Why Being “Nice” Keeps You From Living Your Truth (and Purpose)

Why Being “Nice” Keeps You From Living Your Truth (and Purpose)

Do you ever have an itch to just not be so “nice”?

I’m not talking about kindness or compassion or caring.

I’m talking about that deferential “nice” that happens when you hold inside what you’re really experiencing… what you see as the truth of the matter… because you think people aren’t ready to hear what you have to say or will reject you if you say it.

That kind of “nice”.

While I worry less about being measured and reasonable than most (as my friends would concur). I almost always stay within the limits of what is allowed… and try to be reasonable in most situations. Frequently, what I’m really thinking is way outside of those limits.

And I’m just thinking that “nice” doesn’t cut it anymore.

How much more do we have to wake up to on this planet before we STOP enduring this platonic way of living within the bounds of normalcy and expectation when it just lands us up back here, facing this ridiculous global scourge of life and weather and resources and, ultimately, LOST FAITH in each other?

… and NOT say and do what we really feel or believe?

How can we complacently continue in these lives that aren’t pushing us to the limits of our potential and deciding it’s OK to turn a blind-eye to all the wasted human potential that gets “left on the table” of this great game of poker?

Quite frankly, I’m done with tolerance.

Isn’t it time to do something different? To imagine just the possibility that we can be more/ do more than we think we can?

To push ourselves outside our comfortable boundaries and catered lives and life into a more phenomenal potential?

Or as my eldest daughter would say- “put on your Big Girl Pants!” (or Big Boy Pants, not to discriminate).

If you were a race car driver, would you settle for second to last?

Or would you tune the engine, get the best parts you could afford, practice until your palms no longer sweated, and get into the best mental and physical shape you could be in to win that race?

So why do we settle for “good enough” or “almost there” or living a life that can be labeled “I could’ve done more but it was too hard” (aka scary, risky, vulnerable)?

I mean, WTF… what are you (we) waiting for?

You could truly settle in and watch a few more devastating weather events or mass human tragedies.

For sure you could do that.

Or…

You could step up and into the life you’re really meant to live.

And contribute from a greater level. Have more impact. Help to turn this thing around.

You really can become your biggest self WITHOUT giving it all up. I’ve got a whole slew of clients who have learned how to pay their mortgages and take care of children and maintain their commitments AND live their most purposeful life.

And I’d really like for us all to stop using the excuse of “not ready” or “too expensive” or “not enough time” or “I can figure this out myself” as a means to delay the inevitable need for us all to be on track.

Cause anything LESS than your fullest human potential is STILL part of the problem.

Yes, it’s true.

If you are NOT living into your fullest expression in this lifetime, NOW, you are part of the problem.

What are you waiting for?

I get the fear. The doubt. The overwhelm of everyday life. Me too. My life is full of the same, AND I’ve been pushing, pulling, nudging myself forward in my own version of evolution for several decades now.

It’s the MOST Bodhisattva thing I can do… to be here LIVING on purpose.

Not just sitting on my meditation cushion. Not just praying for collective healing. Not just doing yoga or being mindful. Not just increasing my frequency or getting into “flow”. Not just sending healing energy to the suffering. Not just doing my inner child work.

Those are all great, and they’re NOT enough.

It is one small STEP at a time… ACTION, mind you… with persistence and courage and an unrelenting faith that all the steps will add up to make a difference.

My heart is still full of love and compassion and kindness, AND I’m done being Nice. There’s too much that we need to take care of. Let’s let go of the limitations that keep us from living fully, and stop leaving our best work unexpressed.

With great love, hope and commitment to our Evolution,

Holly Woods PhD