Why Character Matters: Lessons from a 4 Hour Walk with Strangers

Consider this: a typical round of golf lasts about 4 hours, and you're often paired with strangers. If you find yourself paired with someone of poor character, those 4 hours can feel like an eternity.

But what does "character" really mean? According to the Oxford Dictionary, it's defined as "the mental and moral qualities distinctive to an individual." For me, it boils down to your attitude towards others and how you handle various circumstances.

In golf, titles and personal status are irrelevant. What matters are your name and your handicap. Golfers are often dressed similarly, adhering to standard attire, so initial judgments based on appearance or occupation are minimized. Conversations typically focus on shared experiences, opinions, and stories about the game, rather than professional status or personal wealth.

Imagine applying this approach to our daily interactions—with friends, teams, and colleagues. You might be surprised at how little some leaders know about the people they manage. Understanding others and showing consideration often starts with knowing something about them. For example, would you schedule a meeting at 7 PM if you knew one of your colleagues had a church service at that time?

Golf provides a unique perspective on how character is revealed under pressure. A single great shot can lead to an unexpected challenge, and how you handle that adversity speaks volumes about your character. When things don't go as planned, how do you react? Life, much like golf, is often unfair, but it's our internal motivation and resilience that drive us forward.

In golf, you'll often spend time helping your playing partners find their lost balls, even if it's not your own. This is an unspoken expectation of sportsmanship and character.

Ultimately, our character is what endures beyond our time on earth—it's the stories people tell about us. These stories often center on how we made others feel rather than on the specific reasons behind our actions.

What I’ve learned is that while golf can be challenging and unfair, it doesn’t have to spoil the experience. Embracing this perspective helps us appreciate the true value of character in both golf and life.