Why the Best Leaders Know When to Keep Their Mouths Shut

Welcome to the latest edition of A Spark of Optimism! This week, we're exploring a counterintuitive leadership insight from Jocko Willink. As a former Navy SEAL commander, bestselling author, and leadership consultant, Jocko has led elite teams in the most high-pressure environments imaginable. Yet his most powerful leadership technique isn't about asserting control—it's about knowing when to deliberately create space for others.

Imagine you're in a high-stakes meeting. The team is discussing a critical problem, and as the leader, everyone expects you to have the answer. What do you do?

If you're like most leaders, you might feel pressured to speak up immediately. To demonstrate your value. To prove why you're in charge.

But according to former Navy SEAL commander Jocko Willink, that instinct could be undermining your team's potential and your own effectiveness.

"When I go in a room with my 10 subordinate leaders, I know that they're going to have better ideas than me or at least they'll have a point of view that I don't have," Jocko shared with Simon on the latest episode of A Bit of Optimism (which you can view in full below or listen to here).

This seemingly simple insight reveals a profound truth about leadership: sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is create space for others to step up.

The Power of the Leadership Vacuum

Jocko calls it "the leadership vacuum"—that uncomfortable silence when a decision needs to be made, but no one is immediately taking charge. Most leaders rush to fill this vacuum, but Jocko suggests a different approach:

"When that leadership vacuum occurs, I'm going to give it at least enough time that everybody feels it. I want everyone in the room to feel it."

Why? Because jumping in too quickly sends a powerful, often unintended message: your ideas aren't wanted here.

"If I jump in too early, there's a couple people maybe who were about to—Simon had an idea he was about to say something—and I just cut him off. Now he's going to be begrudgingly executing what I told him to do."

That begrudging execution is the enemy of true commitment and high performance. When team members feel their perspectives aren't valued, they might follow orders, but they'll do so without the enthusiasm, creativity, and ownership that drives exceptional results.

Creating Space for Better Ideas

The practical application is simple but powerful:

1. Pause deliberately when decisions need to be made
2. Let the silence linger long enough for people to feel the need
3. Create space for different voices to emerge
4. Step in only when necessary

"If a decision needed to get made, I would make a decision, but I would make a little tiny decision," says Jocko. "If someone else makes the next decision, I'm fine with it."

This approach accomplishes several things simultaneously:

1. It demonstrates humility by acknowledging others might have better ideas
2. It empowers team members to contribute meaningful solutions
3. It builds collective ownership of decisions and outcomes
4. It prevents the team from becoming dependent on a single leader

Balancing Decisiveness with Openness

This doesn't mean abdicating your responsibility as a leader. Jocko isn't suggesting indecision or endless deliberation.

"I was known in the SEAL Teams for being very decisive," he says. The key is finding the balance between making necessary decisions and creating space for others to contribute.

In high-stakes environments, this balance becomes even more critical. "In chaos of combat, when the leader starts barking orders, the good followers know when to contribute and when to follow," he says.

The goal isn't to abandon decisiveness but to use it judiciously—to be decisive about when you need to be decisive.

Building Trust Through Balance

This balanced approach helps build the trust that's essential for high-performing teams. As Jocko emphasizes, "The components of a relationship are trust, listen, respect, influence, and care."

By creating space for others' ideas while maintaining the ability to make decisions when necessary, you demonstrate both respect for your team's capabilities and your own commitment to the mission. You show that you care more about finding the best solution than being seen as the one with all the answers.

The result? A team that feels valued, engaged, and committed—not just to following orders but to achieving shared goals.

Putting It Into Practice

Ready to try this approach with your team? Start small:

1. In your next meeting, deliberately pause after presenting a problem
2. Count to 10 in your head before offering your own solution
3. Acknowledge and build on the ideas that emerge
4. If no ideas emerge, make the smallest decision possible to move forward

Remember, as Jocko points out, "The team that gets along, the team that has good relationships wins all day long." And few things build better relationships than genuinely valuing each other's contributions.

Because ultimately, leadership isn't about having all the answers—it's about creating the conditions where the best answers can emerge, regardless of who they come from.

For their full conversation, you can listen here. And for more advice from Simon's Optimism Company, feel free to check us out here!