Why Communications "Experts" should not lose their humanity in their need to sell a story.

My sister, Anita, died very suddenly just over a week ago.

It's interesting experiencing such a raw and close bereavement when you run a digital publishing company single-handed, and give coverage to businesses all over the UK, free of charge in many cases.

First of all, an overwhelming 'thank you' to my clients and the wonderful PRs who have been incredibly supportive, from sending flowers and sympathetic messages, checking in on me and for the little kind, unexpected messages on the day of the funeral, I have truly been overwhelmed by your kindnesses.

Sadly though, not everyone has responded like this, so I'm hoping that sharing my experience will make some within the PR and marketing industry reflect a little on their conduct, attitudes and behaviour.

I've continued to work and to run some news this week because it's taken my mind off things, and have continued to communicate with my wonderful clients, so my phone has been on. I have also juggled 3 trips to the Midlands in one week, taking calls from funeral directors, the registrar, relatives etc. while sorting out my sister's flat and belongings, arranged and attended her funeral. It therefore hasn't really been business as usual.

Most people have understood this and been incredibly supportive if they have called at a bad time. NOT all, however - and the worst have been people expecting an instant service for something I don't charge for anyway.

Two PRs in particular completely shocked me with their insensitivity. One rang as I was leaving the hospital, having just collected my dead sister's belongings. I explained, sobbing, I could not talk now as I had just suffered a very close bereavement and was just literally leaving the hospital, would you please email or submit your news to the site? Her response? 'You didn't answer my email and this is the number on the website!' She's right. It is. Well done, you can read.

Same PR later sent an email starting 'Now, I'm sure you probably don't feel up to working yet, but....' (No empathy, no apology for her downright heartless response, and frankly I just shared her press release because I was in shock and couldn't be arsed to argue.) When I am not at my absolute lowest, distraught, sobbing and you still want to talk snottily about your press release, I will remember your response. I don't have much of a memory but your email and phone number are saved in my phone as 'rude PR' in case I forget!

The second rang as I was clearing my sister's belongings. On a Saturday. On being told 'I'm sorry, I don't work Saturdays and also I am with family after a close bereavement so can't talk now', said PR just started to read her client's story! On being told, very firmly, to stop, she said 'but...' and basically tried again. You are saved in my phone as 'Rude PR 2'.

This experience has left me slightly shocked. Firstly, the sudden death is reeling in and of itself. My wonderful sister was 20 years older than me and took care of me when my Mum and Dad died at age 11, she never married or had family and I was all she had. I feel like I have lost my parents all over again, too - and adjustment will take some time, so much has happened in a short space of time that it hasn't hit me full on yet.

To experience the added stress of an unkind, entitled attitude at this time from people expecting a free service has added to the strain. For the time being, the jury is still out on whether I change my business model regarding the news sites. I certainly don't want to work free for people who place no value on humanity or kindness.

I also work with some brilliant PRs, branding agencies and web design companies at the top of their game. They are outstanding communicators and wonderful human beings. In my view, the two go hand in hand, because journalists and editors want to help people they like. It is always a pleasure to talk to them.

If you read this, and think that your business needs PR representation, I'd be happy to recommend an ethical PR that puts people first, writes impeccably and gains excellent coverage for their clients. There are lots of them.

Then there's the 'B' list, the arrogant, entitled, ambitious (often junior) cut-throat PRs who think that they have a right to publication. It's to you that I now speak; if you can learn anything from the top people in your industry, it's that they are people first, and PRs second. The word 'relations' is shortened from relationships, and to succeed in PR, you will need to make them. That includes with people like me, who as well as running news publications and giving you free coverage, have a life, a family, a business and clients who value what I do and are prepared to pay for it.

I'm more than just a vehicle to get free publication for your clients news, and if I were your boss or your client, I'd fire you immediately.

I'd also add, if the death of my sister meant your free coverage got delayed by a few days, I'm sure you'll understand if I don't apologise. My sister meant more to me than your story ever will.