Why Can’t We Turn Political Robocalls Into Cash?

Raise your hand if you think there is nothing more annoying than getting a random phone solicitation call in the middle of dinner, especially a prerecorded message supporting some politician you’ve never heard of.

You’re sitting around after a long day of work with your feet propped up and dinner resting on a TV tray in your lap with the best TV show of the week about to start, and invariably the phone starts ringing. If you're lucky enough to have caller ID on the TV screen or if you're phone is nearby, you can tell who's calling and simply ignore those nuisance sales calls, campaign pitches and free cruise giveaways.

That usually is not the case when I'm kicking back. Normally I'm stuck with my feet up and the phone a long way away. So the other day, I was thinking about ways to take the financial burden off the little guy, and I came up with a notion that would put the onus where it belongs – on big business or big politics, now that we’re in the campaign season.

If Big Brother can watch every move we make, why can't we turn our telephones into profit centers? We've all got phones. We all get random political robocalls, sales calls and charities inquiries at the least convenient times. So why can't we start charging people to call us? With a little help from the phone and cable companies and the government this could work. Genius, right?

Here's how. First, each person who owns a phone could create a friends and family list that would allow you to register the incoming numbers that you want to receive and these folks would not be charged.

Next would be your own version of the "no-call" list. These would be all the others who are not on your friends list. The first call would be charged say 50 cents. The number of this incoming call would be recorded through the magic of digital technology and eventually a sliding scale would be created so that repeat offenders on the no-call list would have to pay an increasing amount of money the more times they tried to call. And the rate could be adjusted to increase during prime disruption hours, say from 6 to 10 p.m.

For example, let's say XYZ candidate has you on his robocall list, and the campaign repeatedly calls around 9 p.m., just when you're starting your favorite show, putting the kids down for bed or some other leisure activity. First call, 50 cents regardless of whether you answer or not. Next call from XYZ will cost them say a dollar for your inconvenience. And so it would go up to a certain pre-agreed upon fee level.

The trick would be the "limbo" people – those callers who you're not sure whether you want to talk to or don't provide information. I'd say charge them the first 50 cents and then find a way to waive the fee if you want to add them to your "OK to call" list.

The beauty of the plan would be that folks who receive the majority of these unwanted calls – Joe and Jane Sixpack -– would benefit the most. They could receive either a lump sum check at the end of each month from their phone provider, or the money could be used directly to pay their phone bill. We've all seen those obscene numbers that candidates have in the war chests, so maybe it's time for them to share the wealth.

Under my plan we’d share some of the wealth by cutting the phone company in on a small portion of the money – emphasis on small -– to cover the cost of data mining the incoming calls and setting up the system. Let's say 10 percent. And of course the government could have its 5 percent (with the majority designated for education spending). States facing budget shortfalls should be lining up to support this plan. Even with the kickbacks to the phone company and the government, the average family would be getting 85 percent of the net.

Getting paid for inconvenience, this all makes too much sense, so it will never work, you say. Of course, you're probably right, but just once, wouldn't you like the folks who disturb your dinner to have to pay up?