Why Consulting is Hard, and I’ll STILL Never Go Back to Being an Employee

I wrote recently about my love affair with full-time consulting and entrepreneurship, which is admittedly in its honeymoon phase. I meant every word as I celebrated the freedom and advantages self-employment carries for someone like me. AND as I said at the end of that article, it’s not for everyone, and there are downsides. So, in keeping with my firm’s value of authenticity, here are my observations about what’s difficult about going out on your own, and some remedies I’ve found thus far:

Instability of income: I’ll start with the obvious, which is probably what keeps most people from even considering self-employment. Your income flow is only as consistent as the length of your contracts, and you have to secure new business well in advance of the expiration of your contracts, because you never really know if they will be renewed (or whether you want them to). This amounts to simultaneously doing paid contract work while working on business development. If you’re a solopreneur, it’s all on you.

Remedial measures:

1.?????Charge for your time. This may seem like it doesn’t need to be said, but I know from talking to many consultants, it does. If you’re not a consultant, you may be shocked at the amount of uncompensated time that is expected, requested and even demanded of consultants – especially problematic when we are talking about women, people of color, and others who are routinely exploited for labor -- in the name of “network-building,” and “business development.” You’re not an employee. There is no steady salary or automatic health insurance premiums or matched 401K deposits happening for you. Every minute you spend producing unpaid value for someone else is value your business is sacrificing. This is one of many reasons why I recently implemented a policy to charge for discovery calls by prospective clients who approach SCS about potential work.

2.?????Save money. Just because you’re getting deposits that are larger than any biweekly paycheck you’ve had as an employee, does NOT mean you have to go blow it all. Especially in the beginning, now is not the time to ball out. Assume there is winter coming, and put away a large nest egg if you can. Of course, this is not an accessible reality for many people; but again, if you can, do it.

3.?????Have faith. Yes, I did put this here. Whether you want to believe it or not, and whether you chalk it up to the body language you exude when you know what’s yours is for you, or a religious-based doctrine that tells you faith is key, it works. I’m not here to debate it. I just know from life experience that mindset matters. Reject this truth at your peril.

4.?????Wake up. Realize that there isn’t truly any long-term stability in income from employment. As many of us found out during the COVID-19 pandemic, your employer can cut your income out from underneath you with a moment’s notice (at least, in at-will employment states in the US). That “security” we are taught to value about the employer-employee relationship is generally a falsehood.

Overwork: this can flow from the last point; when you don’t know where your next contract is coming from, it is VERY hard to turn down paying work. Even if you’re at capacity. Even if you’re really not interested in the subject matter. I daresay, even if you don’t like the client (notwithstanding my assertion that entrepreneurship enables you to choose who you work with). Particularly if, like me, you come from a background of financial scarcity, this is really a challenge.

Remedial measures:

1.?????Plan capacity in advance. Take a realistic look at the time you want to spend working at any given moment, and don’t take on more work than that during that time span.

2.?????Stick to your boundaries: Tell prospective clients about your availability and lack thereof. If the client really wants to work with you, they can wait until your availability frees up, or agree to a truncated timeline to free you up for work you have committed to in the future. Remember, what’s for you is for you, and you don’t need to try to be superhuman and take on more than you realistically can manage out of fear of a missed opportunity.

3.?????Consider outsourcing: I have yet to do this in any significant way as my work tends to rely on my specific skills and network, but depending on your craft, this could be a great option. If you want to accept business, and have someone qualified to sub-contract with, it makes complete sense to do so. My only warning around this would be a. make sure you have a contract in place with the subcontractor to delineate terms and expectations and b. make sure you REALLY trust the person to do the job correctly and on time. It would be worse to take on a project and sub out to someone who does a shoddy job or can’t meet deadlines, than to pass on the project altogether, IMO. It would be unfair to a client that’s relying on your competency, and engender bad blood all around. ?Especially if you’re a woman and/or a member of the global majority, one stain on your reputation around client work could really hurt your business.

4.?????Prioritize and carefully manage your schedule. It’s ok to focus your attention on your paid work and delay discovery and networking calls. Be nice about it, be understanding when others do the same, be transparent and forthcoming that it’s a matter of capacity and not rejection, and follow up when you have more time. (Contrast this approach to the “I’m too important to deal with you” attitude referenced below in the Lack of Access section).

5.?????Consider billing by the hour! I did not want to do this at first, but have since realized that if I do not charge by the hour, I can end up doing WAY more than what I’m paid to do. It is easy to get lost in a project and get on a “roll,” but do yourself the service of honoring your value and only doing as much as you are paid to do (unless you consciously decide to provide uncompensated value to a client). You’re not a salaried employee anymore. With a generalized scope of work and flat rate, the amount of time committed to a project can get out of hand.

Administrative burdens: this sort of falls within the “overwork” camp, but deserves its own line. Get used to the idea that everything your former employer did, you now have to do. Find your health insurance plan, set up payroll (if applicable), strategic planning, etc. This is not a huge deal if you’re solo, but as your business gets more complex, it can be significant.

