Why bother ? Six reasons why I do..

People often ask me these questions.

What’s the point of making friends with rank strangers, of connecting random people & putting in recommendations for folks who’re not even in your primary or secondary networks, or spending time with youngsters who might bring no tangible value-add to your life, or by referring books to people, and of course – blogging daily without waiting to check if anyone cares to read or not?

Let me give you my six reasons why I do all that.

-?Because, in early 1997, a gentleman named Major P.K. Sanyal, heading a small engineering firm in Calcutta, decided to call a misfit fresher for a meeting – a youngster who, despite decent academic grades, had displayed rather reckless behavior at the very start of his professional life, by walking out of a coveted first job with a major organization in a week & who had then suddenly dumped the idea of pursuing an MBA & started looking for another job instead. Interestingly still, the youngster, despite his politically incorrect interview (complete with his shoulder-length hair or his references to Shah Rukh Khan &?Kafka), was hired. He stayed in the job for six months, during which - PK kicked his ass, coached him, tempered him & made somewhat of a presentable man out of him. Despite his oddball persona, PK took a chance on him. That youngster was me. 24 years on, when a fresher reaches out to me today, I might not always be able to help, but I try. At least I respond. That’s the least I can do for PK.

-?Because, at the turn of the century, after a shakeup of the eastern India biz by a gold standard badass of a Regional GM, who, instead of falling for stereotypes & promoting the ‘next obvious choice’, took a bet on a sales engineer leading a small state in the region & promoted him to lead the largest ASM territory in the country, which included the acid test of the dreaded Bengal wholesale market, the Achilles heel for the most seasoned of salespeople. If you’ve ever worked for me, you might have been pleasantly surprised when you received a recognition from me early on when you were expecting me to be ‘keeping an eye’?on you, observing you for knowledge, attitude, skills & habits. Most managers are stingy with early rewards, thinking it might get into someone’s head. Wrong! Humans are feedback seeking organisms. Early & positive feedback fires us up.?Two rules: Pass it with specific examples (recognize an effort, don’t wait for a result) & give it without an annexed ‘to-do-next’?with it. It takes 67 days to break a habit. Or make a new one. It takes around 2 months to settle down in a new town & leave an old town behind. It takes 9 weeks to fall in love. Or out of it. Those first 9 weeks with an elevated responsibility in the harshest yet the most rewarding of markets, transformed me as a professional & gave me wings. So, when I (within my limits) try to recognize people early, I am just paying my dues to LP, my first badass boss.

-?Because, as a young leader shopping for mentors, I once identified Rajeev Karwal , the undisputed Rock Star of India’s consumer electronics industry & who was named among India Inc’s top?25 rising stars & the most powerful CEOs of India, as a role model. I sent a note to him. He called me back to wish me well. He also said I reminded him of his younger self. That was 2003. The beginning of a beautiful personal relationship. And the discovery of a role model and an extended family member. In the past 18 years, as we went about our journeys, chasing our destinies, while being chased by our individual fates, ours was a relationship that stood like a rock. And while he went from strength to strength following his dream and breaking new ground over the years, he always found time for me whenever I needed him – by lending me a patient ear, offering me pearls of wisdom during a knotty bend and, sometimes, just inspiring me by being himself. An aspirational human being, who leaves you undecided, whether you respect him more or love him more. Rajeev crossed over to the other side in May this year, but not before instilling in me the importance of responding to people who look up to you & guide them by just being you. So, when people ask me why I invest so many hours every weekend in mentoring young professionals, even strangers, my reply is – I am doing it for Rajeev, the elder brother I never had.

-?Because, as a disillusioned professional who was grappling with intense politicking in a new industry & was desperate to look for his stardom elsewhere, I chose to quit my job one April morning. In a matter of hours my phone rang. It was Sam, our CEO & who was to India’s insurance sector what Bachchan was to Bollywood. He gave me all the time I needed to rant. Then he patiently explained to me why I was important for him & for the organization. But young & foolish as they call it, I persisted because I wanted to explore something else. He obliged. A week later he invited me to his office in Mumbai, an unimaginable recognition for an ordinary regional manager. We had lunch together. He talked, I listened. Those few hours were the equivalent of a University degree on leadership for me. At the end of our allotted time, we shook hands &?he wished me well, asking me to keep in touch. I did. It’s been so many years. Even today when I am in a tough spot, I try to imagine what Sam would have done in the situation, and I miraculously find an answer. Such is the aura of Sam ( AKA,?The?Soumen Ghosh – you may google him). So, when someone today asks me why I am so particular about being nice to outgoing employees, I smile. Just like Sam would.

-??Because, as a small-town boy who started without advantages, my journey so far has been a combination of Ups and Downs. In fact, more Downs than Ups. And like we all eventually discover, what we call purple patches, make us vain & arrogant, while it’s in our lean phases that we grow as human beings. It’s in there where we discover the power of humility & when we?realize that the world is not some version of a?Machiavellian script full of schemers & villains, but rather a place where the good ones outlast & outclass the bad ones by a huge margin. While I would refrain from naming each of them & embarrassing them on a public platform, all I can say is – in my past 23 years, whenever I ran into a wall & found myself cornered by life, I had people step up & help me – putting a word for me, removing some obstacle from my path or simply by?being there for me when my chips were down & helping me become a better version of myself. They are my tribe. So, whenever people scoff at me for my persistency in trying to pull people out of some hole, I am not offended. I know I am just being a tribe for someone else who’s been hit by a curve ball. I know they will do the same for someone else down the line. Not everything in life is a transactional ‘you-do-it-for-me-and-i-do-it-for-you’ equation. I believe in Karma that works in non-linear & inexplicable ways. And I believe that in the end, the good guy wins.

--Because, as an ambivert in a number-centric profession, I have my share of wet days. In the past two decades,?I’ve into run into endless?bad quarters, monster bosses, political colleagues, entry barriers & unfair rejections time and again. But if you know me personally, you might have seen that I try to die to each day as it ends & I show up in my incorrigible optimistic avatar the morning after. Let me tell you a secret. That’s not my natural self. For over twenty years, whenever I’d feel a sense of gloom creeping in on me?for something that wasn’t going the way I wanted it to, someone showed up and spoke to me. From the pages of some book. From the words of some article or a voice in an audiotape during my running hour.?It turns out that wet days happen?to everyone. And there are people who try to document the trials, tribulations & the way to find peace within the chaos. So, when people ask me why I blog daily or why I bother to pen down (and also, mostly share) anything that moves me positively, it is not for any external validation in the form of garnering ‘Likes’ or?‘Followers’. Over the years, I’ve had people reach out & tell me that on a day when they were almost about to give up on themselves - some article (or poem or short story) of mine helped them calm down, re-gather the pieces, and start again.?How can I let go of this thrill of being able to alter even one life for the better with my words? I do this for this very selfish reason. This is my little way of leaving the world a little better each day than I find it. Nothing official about it ??

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( This is an excerpt from a chapter in my 2021 book,?'Life-ing?it'. That & my other two books, 'As you?life?it' and 'Once upon a someone', are available on Amazon in your country).

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