Why CEOs Should Show Vulnerability
Emotionally intelligent leaders demonstrate vulnerability, particularly when subordinates are facing anxiety and stress.
In an article by Jeffrey Cohn and Srinivasa Rangan in?Harvard Business Review,?the authors argue “Rising stars are used to success and accolades. But a surprising number of them are often not able to tolerate discomfort or maintain self-control when leading multiple businesses with incomplete information and the potential for unpredictable outcomes. Yet all eyes and ears will be on these leaders, particularly the eventual CEO successor. Self-control will one day be thrown into stark relief and needed to provide others with comfort and safety, particularly during tough times.”
There is compelling evidence that leaders who are prepared to show their vulnerability more easily gain the trust of others and are in fact, more effective leaders.
In my four decades in training and coaching executive leaders in the public and private sectors, I’ve found that the vulnerability of leaders has been a strength, and conversely, projected invulnerability is a weakness.
Admitting our mistakes, seeking help, apologizing, and acknowledging we don’t have the answers all involve expressions of vulnerability.
Defining Vulnerability
Dictionary definitions of vulnerability focus on weakness: “defenselessness, powerless, passivity, feebleness.” Yet the synonyms of “openness, receptivity and sensitivity” are rarely referenced.
Psychologist Robert D. Stolorow says writes in?Psychology Today, “It is pervasive in our cultural meaning-making to equate vulnerability–whether physical, emotional, or existential–with something shameful, an abhorrent weakness to be kept hidden and evaded, or counteracted through some form of reactive aggression and destructiveness. Vulnerability, in other words, is regarded as an aberration, a contemptible anomaly to be expunged from our experiential world.”
Poet David Whyte says: “Vulnerability is not a weakness, a passing indisposition, or something we can arrange to do without, vulnerability is not a choice, vulnerability is the underlying, ever-present and abiding under-current of our natural state.”
According to author Brené Brown, in her latest book?Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent and Lead, “Vulnerability is the core, the heart, the center, of meaningful human experiences.” She defines vulnerability as “uncertainty, risk and emotional exposure.”
Myths and Misconceptions About Vulnerability
Psychologist and author of several best-selling books, including?The Power of Vulnerability,?Brené Brown describes three myths about vulnerability:
Research
According to Ana Bruk and her colleagues?write, contrary to our worst fears, having the courage to show our vulnerability in these ways will often be rewarded. Bruk says we have a conflicting view of ourselves versus others: we have a negative view of our vulnerability but not of others’ — the researchers call this “the beautiful mess effect”.
Bruk and her colleagues at the University of Mannheim conducted seven studies with hundreds of participants. The participants in the studies were asked to imagine scenarios in which either they or another person displayed intentional and then they either rated their vulnerability or the other person’s vulnerability, respectively. The results showed repeatedly that participants perceived their vulnerability more negatively and less positively than other people.
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“Even when examples of showing vulnerability might sometimes feel more like weakness from the inside, our findings indicate, that, to others, these acts might look more like courage from the outside,” Bruk said. She and her team concluded: “Given the discussed positive consequences of showing vulnerability for the relationship quality, health, or job performance, it might, indeed, be beneficial to try to overcome one’s fears and to choose to see the beauty in the mess of vulnerable situations.”
Neuroeconomist Paul J. Zak, writing in?Harvard Business Review?explains that “when an individual asks for help, the oxytocin (a brain chemical that is associated with social bonding) levels of the person receiving the request increases. In other words, Zak contends, “when a person demonstrates vulnerability, others are socially inclined to assist.” Far from being a sign of leadership weakness, expressing uncertainty or requesting assistance builds camaraderie. “Asking for help is the sign of a secure leader– one who engages everyone to reach goals,” writes Zak.
Vulnerable Leaders
The?Edelman Trust Barometers?show that trust in business leaders is declining. We can add to that the increasing prevalence of corporate misconduct and toxic corporate cultures, as well as executive self-interest where executives may earn?as much as 271?times more than the average worker.
According to Augusto Giacoman, writing in?Strategy + Business,?In business, vulnerability has been generally seen as a weakness. Media headlines encourage businesses to avoid vulnerability or suffer the consequences: Personal vulnerability is considered a liability for leaders and their organizations, so it is studiously avoided. Conventional wisdom holds that it is difficult to lead or negotiate or make demands from a position of perceived weakness.
What Vulnerable Leaders Do
Being vulnerable doesn’t mean leaders need to share their deepest, most personal secrets with everyone, or share their deepest fears or anxieties. So what does being vulnerable in the work environment look like??The Power of Vulnerability: How to Create a Team of Leaders by Shifting INward?authors Barry Kaplan and Jeffrey Manchester describe some of the behaviors of vulnerable leaders:
Patrick Lencioni, author of?The Five Dysfunctions of a Team,”?is a strong proponent of leaders who show vulnerability. Lencioni writes that “the strongest people in life are the ones that are comfortable saying ‘I don’t know.’” To Lencioni, vulnerability is not at all soft — “it’s the key to building great teams.”
The Positive Benefits of Vulnerable Leaders
There are plenty of reasons to believe that vulnerability can be an asset for leaders, as Emma Seppala argued in?this 2014?Harvard Business Review?article. She says vulnerable leaders inspire; are more authentic; and build bonds that lead to increased performance.
Seppala goes on to describe the outcome benefits and characteristics of vulnerable leaders, the most notable of which are:
A leader who shows vulnerability is someone who stops feeling compelled to be the first one with an idea or the first one to answer a question. Becoming vulnerable requires a mindset shift where you start to see the aspirations of the business through the eyes of the people you lead. This invites them to become more involved in — and in fact to become the drivers of — the conversation. When you are vulnerable, your employees feel more connected, invested, respected, and vital to the organization. Everyone benefits.
Now more than ever, the world needs leaders who are vulnerable, empathetic, and compassionate — servant leaders — who put the interests of others and the world first. We’ve seen how the other kinds of leaders — self-serving, narcissistic (and sometimes psychopathic) and toxic — have created chaos and damage. It’s time for a change.