WHY BECOMING A CONFIDENT TANZANIAN IS ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE?

I remember Back in school, there was nothing more frightening than leading a morning speech in Infront of the school assembly and worse than that participating in debates because

?speaking Infront of people felt the same as getting yourself in the mid of the World War three

This made those who participated seem like the smartest and most extraordinary beings in school even when they had an average class performance

And this situation did not stop at the secondary level of education only

Even in Universities where class presentations become compulsory for everyone, a lot of students will opt to do the conclusion part since it was very brief and easy

when a person asks regular questions in the mid of the session much less in the classroom session will be termed as “mnoko” like the ones who need to show off or don’t wish well for the group to get best remarks

This goes on and on up to the working places where asking questions to get more clarification or standing for their best interests terms a person as a hot-headed and stubborn

And this coming from the section of the educated population which should portray a certain level of intelligence ad confidence is disturbing but the greatest question is why is this happening

Why people are always enclosed in certain boxes of not voicing out their opinions to cure their curiosity based on my own experience this isn’t something happening over a night but a system placed in our society as follows:-

1.??????Perfectionism.

There is always a perfect moment for everything in our families,

?you need to grow first before you are allowed to speak in the room,

?you need to go to school to be taught a certain knowledge and skills which you can still get on books and streets just to succeed

You need to reach a certain age before you develop a relationship with money,

?all these impart children with boundaries instead of believing that they can still grow within the process or in imperfect situations.

Teaching them to see what they lack first more than what they possess which in return affects them to wait till they reach a certain standard to be confident about themselves which is a lie.

You can still be great in your weakness and you can still achieve greatness if you will put yourself in the learning mode and perfect your craft while you are still doing it.

As they say, if you produce a product which you can’t criticize then you have launched it lately in the market

And this is what we need to be taught how to grow in the process instead of waiting for the perfect moment

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2.??????Culture of silence

?In our traditional families,

a child isn't not allowed to say anything in family meetings because of lacking life experience or financial muscles to offer something valuable on the table

?Giving them such space is taken as an insult to the adults who are capable to do so.

?This is done at the expense of not teaching kids to be vocal and confident about their ideas, having that freedom to speak and feel confident about themselves

This makes kids treat silence as a sign of obedience, discipline, and respect to their seniors especially male figures, who are the sign of authority and power within the family even when they are wrong

?being mighty to their throne, being questioned or criticized is forbidden

This makes most of us live a lie and with a lot of unanswered?questions and endless inner conversations which we wish to say about our family, friends, and even our country

And that’s?why?we highly applaud those online whistleblowers who say what we wish to say, what an irony

This keeps us unconfident with our thoughts and locks our potential to do anything in life because we don’t want to be seen as different and being silent is a zone that is safe and harmless but most importantly comfortable.

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3.??????Exams based education system,

I don't wish to call it bookish because every little piece of information found within our books is applicable and so if we don't create a space for them to be applied or used in our context then it's our problem, not the books,

?the main issue is our education system solely uses grades as the final target or a unit to measure the success of a student only even to standard one student in primary school

diverts general focus from producing the self-dependent people with a well-rounded personality to people who can creme and spit what they have learned in examination papers for them to get the good grades as an end goal of the education system,

that's why it's not even something new to see a university graduate who can’t address the public on serious matters of state because they lack the confidence and curiosity to know things more than getting good grades

I think it’s a high time to revolutionize our education system to produce people who are outstandingly curios with charisma to fear no podium in front of them

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4.??????Parents’ obsession with their kid’s weaknesses and failures

?When a kid passes the exams, it's okay and will be applauded for a short while, and when fail,

He or she will be punished like forever which instills them with fears of failure to a point of wanting to become perfect which is almost impossible

A kid won't treat failure as a door to learn or an opportunity to redirect in life, all they will ever see is their?incompetence and foolishness which make most people seek to do things that are safe like government careers which offer job security by which failing will be treated averagely contrary to the private sector which is performance-based,

?life automatically become a game of avoiding failures which is a form of not trusting one’s capability in traveling across the journey of life hence less confidence in what they do

In reality, failure is part of life but letting it defines you will create inner insecurities to diminish you even more but learning from them, makes us more aware of our journey and hence make better decisions about our lives

failure is a part of the process and not a destination

5.??????Media Overhyping Negativity

We are living in a time when being good has no space in the entertainment industry which most people are close to daily.