Remedial measures:

1.?????Outsource: this is much easier to outsource, if you can afford it. Even if a mistake is made, it most likely won’t impact the way your clients’ experience your work.

2.?????Install systems and processes. If you don’t have to think too much about recordkeeping, for example, because it’s a process you follow consistently, there is less brainwork and time involved.

3.?????Technology: I haven’t done this, but I know others who use software programs, apps, etc. that can help streamline administrative work.

Isolation: without a built-in work team, you may feel like you have no one to talk to about a challenging issue with your project, dealing with difficult people, brainstorming ideas to accelerate your impact, etc. If feelings of isolation go unchecked for too long, it can really break your confidence and lead you into a downward spiral where you question whether you can make it as an entrepreneur. It’s very important that you don’t allow this to happen! You’re not alone.

Remedial measures:

1.?????Rely on those you already have in your life. Your family, your friends, your place of worship, your neighbors; whoever it is that already serves as a support system for other issues can support you in your consulting journey, as well. Even if they don’t understand your business at all, you’d be surprised at how much applicable wisdom and perspective people can bring; one of my primary “consultants” is one of my best friends, who has been an employee at the same big company in a totally different industry for her whole career, and has no experience as an entrepreneur. She still always has relevant insight, because she’s wise and awesome and hence, my friend. Caveat: not all people. Please do not turn to perpetual pessimists or haters for this – they will make things worse. Go to the people who love you and themselves, and want and have the capacity to be genuinely helpful.

2.?????Intentionally join a community. Of course, not everyone has people in their lives they can rely on already. In this case, you need to build community. I’ve found tremendous moral and practical support in Katalyst’s Mastermind Group. Don’t be afraid to branch out; in fact, I’d argue you really need to, in order to sustain the optimism, energy and expansion that entrepreneurship demands. Pay what it costs, think of it as an investment, and show up. It’s worth it.

*Note: one great thing about pursuing remedial measures to combat isolation is you get to choose your support system. As an employee, you often do not get to choose your work team, so even though you might not be technically isolated, you can still feel very isolated, especially if you’re not part of the dominant culture and your team members are. In that case (and this is the case for me), you may actually feel less isolated as a solopreneur!

Invisibility: when you’re first starting out, you may feel invisible to the world at large. In some respects, you are. It takes time for people to know your business exists, to see what you do and stand for, to have developed a reputation that will draw clients and partners your way. And obviously, if no one knows you’re there, they can’t utilize your services!

Remedial measures:

1.?????Put yourself out there. This is probably the hardest aspect for a lot of people. Reaching out to people you don’t know. Asking people you do know to make introductions. Writing articles and asking for them to be published. Maybe paying for advertising. Even thinking about it can feel exhausting. But if you do it in a way that aligns with your flow, and don’t overly force yourself, it can actually become fun and lead you to expanding your support system (helping with isolation!)

2.?????That’s really it. No way around it. You have to put yourself out there.

Lack of access: this can flow very naturally from invisibility. If no one’s heard of you, it can be hard to get your work published in prominent media, to get a meeting with someone considered “important,” and to get yourself connected in a way that enables you to reach your goals.

Remedial measures:

1.?????Be a good person. I mean this. Answer people’s messages when they reach out for help. Look for opportunities to help others. Refer folks to opportunities. Compliment people on a job well done. Support people you follow on social media by backing them up when trolls come trolling. Put authentic, good energy out into the world. You’ll be surprised at how quickly it comes back.

2.?????Be excellent. Do a really good job for your clients. Clients are people, and they talk to other people. If you do a great job and you’re helpful and enjoyable to work with, there will come a point that they recommend, refer, and expand your network. All of these things add up to becoming less invisible, and gaining more access.

3.?????Give yourself time. While you’re being a good person and performing with excellence, try a little patience. (Sidenote: I am one of the LEAST patient people I know – hustle, grind, push and achieve was my mantra for decades, because it had to be. If I can exercise patience, so can you). Be consistent, celebrate milestones, and give yourself time to gain the credibility needed to open those access points.

4.?????Let go of doors that stay closed. I know some folks set their sights on specific access points; ie. “I want to get published in Forbes by Spring 2023.” I’m not saying there is something wrong with those sorts of hyper-specific goals, but a. you may be overlooking other opportunities that could lead someplace better and b. there could be a reason-you-will-never-know why that specific goal isn’t actually the right one for you. Yes, I’m back to faith here. Just as what is for you is for you, what’s not for you is not for you. I’m not saying don’t persevere, I’m just saying if Forbes has ignored you for months on end after approaching from a bunch of different angles, consider the fact that you’re really supposed to be in Time. Think of it like that ex-lover you wanted so bad you thought you’d die if you didn’t marry them…until you found your current partner whose fit for you made that ex-lover look like a disaster waiting to happen. Let go.

