Why is constructive criticism important?

We would rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism.

What is considered encouragement for a small child is often crippling for teens and adults. That doesn’t mean we jump on them with both feet and destroy them each time they make a mistake, that wouldn’t help. But they do need to know that they have areas where they need to improve.

If we don’t give people honest and appropriate feedback, they will continue to operate under a false and potentially damaging assumption about their abilities.

Would you want to enter a talent contest because you so-called friends told you that you had some talent?

Or would you rather find out that you don’t fit in front of a crowd of people?

The sooner you know, the sooner you can change your plans. You may set your sights on the talent contest for next year, and get some lessons between now and then.

Perhaps your friends could give you an idea what you are good at, so that you can focus on it instead, right?

Where can I apply this in my life?

I see two main ways to apply this quote to our lives. The first is that we can seek out some constructive criticism in our lives and skills. The second is that we can be honest, and hopefully tactful, with others on their lives and skills.

The first can be very difficult to take, but if the people giving you advice are capable of tact, you should be able to get on with your life with minimal trouble. If you’re a little sensitive to criticism, you might have to toughen up a little, or ask people who will be a little more tactful first.

The second isn’t much easier, as you have to walk the fine line between offending someone and letting them know that they have an issue with which they need to address. Whether it is your best friend, an acquaintance, or your boss, you have to use a little tact, but you also have to make your point.

Back to the first part, how well do you take criticism?

Yes, it depends on how it is presented, but how gentle does someone have to be so you don’t fall apart?

Does it vary from topic to topic?

In my experience, that’s usually the case. Where are you most sensitive to criticism?

What can you do be less sensitive?

How about separating yourself and your self-worth from the skill or aspect of yourself which is being discussed?

Can you imagine that they are talking about someone else, and try to give their suggestions some consideration?

What about giving suggestions to others, how well do you do that?

Do people seek you out for advice, or do they run away when you try to steer the conversation towards giving them advice?

?That should give you a clue about your ability to be tactful, right?

How can you be more sensitive to the feedback you are getting from the other person as you are giving them advice?

It’s a pretty sure bet that if they wince, you’re probably going a little harder than they are prepared to take, right? Yes you’re trying to help, but it only works if they will listen.

Disclaimer:?The information on this POST is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional advice. The opinions expressed within this article are the personal opinions of the author. All content, including text, graphics, images and information, contained on or available through this article is for general information purposes / educational purposes only, and to ensure discussion or debate.

Thank you….Each person is unique, so each will need to be handled in a unique manner. That means one size doesn’t fit all. You will need to respond to feedback and adjust your methods, or learn to hold your tongue and let others speak instead.

Would you rather have your feelings hurt, or would you rather take the fall brought on by false beliefs and praise fueled pride? Either way, it won’t be pleasant, but either way, you will choose.

This quote is about believing what a person demonstrates themselves to be, regardless of who they claim they are.

Consider someone who looks like a used car salesman. You meet them walking around in the mall, and you are instantly on your guard. You probably won’t believe that they are a nice person with a poor choice of wardrobe. It will take quite a bit of convincing.

Conversely, if we see someone who looks trustworthy, they may be able to do bad things to us multiple times before we believe who they truly are. To me, that is what this quote is about. Allowing a person to demonstrate who they really are, and believing them, the first time.

Do you want to add a word or two?....

Why is being observant important???

It’s easy to be swayed by feelings. It’s easy to allow ourselves to be swayed by what they look like, how they sound, what their style is, etc.

Most of us want to trust people, and give them an opportunity.

The more they match our profile of what a good person is, the harder it will be to ever believe they are something else.

Consider some of the recent news about coaches and other adults in positions of respect and power. Despite acting in a manner which showed them to be other than who they claimed to be, they continued to be trusted and respected. We chose to believe our pre-conceived notions, rather than the facts we observed.

Unfortunately, it works the other way around as well. There are people who match our personal definition of ‘shady’ or otherwise seem disreputable.

How many times do they have to do things right before we believe that they are respectable and can be trusted? I suppose it depends on how many times you have had your trust betrayed.

Your comments........?

Hopefully, you already do, to some extent. How carefully do you scrutinize someone when you first meet them? How long are they on ‘secret probation’ in your mind, before you decide if they are who you hope or think that they actually are?

For some, the time is likely too short, and for others it is too long. In addition to the time factor, there is the observation factor. How carefully are you paying attention?

Have you checked any of their references?

This might be overkill for a casual friend, but if they want money, you might want to be careful, right?

As usual, it is a question of balance. Press too hard and you start to get paranoid. Too little, and the people with bad intentions will take advantage of you. However, the people with good intentions might take the opportunity, and use it to impress you.

What is too much, and what is too little?

That’s a personal call. It will depend on your nature, and how often you have trusted and been burned. We will all have our own lines, and they will change over time, and even from person to person.

Some people are just more likable than others. And some use it to their advantage. My advice is to keep a close eye on new friends. If they’re doing the right things, relax a little. But if they start acting in odd or contrary to expectations, that’s when this quote kicks in.

If you get the feeling that you are being used or taken advantage of, it might just be time to pull back a bit, and limit your exposure. Be courteous and try to find out what is going on, but view any explanations with a bit of skepticism.