WHY CORAL BEADS ARE CALLED 'KILALI'

THE CHRONICLES OF JOHN IJAW PART 2

WHY CORAL BEADS ARE CALLED ‘KILALI’

When my paternal grandfather died, there was a huge party that went on for seven days. He was well over seventy, so that was the tradition. The family was on show; it cost an arm and a leg, but it was expected by all that his life would be celebrated in that way. It would have been an eternal disgrace, especially to my father, his first born son, had he not risen to the occasion and done the needful. As we, the grandchildren were being dressed and adorned for the last day of the ceremonies, which included a courtesy walk about the town and then revelries in the town square, a trunk box of corals was brought out and the huge and heavy beads were deposited around our necks and hands and ankles. I was dreading this; I had worn some on several occasions therefore I knew they were heavy. As I stumbled around like a clown trying to get my centre of gravity back, I saw John the boatswain giggling in a corner, pretending to be attending to my granduncle. I scowled at him angrily, but he only giggled more and said something which made my granduncle smile as he looked at me.

While we were on the courtesy walk about, I was with some of my cousins. John came up to us and greeted us the traditional greetings for this type of occasion smiling sarcastically. I threatened to take off the beads and throw them away, but stopped when I saw his horrified expression. “Don’t try it!” he admonished. “It will bring you bad luck if you disrespect coral, don’t you know it is an elder?” He saw our confused expressions so he drew us aside and told us the story of the coral bead or ‘kilali’ as we call it in Kalabari.

“In this our island Abonnema, there was once a girl called Kilali. The day she was born, it was raining and the sun was shining, you know that that is the sign that something great is happening. That is why when such a day happens, our people say “a lion is being born.” Kilali was beautiful, she was dutiful and she was well behaved. She was the perfect daughter, sister and girl. Everyone wanted a daughter like Kilali. Her mother knew she was a special child so she spent extra time with her teaching her everything to make her future great. Nothing was spared when it came to Kilali, the best dancers were the ones who taught her to dance, the best cooks were the ones who taught her to cook. She learnt the wisdom of women from the wisest women in the town. So when it was time for her to marry, there was a great struggle in the town. Families argued between themselves because they all wanted their sons to marry her. Every family wanted to be considered as a potential suitor. They knew that whoever married Kilali would be very fortunate, because she had been born under a great star. Also, her father was so wealthy and so influential that just being near him was considered a great gift.

Unfortunately, Kilali was very picky, or so it seemed. She rejected everybody that approached her. Even her mother tried so many times to convince her one way or the other, but she would not budge. They tempted her with a huge dowry, but she refused. They tempted her with injiri (George wrappers) of all types and styles, but she refused. They tempted her with so much silver and gold jewellery, but she was not persuaded. One family even went to the extent of making her the most beautiful canoe and paddles, but she stood her ground and rejected it. Nobody knew what she wanted so they all became desperate.

The problem grew so bad that the Amayanabo (King) had to get involved; the problem was tearing the village apart. So he devised a plan to eliminate the suitors to the point where they would be down to a manageable number, then set a test to get an eventual winner. Whoever that person was, no matter how ugly or obnoxious, Kilali would have to marry that person. They made her take an oath to that effect. So the old women were called to sing her genealogy so that they could eliminate all her relations by blood and by marriage from the suitors. Then there was a paddling contest and all the lazy men were eliminated. Then there was a wrestling contest and all the weak men were eliminated. Then there was a fishing contest and all those without patience were eliminated.

Meanwhile, Kilali kept it a secret that she had met a young man some time ago from the mainland who she fallen in love with. If she had said something, the Amayanabo would have called the whole thing off and allowed her to marry the man she loved. After all, it was not a crime to marry a man from the mainland and the oath only came into effect after the contests were over and a winner emerged. But she foolishly kept quiet. At last, the contest was down to just three men, one was blind, one was deaf and the last was mad. None were a good match, but she still did not say anything. At the end of the last contest, which was a masquerade contest, the mad man won, of course. The blind man could not see where he was going, so he fell and exposed himself; the deaf man could not hear the music, so he danced when there was no music and stood still when the music played. But the mad man danced well because you know, nobody dances better than someone who has lost his mind. He wore the mask of the shark and you know the shark is a cold hearted and deadly creature; it has no regard for anyone or anything. Now the oath came into effect as there was a winner.

When Kilali realized that it was a mad man that had won, and the town was going to force her into that marriage, she refused the choice and seeing that there was no way she could be happy with the mad man, she preferred to come under the punishment of the curse attached to the oath. The warriors carried her and put her into the biggest and strongest sipiri (war canoe) owned by the Amayanabo and paddled out to give her to the oracle since she had refused to obey and marry the mad man. She had planned with her lover that he would rescue her, but she didn’t know that he feared water and could not swim, so he would not be able to save her.  A strong wind rose with waves as high as the clouds that threw the sipiri this way and that. Finally the warriors threw her into the water before they capsized and when they did that the water became quiet. Kilali thought she could swim to the nearest island and live there peacefully, but before she got there, a shark came from nowhere and carried her off to his kingdom; it was the mad man that she had refused to marry. The place where the warriors threw her became an island with coral beads all over. That is why we call them kilali; nothing is more beautiful than the coral bead. They are beautiful like her, they are respected elders because they have been with us for long and they are hard to touch because Kilali’s fate was bad. You must never disrespect coral; it is dangerous to do that. Not everyone has the right to wear it. That is why we call it an elder.”

I thought a lot about Kilali for years after that. Life seemed so cruel to me growing up, it seemed like there were so many stories of punishment and destruction. What I realize now is that the history of mankind on earth is built on cruelty, destruction, suffering and war. Our languages, our geographical boundaries, our value systems, our culture and traditions all have copious amounts of infamy and suffering embedded within them. When we are dressed up and adorned, we should remember that it is a privilege to have good clothes and such things. What we should strive for is not material success and creature comforts only, but for a humanity that is built on service, love, charity, diligence, honesty, selflessness, grace and peace. This is what makes life worth living.