Why Couldn’t I Have Seen This!

I have a deep sense of gratitude for the humility and the love from the person who introduced me to Arbinger Institute's Leadership and Self-Deception and the curators, facilitators, and practitioners of this work. Arbinger has brilliantly developed the "Outward Mindset" as a leadership framework to teach Humanistic Psychology (the foundation of my graduate studies in Mind-Body Medicine) and the ethical practices of being human. Arbinger’s work's scientific underpinnings are synchronist with human virtues, the Four Noble Truths, and the Noble Eightfold Path to end suffering and reach enlightenment – the heart of the Buddha's teachings. All of which align with my worldview and personal philosophy.?

"In the last chapter of reading Leadership & Self-Deception, I realized that I have been “In the box” toward my father for as long as I can remember. A father/son example shook me so much that I had an enormous emotional release of what I had been resisting for such a long time."

Outward Mindset, What is that?

As a leadership framework, the "Outward Mindset" invites us to face our resistance and get out of our way. For example, we see how complete mindset shifts lead to embodying the practices of empathy, love, acceptance, and honor in all relationships. The sacredness in every situation can lead to a happier life, better relationships, improved services, and business outcomes achieved. The science-based approach to practicing leadership results in individual and organizational transformation, evident by the mindset changes that precede conflict resolution (intrapersonal/interpersonal). Conflict resolution invites engagement at the personal level to objectively obtain an aligned understanding of implicit and explicit meanings behind expectations. All this work is critical to improving each dimension of the ecosystem of the society, culture, and organizational systems of which we are all apart.??

The Strength of Resistance

I realized that I saw my dad as a Marine Corps Vietnam Combat Veteran with PTSD. I resisted seeing my father through all the hard work to heal and return to a loving, kind man who dedicated his life to service. And remember as a young boy how so many people admired him - family, friends, community, work for his dedication, honor, accountability, and humility to be of love and service. I called him in tears to tell him how much I loved him and that I was sorry that I had never told him this before, yet I now see very clearly how much of a positive influence he had been on my life. He didn’t influence me by giving me the answers or words but by showing me by example.?I gritted my teeth in anticipation of no response, but one came. Son, thank you very much for sharing this with me and seeing me as I am today; I love you very much!

Resistance x 2 =

After the phone conversation with my father, I received a text from my partner with a photo of her event booth and the project logo that represented her life’s work. I had seen these images before, but this time through a new perspective, I saw how I had been in the box - with her. I sent her this text in response to the image. Wow, so beautiful and engaging... I'm feeling drawn in. Can I sign up? Get ready. The girls are going to love it! I know things have been hard, yet if there's is anyone who could ever do this and make it all happen, that person is you.

Perseverance is your first name;

you got this!

“Girls Invest” is you. It's the story of your life and whom you've become through the struggles, difficulties, and all the hard work it took for you to heal the little girl inside you. It's the journey of your metamorphosis into an incredible woman who transformed her suffering into a beautiful gift to share with the world and give girls another chance at life, to guide and teach them the necessary steps and all the tools to be successful. There's no stopping you now from all the excitement, momentum, and partnerships you've created. From opening your heart, you've shared your soul through all this - what you've learned along the way. It's impressive to see you stepping into your power. You allow the full potential of who you are to shine through this incredible platform you've created and are sharing to elevate girls as future leaders of our society. I'm so sorry that I could not articulate this to you until now. I love you! An in-person conversation followed with shared affection.

?Get Out of That Box!

For me, the key takeaways I learned from Leadership and Self-Deception are: ?

1. How to look at "problems" with non-judgment, uncover growth opportunities, and enrich my development and that of other people.
2. Box = Self-Deception - Metaphor for how one resists other peoples’ needs/wants/requests.?
3. Self-betrayal = Actively resisting what the humanity of others is calling for.?
4. Actively resisting = Focus on self-deceiving/defeating actions, inherent biases, seeing people as resources to be used up/ obstructions/obstacles to overcome/workaround.?
5. Self-defeating actions further obstruct seeing and accepting people as they are.?
6. One frees themselves from self-deception (Self-Deception) by:
7. Ceasing to resist listening/hearing /responding to/ seeing people and their needs/wants/requests.?
8. We are shifting the focus from self to service rather than solely on one's agenda/objective.
9. I am letting go of holding on to outcomes.
10. We are liberated from self-justifying thoughts and feelings, false expectations, and self-induced disappointments/disagreements.? ?

Witnessing Awareness

Now I sit aware of the journey that I was in the box for not witnessing the struggles and the suffering both my father and my partner had gone through to become the people they are today. I was so afraid to see the people I love experience so much suffering, yet in doing that, I selfishly did not see the triumphs from their life journey and the gifts they earned and shared with others.?

To be seen as a selfish monster is my biggest fear (Psychological Shadow)!

The benefit of tapping into the energy of the greedy monster is to create the dream I want to live fearlessly. To do that means I will practice certainty. I will regularly add kindle to expand the fire within my heart in honor of my unwavering commitment to my chosen path (my soul's journey) to see people as they are without judgment to that I may experience the gift of their presence.

Show Me A Sign

Signs are everywhere, yet often, we’re unaware of them because our resistance blinds us. So what does the rest of 2022 look like for me now as I recognize Leadership & Self-Deception as a signpost along my journey, affirming that I have crossed some threshold onto a different path – the right path, perhaps? To continue to witness the signs as I trust myself and deal and heal with my Psychological shadows, I see my emergence into the becoming of the future self I once wished I already was. It is to practice non-judgment, trust, stillness, and getting out of my way. It requires my total commitment to my spiritual practice, attention to what is most important to align with the vocation that brings me joy and happiness for my service to humanity, and enormous gratitude for this beautiful life we are gifted. My vocation is service toward passing on something that improves the well-being of society. To transcend ego/self in devotion to the coexistence of harmony between humanity and the natural world.?

? What Is Emerging??

What is emerging for me is making me conscious of the importance of all systems we are entranced within. The matter is that I am involved in designing healthy pathways for myself, the people I work I encounter and work with, my clients, organizations, the workforce, and the natural world to thrive simultaneously. And to use my creativity to deliver frameworks for Healthy Workplace Transformation to influence the betterment of society. I wish for no more wars, no more false realities. I want to touch all of humanity, and I aim to positively impact the world economy for all global citizens to thrive. The point of the interface for me is that I am spiritually motivated to improve the health of humanity through the way we work while sustaining the health of our planet. The answer to how this will happen is that I am leaving all perceptions open to discover what this journey may look like in its next iteration – when we embody the knowledge of seeing a person for who they indeed are is seeing God / Creator in the eyes of every person/being.

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About Me:

Daniel is a Spiritual Healer with 20+ years of extensive experience working in business, healthcare, and technology, to facilitate the healing of individuals, groups, teams, organizations, and systems. Specialties:?Inner child work, reclaiming life purpose, and transitions.

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