Why did Bidzina Ivanishvili decide to declare war on the United States?

Dear friends, I have hesitated a lot before making this top-secret information public. However, I believe that the Georgians have the right to know why Mr. Ivanishvili changed his political course by 180 degrees and declared war on the United States.

I got my information from a trusted spy who was planted by the Freemasons as a carrot juice boy at Mr. Ivanishvili's residence. This spy was a double agent for both the Freemasons and the Illuminati.

The story started in July 2021 when Mr. Ivanishvili called his closest team members from the Georgian Dream to attend an urgent meeting at his Glass Palace in Tbilisi.

The attendees of the meeting from the Georgian Dream were Irakli Garibashvili (Prime Minister), Irakli Kobakhidze (Chairman of the Georgian Dream), Mamuka Mdinaradze (Chairman of the Georgian Dream Parliamentary Faction), Gia Volski (First Deputy Speaker of the Parliament), Shalva Papuashvili (Member of Parliament) and Kakha Kaladze (Mayor of Tbilisi and Secretary General of the Georgian Dream).

In addition to the political attendees, the meeting was also attended by Mr. Ivanishvili's wife Mrs. Ekaterine Khvedelidze, their son Tsotsne, and via Zoom, their 3 other children, Bera, Gvantsa and Uta.

I will report the exact transcript of the meeting as per the recording device that was planted by the spy behind the carrot juice machine.

(Bidzina): Dear friends and family, thank you for attending this meeting on such short notice, but we have found a way to save Georgia. Yesterday, just after my yoga session and while I was waiting for my carrot juice to arrive, my son Tsotsne came to the yoga room all excited and told me:

(Tsotsne): Mr. Father, I apologize for intruding on you so abruptly without scheduling a meeting, and most importantly for disrupting your routine and talking to you before drinking your carrot juice, but I have found a way to save Georgia and its economy and make it prosper, at par with Germany and Japan.

(Bidzina): Friends, some of you might think at first glance that Tsotsne is not very smart, but he is extremely cultured and very interested in history; as a matter fact, he discovered that Christopher Columbus was not the one to discover America, it was Genghis Khan who discovered America; Columbus discovered Mongolia and thought that it was America! Tsotsne wrote a detailed letter about that to the Royal Historical Society in London, who were very impressed and are currently reviewing their facts.

Tsotsne told me: Mr. Father, as you may know, the economic situation in Georgia is disastrous. In the 9 years that our party has been ruling, the nominal GDP is still lower than in 2012 when Saakashvili was in power; the situation has worsened because of COVID; in addition, scores of Georgians are leaving the country to find work in Europe and in the United States. Poverty is rampant, and Georgia is backsliding at all levels. If we don't find the right solution, you will be out of power in 2024.

(Bidzina): What is the solution, Tsotsne, I said?

(Tsotsne): Mr. Father, the United States has been involved in several major wars over the past century, including World War II, the Korean War, and the Iraq War. After winning these wars, the United States provided significant financial and military assistance to help rebuild the affected countries. After World War II, the United States launched the Marshall Plan in 1948 to help rebuild Europe, including Germany and other European countries. Over the course of four years, the United States provided over $13 billion (approximately $130 billion in today's dollars) to help rebuild the European economies and infrastructures.

In Japan, the United States instituted the Occupation of Japan (1945-1952) to rebuild the country after its defeat in World War II. During this period, the United States provided significant financial and logistical support to help rebuild Japan's economy and infrastructure. The United States provided billions of dollars in aid to Japan during this period.

After the Korean War (1950-1953), the United States provided a significant amount of aid to South Korea to help rebuild its economy and infrastructure. Estimates suggest that the United States provided over $2 billion (approximately $20 billion in today's dollars) in aid to South Korea between 1953 and 1970.

After the Persian Gulf War (1990-1991) and the Iraq War (2003-2011), the United States provided significant aid to help rebuild Iraq's infrastructure and economy. Estimates suggest that the United States spent over $60 billion on rebuilding efforts in Iraq between 2003 and 2013.

(Bidzina): I interrupted Tsotsne and told him, don't waste my time with details that are of no interest to me, what is the solution?

And Tsotsne came with the greatest genius idea that any human being can come up with; and he told me: Mr. Father, declare war on the United States, they will defeat you and crush Georgia, and after that, they will rebuild the country and spend tens of billions of Dollars, so we will become as prosperous as Japan and Germany.

Honestly, I was speechless after realizing how intelligent my son is! So, ladies and gentlemen, our plan is to declare war on the United States and...

(Mamuka Mdinaradze): Mr. Bidzina, I am very sorry to interrupt you, but can we increase the temperature of the room a little bit? My feet are freezing, I am not wearing socks!

(Bidzina): You imbecile, who wears shoes without socks? You think that by wearing shoes without socks, you will look like Kaladze? We will not increase the temperature, let it be a lesson for you.

(Bidzina): Let me continue, so the plan is to declare war on the United States, and wait for them to attack and destroy us. Now as always, and in the spirit of democracy, I will ask each one of you for your opinion on what would be the most serious results if we declare war on the United States; let us start with Irakli.

(Irakli Kobakhidze): Mr. Bidzina, as always you and your family have amazing ideas, no one in the history of humanity could have come up with a smarter plan; my only concern is that if we declare war on the United States, they will slap sanctions on us, that will result in being unable to import anti-dandruff, Head and Shoulders shampoo, that is manufactured by the American company Procter and Gamble, and if this happens, my head will be scratching all the time.

(Gia Volski): It is an amazing idea Mr. Bidzina, but I do also share the concerns of Irakli, you know, the best medicine for prostate is manufactured by the American company Merck, and if we will be under sanctions, this will greatly affect the elderly voters in Georgia.

(Irakli Garibashvili): Mr. Bidzina, we are so lucky to have you and your family ruling the country, and I am grateful to you for having appointed me a second time as Prime Minister despite being corrupt; my only concern is that if we are in a state of war with the United States, and until they defeat us and rebuild us, businesses will be dead in the country, and there will be nothing left for me and for my father to steal!

(Kakha Kaladze): Mr. Bidzina, you know that I always tell you the truth, unlike those boot-lickers here; I think that declaring war on the United States is a huge mistake and a terrible risk for Georgia!

(Bidzina): Why risk, Kakha?

(Kakha): Did anyone of you think for a second, in what kind of deep mess we will be if we win this war?

(Shalva Papuashvili): Shut up you imbecile, how can Georgia win the war against the United States? Every time you open your mouth you say a stupidity.

(Bidzina): You are right Shalva; he is a total imbecile! I will appoint you as the Speaker of the Parliament at the end of this year.

Team members, your concerns have been duly noted and Eka will think of the solution to address them properly; the family has decided yesterday to declare war on the United States, and I thank you all for your unconditional support.

Ucha (Mamatsashvili) will transfer five million Dollars today to each one of your personal accounts as compensation for the hardship that you will endure while the United States will be destroying us.

And now, I want all of you to applaud Tsotsne, and to respectfully kiss his hand, for saving Georgia and keeping us in power.

Very loud applause in the room and a standing ovation.

Friends, keep smiling, Georgia will prevail....

I am starting a new political party called "Humour Will Save Georgia".

Fady Asly May 23, 2024