? THE GENTLE ART OF TAO LEADERSHIP-A 21ST CENTURY PERSPECTIVE,? out on 5th Nov 2020 with Simon & Schuster as worldwide distributor.? It's on ethics in business and ethical leadership.? The book complements Western literature on the subject and is the only book of its kind in terms of approach and content- it paraphrases 44 verses from the 81 in the immortal classic? Tao Te-Ching (600 BCE CLASSIC OF THE WAY & OF VIRTUE) by Lao-Tzu. The book is likely to attract much interest in view of paucity of such literature, especially in the West. Hope it interests you, your colleagues and your clients I am seeking translation into European languages. Wishing your Dept continued success sincerely Meng Lim, PhD econs, Paris,?
Dad | Husband | Ghostwriter/Ghostblogger | Area Facility Manager II @Fermilab
4 年Excellent rundown of the situation. I love equations, they help me visually see all the factors that go into a decision. Keep them coming.
Manager - SAP at Deloitte India (Offices of the US)
4 年An essential quality of a leader Dan. Awesome. Constructive feedback is the best leadership skill one can acquire.
???????? ESG - MBA Circular Economy
4 年Thank you for sharing it with us, Dan.