Why Candor & Debate Matter at Work (and in Life)

Candor and debate are a work in progress for me—except, of course, when I was arguing with my brother over who had the largest slice of cake or whose turn it was to push the button in the lift. And yes, this was not just when we were 5 years old!

When it came to work decisions or differences of opinion, I had no trouble jumping into those conversations, sometimes with both feet. But when the discussion shifted to interpersonal feedback or revealing what I was truly thinking and feeling, my candor and debate skills seemed to shrivel up. I internalized everything. To my cost.

I’ve come to realize that by holding in those difficult conversations, I was doing no one any favors. Being an ally and adopting an ally mindset requires making a conscious choice—to step into the discomfort of tougher conversations, trusting that increased understanding and a stronger foundation are on the other side.

Candor and debate are like the secret sauce in any successful team or leadership journey. Think of them as Batman and Robin—each powerful on their own, but unstoppable together. Candor invites us to speak our truths openly, while debate ensures that these truths are challenged and refined. Without them, we're left with a bland mixture of surface-level agreements that stifle creativity and innovation.

At work and in life, candor and debate are essential for fostering a culture of trust, respect, and growth. When we engage in honest conversations, we invite diverse perspectives that lead to better decision-making. Imagine a workplace where everyone says what they mean and means what they say, without fear of stepping on toes. That’s a workplace where problems get solved faster, ideas flow freely, and relationships are built on solid ground.

In our award winning book "You, Me, We. Why we all need a friend at work (and how to show up as one!) ," we explore how the Ally Mindset, which emphasizes these practices, can transform the way we lead and collaborate. The truth is, candor and debate are not just nice-to-haves—they are must-haves for anyone looking to create a dynamic and successful work environment.

Three Tactics for Increasing Candor & Debate Within Your Team

1. Create Safe Spaces for Dialogue: Establish environments where team members feel safe to express their opinions without fear of reprisal. This could be through regular “open forum” meetings where everyone is encouraged to speak up or by creating feedback channels for more sensitive topics. The key is to make it clear that every voice matters and that differing opinions are not just tolerated—they’re encouraged.
2. Promote a Culture of Curiosity: Encourage your team to ask questions and challenge assumptions. When someone presents an idea, make it a habit to ask probing questions that dig deeper into the rationale behind it. This not only refines ideas but also teaches the team to think critically and avoid groupthink. Remember, the goal is not to win an argument but to arrive at the best possible solution together.
3. Model the Behavior You Want to See: As a leader, you set the tone. Show your team what healthy candor and debate look like by being open, honest, and respectful in your own communications. Share your thought process, admit when you don’t know something, and be willing to change your mind when presented with better information. When your team sees you engaging in candid and respectful debate, they’ll be more likely to do the same.

Three Tactics for Demonstrating Candor & Debate in Your Individual Leadership

1. Ask for Feedback and Act on It: Request feedback regularly and show that you value it by making visible changes. When your team sees that their input leads to tangible results, they’ll be more likely to share their honest opinions in the future. This also demonstrates humility and a commitment to continuous improvement—traits that are vital for any leader.
2. Practice Active Listening: During discussions, focus on truly listening rather than preparing your rebuttal. Reflect back what you’ve heard to ensure understanding, and validate the other person’s perspective before sharing your own. This practice not only builds trust but also leads to more meaningful and productive debates.
3. Embrace Discomfort: Being candid often means having uncomfortable conversations, but these are the ones that lead to growth. Lean into the discomfort and address issues head-on rather than avoiding them. Your willingness to tackle tough topics will inspire your team to do the same, leading to a more honest and high-performing work environment.

Candor and debate are not just about being right—they’re about getting it right. By fostering these practices in your team and embodying them in your leadership, you’ll create a culture where everyone feels empowered to contribute their best ideas and work together towards shared success. Remember, the best leaders don’t shy away from tough conversations—they embrace them as opportunities for growth.

Let’s bring candor and debate to the forefront of our leadership practices and watch how it transforms our teams and our lives.

What advice and tips do you have for developing these vital practices in your team, or leadership?

P.S. We invite you to complete your complimentary Ally Mindset Profile here!