Why contradicting your manager is a cultural thing and how to go about it.

Contradicting your manager can get you extra points in some cultures and get you in deep trouble in others. Here you can learn a few ideas fro coaching on how to go about it.

“It is impossible!! I cannot do it…- said the senior project manager, feeling completely overwhelmed.

“But you must!!”- Answered the unit manager- “you must contradict me!!”

This happened during one of my intercultural workshops. The client had called me in to help with a German-Spanish team that was having significant problems with the quality of their deliverables.

What would you have done in this situation?

?Perhaps…

·??????try to?reducing scope,

·??????extending deadlines,

·??????scheduling more meetings,

·??????adding extra testing resources?

My client had tried all these and none of it had worked so far. Coaching were their last, and very desperate, attempt.

Cultural differences

During our preparation meetings, I had worked with both the Spanish sub-team and the German sub-team separately.

Now we were all together with senior management in a kick off workshop.

Once we started working on quality issues of the deliverables, we quickly realised what the problem was:

The German management team was producing requirements that the Spanish team was not able to deliver, despite their incredibly long working hours.

Two natural reactions from both sides highlight the different perspectives and frustrations:

“Why is the Spanish team not telling us that our requirements cannot be delivered?”- Was wondering the German management.

“Why is our management not appreciating the efforts we are making to deliver the next best thing to these clearly unachievable deliverables and very tight deadlines?”- was wondering the Spanish team.

It sounds like an insurmountable mismatch, doesn’t it? The impact I saw was the German management getting frustrated and could not understand the lack of quality. The Spanish team was getting frustrated at having their enormous efforts go unnoticed and their technical expertise questioned.

This was yet another clear example of how different cultures and their different value systems play a vital role in the functioning of a team. The best way, in my experience, to manage them is to address them as soon as possible to ensure a successful delivery.

Here are some tips:

Spaniards make everything possible

In the Spanish working culture, it is seen as a sign of engagement and commitment to do your best to deliver what your manager asks for. To tell your manager that what he is requesting is not realistic is perceived as lack of engagement and interest. You always do your utmost to meet client′s and manager′s expectations fully. It is also vital to preserve the relationship with the person and not make them lose face by pointing out that what they are requesting is not feasible or ever reasonable. A Spanish employee would be very reluctant to put their managers or clients in such an awkward position.

Germans gain standing by contradicting

In the German culture it is a sign of professionalism to analyse your client′s or manager′s request. Should the request be unrealistic, you do let them know in the clearest possible way. They may be your managers or your clients but you are the professional who can assess what is feasible and what is not. Here the facts are important. It is your duty as an expert to teach your manager or client about them.

And what did my client team learn from this

Now, back to our international team, once I highlighted these differences to them, the breakthrough came when the German Unit Manager asked the Spanish project manager to contradict him. The Unit manager explained that this would earn the Spanish employee more professional respect.

At the end of our workshop, the team had reached an agreement. Spanish people would clearly communicate to the German management when something was not feasible or wrong.

Change the mindset if you want to overcome cultural differences

Implementation of this type of agreements is always difficult because of how deeply ingrained cultural values and belief systems are in our behaviours. Once people get back to their normal environment and work becomes stressful, it is difficult to implement a new behaviour. Individuals automatically go back to the old way of acting when circumstances become challenging.

How intercultural coaching can help

A longer support and follow up is required to ensure a behavioural change, so the team also enlisted our help to keep their commitments.

Enlisting the help of a coach to support the team or individuals in their journey towards change is the best way to ensure that they stay on track and continue displaying the new behaviour.

Some coaching questions

to help implement a new behaviour in a challenging environment are:

·??????What are the triggers for the old and now undesired behaviour?

·??????How could you anticipate these triggers and prepare yourself to display the new behaviour when they happen?

·??????What would be the smallest step you could take to implement the new behaviour?

It is vital to keep in mind how different values and belief systems are in different cultures. Once you know about them, you can work to integrate them. It is then that the full power of your international team can be released.