Why Can't I Decide? This is Beyond Frustrating

FFS!!!

Why can't I just decide!

Ever feel like this?

It is a common human experience to be unsure, indecisive and procrastinate. But when you are desperate to make changes in order grow, move forward and achieve your goals indecision is not helpful. Procrastination can become all consuming and leave you feeling frustrated, annoyed and angry.

I have also found that procrastination can feel like your living in the song Windmills Of Your Mind,

"Round, Like a circle in a spiral, Like a wheel within a wheel,

Never ending or beginning, On an ever-spinning reel

Like a snowball down a mountain, or a carnival balloon

Like a carousel that's turning running rings around the moon

Like a clock whose hands are sweeping past the minutes of its face

And the world is like an apple whirling silently in space

Like the circles that you find in the windmills of your mind!"

This feeling of going round and round without the appearance of an ending or answer can keep you stuck in an endless cycle of thinking, rethinking and not moving forward.

Like so many experiences there is a sliding scale to procrastination. Your indecision could last from few seconds to never making the decision at all. The situation can also vary massively, from choosing what to have for lunch to applying for a new job.

What is behind your indecision?

You're not sure, it's not the right time, you don't have enough experience, you don't want to cause a fuss, you are not sure if you will make a difference, it's not quite right, you are worried what others will think or say. The list can keep growing as you brain comes up with more and more reasons to not decide.

From my experience indecision is a result of thinking about the worse case scenario. All the statements above create the opportunity for your brain to catastrophize and scream What If... this happens!

What If... is an incredibly powerful thought as it open so many possibilities. Your brain will tend to lean towards the negative compared to the positive when prompted with this What If... questions as it is trying to protect you. The problem is most of the situations that we are procrastinating over do not put us in any real danger, so the What If... question and the subsequent, multiple and ever ludicrous answers hinder you moving forward.

How can you become more decisive?

Firstly you need to become aware of when you are procrastinating and more importantly what are you saying to yourself when you can't make a decision. What is your default What If... story?

When you become aware of what you are saying to yourself you need to challenge your thoughts and your What If... story.

For example if you say to yourself "this is not the right time" you have to challenge this statement.

What does "not the right time" mean?

What would the right time look like?

What is my What If story regarding the right time?

What could happen if you took action now?

What do you need to take action now?

How would you benefit from taking action now?

Answering these questions will provide you with awareness and knowledge about yourself and how you thinking in a situation where you need to decide. But the truth is you still have to decide and you also have to take action on that decision.

If you say to yourself "I am not good enough" again you need to challenge this statement.

Saying I am not good enough is a deep rooted belief that is limiting the potential you have within yourself. If you do not question and challenge this belief with the aim of changing it to something empowers you will struggle to make a decisions and take action that will allow you to grow and achieve your goals.

Ask yourself

What are my successes?

What I have learnt that took a lot of work?

What am I good at?

How do I help people?

You may not have the skill, expertise or experience to proficient in something that interests you. However that does not mean you are not good enough! Everyone is a beginner, everyone is a student and everyone has the ability to become better.

It takes courage to make decision, it takes courage to follow through on your decision with actions and it takes courage to be open to all the possible outcomes of your action. What If things go well?

It is not easy making decisions and taking actions when the fear of what might happen take hold of you, however remember not making a decision is a decision too.

If you want to know how you can over procrastination, become more decisive and build beliefs that empower you, that's what I do.

I help bring out the best of you.

You can find out more and book a call today by visiting www.jamesdeancoaching.com