Why Character is True North for Lifelong Learners

“Try not to become a person of success, but rather try to become a person of value." Albert Einstein

Good character is the true north of every lifelong learning journey. With character, we can navigate setbacks, enjoy the benefits of building community, and go further than we thought our talent will take us. Without it, we are rudderless and can easily be cast adrift.

Character is destiny

We can look to a constellation of individuals whose good character, each in its uniqueness, helped establish their legacy. I think of Malala Yousafzai's courage and resilience, Ruth Binder Ginsburg's fairness and integrity, Simone Biles’ discipline and strength, and Nelson Mandela’s generosity of spirit.

Who has inspired you with their good character?

President Jimmy Carter’s passing in December last year, nearly 44 years after finishing his one-term presidency, also reminded me of the importance of good character. He was one of four US presidents awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. However, in his case alone, it was due to his legacy of post-presidential work promoting international peace, human rights, and other humanitarian causes.

President Biden focused his eulogy for Carter on his “enduring attribute: character, character, character.” Quoting the ancient Greek philosopher Heraclitus, the former President reminded us, "Character is destiny—destiny in our lives and, quite frankly, destiny in the life of the Nation. It is an accumulation of a million things built on character that leads to a good life and a decent country; a life of purpose, a life of meaning. Now, how do we find that good life? What does it look like? What does it take to build character?”

Learning to build character: Focus on where to do better

In his book Hidden Potential: The Science of Achieving Greater Things, Adam Grant focuses on specific, learnable skills that help us build character. His first lesson is that to make the most out of our talents, we should pursue excellence, not perfection.

It’s a lesson he learned from his renowned diving coach, Eric Best, who told Grant: “You probably went the furthest with the least amount of talent of any diver I've ever coached. And yes, that's meant to be a compliment, not an insult.”

Grant shifted his focus away from an obsession with every tiny imperfection to the value of working harder on what mattered most for improving his diving technique. “Stop telling people to ‘do your best,’” advises Grant (noting the irony of his coach’s last name) – instead, tell them to “focus on where you can do better.”

If you are interested in lifelong learning, you probably already understand that both your talent and how you nurture it contribute to success. We can see Grant’s shift in focus playing out in other sports. Not everyone has the right body type for every sport (see chart below based on data from Kaggle), but people, including those with significant disabilities, are capable of amazing things. I’m reminded of Chris Nikic, who a few years ago became the first person with Down Syndrome to complete the Ironman, saying memorably, “I learned that there are no limits; do not put a lid on me.”

Learning to build character: Manage discomfort

Grant also emphasizes the importance of seeking out and embracing uncomfortable new experiences and approaches. Discomfort fuels growth, and it can come in many forms. We can build character in our professional lives by seeking out new challenges. I’ve written about my experiences leaving the familiar behind, facing fear and self-doubt, and embracing new challenges.

I especially love how some teachers inspire young kids to develop the courage to accept discomfort more readily by having them draw pictures of themselves standing next to a cliff edge. These kids are discovering that we learn the most when we are at the edge of our understanding, exploring new approaches and strategies. This is also when we feel most alive.

We can also build character by taking new approaches to familiar challenges. Admittedly, how much risk we can take on varies greatly by how much privilege we are endowed with. However, as Adam Grant and Dr Jo Boaler highlight, supporting disadvantaged children to develop good character skills and a growth mindset can have an incredible impact.

“It’s not about being the most talented player. It’s about understanding the game, working harder than everyone else, and being ready when the moment arrives.” Steve Kerr

Consider Steve Kerr, the former professional basketball player and current head coach of the Golden State Warriors in the NBA. He overcame the brutal assassination of his father when he was a college freshman and a season-long knee injury as a junior to achieve great success as a player and coach. As a player, Kerr lacked the speed, height, and natural ability of most other players in the league. Unable to compete as a star all-around scorer, he took an uncomfortable and unorthodox approach. In an era of the game when three-pointers were not a common pillar of offensive strategies, he transformed himself into a clutch, outside sharp-shooting specialist. Kerr finished his playing career with a three-point shooting percentage of 45.4%. It’s still the highest in NBA history.

Learning to build character: Be a human sponge, not a know-it-all

Grant uses the unassuming sea sponge as a metaphor for personal growth. According to Grant, being a human sponge requires curiosity and humility. It involves acquiring knowledge and filtering data to extract and add the most value. Steve Kerr shines as an example here as well. He used his TNT broadcasting role as a coaching fellowship, attending practices across the league and studying under coaches with contrasting styles (Phil Jackson's triangle offense vs. Gregg Popovich's motion principles), taking detailed notes on everything from practice organization to timeout management and how to build a team culture. When he became a coach, over his first five seasons, he reached multiple winning milestones in fewer games than any other coach in US professional sports history.

Learning to build character: Act with humility

Humility and self-awareness are critical for learning. Generous coaches and mentors teach us some of the most valuable lessons, but ironically, for successful adults, especially those in the most senior jobs, further strengthening their character almost entirely depends on how safe it is for others to criticize them.

We all have blind spots, and they can lead to missteps without humility. Returning to President Carter, his infamous “malaise speech” delivered during an energy crisis in July 1979 is a cautionary tale. Carter made the mistake of framing the challenge as a crisis of the American spirit. This approach was panned as na?ve and criticized for appearing to blame Americans for the problem. His most notorious line was, “We've got to stop crying and start sweating, stop talking and start walking.” He also spoke about seeking a common purpose, unity, and values, but all these messages were quickly forgotten. His intention may have been noble, but he lacked self-awareness.

The philosopher and psychologist William James noted, "Whenever two people meet, there are really six people present. There is each man as he sees himself, each man as the other person sees him, and each man as he really is.” We need self-awareness to see ourselves closer to reality, and act with charity to help others to do the same. In this way, our good character can unlock the best in the group, shaping our institutions and societies for the better.

Learning to build character: Play the long game

"Patience is sometimes a bitter plant, but its fruit is sweet". Chinese Proverb

Building character takes consistent work over the long term. When I wrote about Charlie Munger, I highlighted how much of his advice focused on avoiding destructive behaviors, such as unreliability. To align who we want to be with how we act, we also need to consistently practice good habits rather than focusing solely on success.

There is a well-known irony in human affairs, also known as the law of reversed efforts, in which too much effort to engineer success becomes the reason for someone’s undoing. Conversely, success comes to those who focus on doing. As Oliver Wendell Holmes observed, “Fame usually comes to those who are thinking about something else.”

We should endeavor to keep our compasses fixed on the true north of good character.

Returning to Biden’s eulogy, we’d do well to follow a steady course and remember that:

“…strength of character is more than a title or the power we hold. It's the strength to understand that everyone should be treated with dignity, respect; that everyone—and I mean everyone—deserves an even shot, not a guarantee, but just a shot.

You know, we have an obligation to give hate no safe harbor and to stand up to what my dad used to say is the greatest sin of all: the abuse of power.

And that's not about being perfect because none of us are perfect. We're all fallible. But it's about asking ourselves: Are we striving to do things—the right things? What values—what are the values that animate our spirit? Do we operate from fear or hope, ego or generosity? Do we show grace? Do we keep the faith when it's most tested?”