"Why Didn't You Ask For Help Sooner?"

"Why didn't you ask for help sooner?", she asked.

I was in the "hot seat" with a mentor of mine and in that moment the heat under my cauldron of shame shifted from medium high to broiling.

My brain started to freeze.

I felt small, scolded and definitely unsupported in that moment.

I had come to ask for help.

It brought me RIGHT BACK to first grade - and it's taken me a while to realize and understand what was triggered in that moment.

See in first grade I RAISED MY HAND.

I RAISED MY HAND BEFORE I WAS IN CRISIS.

I RAISED MY HAND JUST LIKE I WAS TRAINED TO DO.

I RAISED MY HAND TO ASK TO GO TO THE BATHROOM.....

And the teacher?

Well I bet you can guess what she did.

Refused. My. Request.

There are consequences to that of course, not the least of which was I ultimately ended up peeing in my seat. In my little pink dress, through my little pink tights.

This led to further humiliation as I was promptly marched right up to the front of the classroom and placed in the corner to be "made an example" to my classmates.

There were much LONGER term ramifications to this little trauma experience though...not the least of which was the creation of a repeating pattern of "holding it all in" until the breaking point.

This pattern showed up in my intimate relationships.

This pattern showed up in my parenting.

This pattern showed up in my business operations.

This pattern showed up in my money management.

This pattern showed up in my friendships.

It showed up EVERYWHERE and I've been radically investing to remove it at the core for YEARS.

I mean let's be real - we live in a culture that HIGHLY VALUES the archetype of the "rugged individual", the "self reliant", the legendary "solo adventurer", the leader who projects the appearance that "I and I alone have the answers" (hell we ended up with that in the White House for four years).

We also live in a time where the level of complexity has accelerated to warp speed and the invitation to collaboration has increased exponentially.

Really no one does "success" in business or in life all alone. Really teamwork does make the dream work. Especially if you are a visionary leader.

Visionary leaders often have the HARDEST time asking for help (not necessarily because they peed their pants in first grade) because they are quite literally attempting to bring into reality the unmanifest, the intangible.

I mean how can you ask for help when you don't even fully know how to articulate exactly what it is that you are seeing?

How can you ask for help when you don't exactly know what would even be helpful to get this vision to come fully into life?

That's why it's more important then ever to recognize it's NOT about getting, nor about having, the answers. It's no longer about the "right answers" at all.

Moving forward from here - if you are a visionary leader - it's about breaking down the old conditioning, patterns, beliefs, behaviors and reactions that were indoctrinated into you that keep you in a space of believing that you have to "go it alone".

It's also about EXERCISING YOUR ASKING MUSCLE. Even if you don't know exactly what to ask! Even if you don't know whether you've waited "too long". Even if you don't know whether you are asking the right person.

Ask For Help.

And then do it again, and again, and again, and again.

Trust that as you increase in your capacity to ask for help, the more you do it the more you will be able to increase the ease with which you can steer your entrepreneurShip and your leaderShip into calmer, clearer, more conducive to converting prospects into clients, clients into cashflow waters.

So today I'm inviting you to know that if you RAISE YOUR HAND - you WILL get what you need - it may not look like what you thought it would, it may not fit exactly into your own personal projection of help that is helpful, it may not line up with "your way" (which probably isn't working well anyway otherwise you wouldn't be reaching for support).

I assure you though that it will be your Visionary Spirit's HIGHEST level of help that you can access now to advance the plan for bringing the seeds of innovation you came to plant into the most enriching soil to support their fullest manifestation.

Raise YOUR Hand if you'd like to become even more adept at asking for help to support you in the adventure of being and becoming the legendary leader you were born to be.

I'm thinking of creating something that will spotlight (and HELP) you and your great work - so if this resonates, raise your hand now!