We today live in a world where a person flaunting his sex tapes or saying something stupid gets media attention and overnight fame while the rest who are winning awards in any reasonable field such as technology won’t.

This makes people doubt what is needed to be done to reach such kind of height in life

Not only that but the media has a tendency of perpetuating the spread of stereotypes since they get a better reaction than one’s opposing them since Nobody cares

Today, switch on the TV you will see people saying people need to abandon their formal education to weigh something in life because being bookish or having good certificates is a gateway to failure. SO, when a graduate tries and fails it will diminish their confidence level

If an artist won't create some form of negative stunts, then they won't be brands or marketed. So, they need to create public stunts to succeed

All these stereotypes and others create fear in people and remove that confidence within themselves because they believe they have to be in a certain form to succeed because they are not enough.

This makes them search for a perfect environment and moments to excel and ultimately create strong disbelief in their ability.

This narrative should stop because the world was created on the foundation of diversity,

from climates, water masses to races, then we should push the narrative which resonates with the reality of the community in embracing our differences and not adhering to the western world or any standard to define what modernity means or is acceptable to us.

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6.??????Self Discovery Is Almost Impossible

Growing up, Parents always create the road map for a kid to follow without considering their choice,

?I understand many kids don't know what they want or what the future will look like and therefore they need their parents’ assistance in guiding them

but this shall never be done in form of a parent projecting his or her vision on the life of the child instead of identifying and discovering the child’s best interest and attributes and then guiding them through that direction in making the right decision within their paths.

This will make their kids happier and become the best version of themselves?hence more confident in what they do,

contrary to this A kid will grow up doing things averagely or for the sake of doing which makes them have inner conflict which deteriorates their confidence in life

Also, Tanzanian Kids will always be pitted against each other on the family level,

being told for them to be good, they need to be better than others instead of being better for themselves.

?This creates damage in their minds and removes focus from their own growth and being in competition with others, making them view failure or setbacks as something very negative since it makes them lag behind others which lowers their self-confidence.

This ultimately makes their confidence level depend on what other people are doing with their lives instead of theirs, also, their value being determined on being better than others rather than achieving their full potential which makes them live a life without knowing what they are best at doing,

?End of the day you can win against the weak easily and feel confident about yourself while you could opt to see self-competition as important hence reaching greater height which resonates with the highest and truest form you can be

Remember You can come last while you give it your best and also come first when you didn't give it your best. All matters

6. Content Consumed

as much as your health and physical appearance cannot be much different from what you eat then one’s ability to have a meaningful conversation and discussion is highly dependent on what they read, hear or see in their daily lives.

You cannot simply talk about the things you are unaware of which are highly influenced by what you read, see and hear in your daily encounters and conversations, this is how

It’s easy to find a Tanzanian youth who knows the background and daily life of local and international celebrities but you can rarely find one who knows the history of the likes of Reginald Mengi or Julius Nyerere by which their lives are already documented in writing and are really inspiring

It’s easy to find a Tanzanian Youth who knows the history and statistics of the European league, its players, and couches but you can rarely find one with the same knowledge of our national income data, geopolitics, or even projects which directly affect their lives

This is really sad but it is the truth, so how can a youth who knows less can provide more in addressing sensitive matters of our community, it’s impossible and this isn’t a miracle but it has a source

Most Tanzania youths treat learning as something which should be formal as it always has an end goal which results in financial gains, but a learning culture that treats information as something to have is not much important. This is done at the expense of having low-quality ideas and standards leading to the entertaining lousy conversation since they can't hold meaningful ones and therefore feel inferior when they meet people with substance, especially foreigners

I think for us as Tanzanians we need to remove those boundaries and let everyone be themselves but most importantly, develop a learning culture that is not dependent on the end goal such as a career just to make people interested in data and information to have more understanding and control over their environment and themselves hence more confident.