Why "The Big I Am" is Bad for You
"That's the second time you've told us you worked at the BBC", says the lad at the back of the class. He's caught me name-dropping and called me out. Ouch. Teaching business skills to teenagers can be hard work.
Nobody likes The Big I Am.
Bragging is not cool. Nobody likes The Big I Am, But here's the thing: talking about yourself is not just unappealing, ironically, it also undermines your status.
American psychologist James W Pennebaker analyses how we use common, functional words like pronouns and articles. He found that low status individuals use "I", "me" and "my" in their writing and speech far more often than high status individuals (check his TEDx talk - about eight minutes in).
Talking about yourself is a sign of lower social status.
So why could talking about yourself signify lower social status? Maybe we think that's all you've got - me, myself and I - whereas a powerful person has far more connections and resources to talk about. Maybe the person who talks about "he", "she", "you", "them" and "us" comes over as more generous.
Either way you risk leaving your audience thinking "Is that all you've got?" when you talk too much about yourself.
So what can you do, especially when you NEED to talk about your work, for example when you are pitching a new idea?
Stories about yourself can be a powerful part of your pitch, giving us a rich insight into your character and the journey you've been on. But you mustn't get carried away with your own story: we need to know enough so that we trust you. We don't need your life story.
Tell stories about other people
The best way to pitch without sounding like The Big I Am is simple: tell stories about other people. Tell stories about your customers, your colleagues, the people your business is trying to help. Talking about other people makes you look more like a high status individual, it puts the focus on your customers AND it stops you falling into The Big I Am trap.
Check my blog for an insight into how Nike's story evolved from The Big I Am to Other People and how you can do the same.