5.?????Similarly, let go of people who deny you access consistently. Unless you’re running for office, you don’t have to play this game to be successful. There are (unfortunately, many) people in the world who get drunk on power and only give attention or access to others they perceive as having power, or something to give them. These are the people who never answer your messages, who refuse to engage with you, or who treat you poorly/don’t follow through on promises until they view you as important, useful or a threat they need to ameliorate. Humility is an underrated value in our society, and I’ve come across many of these folks in my career. The ones who look over your head as they’re shaking your hand when they think you’re “nobody,” but plant their proverbial lips on your proverbial cheeks when they find out you’re “somebody” because of who you’re connected to, or some other poor measure of value. Let them go. Trust me, you’re better off.

Bullying: when you’re first starting out as an entrepreneur, you may not have much clout. Particularly if you come from an employment background where your work was obscured and you didn’t have a chance to become a “big name” in your field, people who think, act, and treat people according to a. what they can get away with and b. an assessment of who has power, may consider you vulnerable. Don’t be surprised if these people are quick to dismiss you, devalue your contributions, take credit for your work, try to force you into doing things inconsistent with your values, blame you for things that go wrong, exert their will over your behavior, and otherwise bully you. If certain folks don’t feel that having you “on their side” will be advantageous to them politically or financially, they won’t prioritize treating you with respect and dignity (there’s a notable overlap here with the access-denying folks above). There’s a reason for the saying “I treat the CEO with the same respect as the janitor,” which is that a lot of people don’t. You may find yourself having to work with some of these types, depending on your field. You don’t have that title and company logo on your email anymore, and some people (especially those who are deeply immersed in white supremacy culture) will deem you without value and/or easy game as a result.

Remedial measures:

1.?????Nip it in the bud, fast. Make it clear that you will not be bullied or disrespected. If that was acceptable to you, you’d still be an employee. This may or may not work to stop the bullying.

2.?????Draw on your support system, yet again. This is where talking to supportive people is really imperative. Go to others you trust as wise advisors for insight, perspective, or just to vent.

3.?????Document and convey to your client. Now, if your client is the one doing the bullying, you’re going to want to jump to number 6, period. But if not, you need to make your client aware of what’s happening; they may or may not be able to help address the issue, but at least you’ve laid down a record of the behavior and they will (should) understand if you decide to remove yourself from the toxicity.

4.?????Legally protect yourself. Make sure your contracts have a cancellation clause, and you are able to get out of them without becoming liable to the client for work not performed, in the event you’re being bullied beyond what you’re willing to tolerate. Some folks opt to include anti-harassment/bullying clauses into their contracts.

5.?????Draw on your spirituality. Whatever that may be. It is crucial, when you’re being bullied, to center and ground yourself in your inherent value irrespective of the way people treat you. Call on whatever it is you call on for protection, for justice, for peace of mind, for strength, for guidance. Practice your spirituality. It can produce miracles, even if those miracles are simply a deep shift in your perspective, the healing of old wounds, or the realization that #6 is totally available to you and you should take it, right now.

6.?????Bounce! Life is too short. If there is a persistent issue with bullying participants in a project and it stresses you out, walk away. There are other clients. There are other projects. You deserve better. You may want to talk to a contract attorney about potential remedies, but I beg you – if you’re being bullied and it’s impacting your mental health, move on. The repair work is way too extensive, trust me.

7.?????Diversify your client work. This is really important to being in the position to choose #6. Don’t become overly reliant on one client or engagement. Personally, I prefer to have a multitude of smaller contracts from several clients than one big contract with one client. Having diversified sources of income supports the freedom to walk away in the event bullying (or even just disinterest) becomes an issue.

Nothing to hide behind. This occurred to me, because I recall times when my employers required me to be silent on certain issues or to “not take a position” on certain initiatives. This can be a sort of relief, if you know good and well that your opinion on the matter is not popular among partners and stakeholders in your work environment. For me, that tended to feel oppressive, more than protective, but there were definitely times that it made the day go more smoothly and avoided confrontation I didn’t have the energy for. If you’re a person who is very conflict averse, and you’re working in a capacity where positions on social and political issues are likely to arise, you cannot hide behind an employer’s “position.” It’s all you, baby.

Remedial measures:

1.?????Own your position. This might not really be remedial, but just embracing the discomfort. You’re allowed to believe what you believe (if it’s actually based in facts – now THAT is an article for another day). You can disagree with your partners and your client on big issues. You can take your own stand. You’re allowed. You don’t have to people-please. If all of the clients and partners you’re working with are dead-set against your values and positions on important issues and it’s causing constant conflict, it’s a good indicator you’re in the wrong circles.

2.?????Take no positions. I can’t imagine doing this, but people are different. You could opt, as a rule, to not discuss your positions on certain issues. Personally, I would consider someone seriously suspect if they told me, for example, “I don’t discuss my political affiliation.” But for others, it may be helpful. It’s not consistent with my values, but it is a remedial measure.

Despite all of these challenges, I intend to remain independent and evolve Silleck Consulting Services, LLC in accordance with my values and intentions for showing up in the world to do good. Any path carries obstacles – especially when you are viewed as “other” by the dominant culture – so it’s a matter of which tradeoffs you’re willing to accept. The space to breathe that I celebrated in my last article about this path remains, and makes all of the challenges worth it.?

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