Why Being a Nice Boss Can Be Very Cruel

This past week, I addressed an elephant in the room in our Facebook post chronicling the beginning of Radiate (see below).

The elephant is that while we're focused on helping managers get better, better damn well be a good manager. Practice what you preach. Which is why when I'm conducting interviews with CEOs, experts, advisers, I'm soaking up all their advice too.

This weekend I soaked up a lot of advice from Jack Welch, who was in his element hosting the 5th graduating class of the Jack Welch Management Institute. On stage with him in Washington, DC, he was his usual bombastic, direct, passionate self. Unrelenting in opinions, Jack told an audience of hundreds of graduates how most companies fail in creating the right culture to grow managers and leaders.

There are a number of reasons why but the one from Jack that really struck me was his view that nice bosses are actually very cruel. 

What does he mean?

Nice bosses tend to tell you how good you are; they rarely tell you what you're doing wrong so you can fix the issues. Few people like giving critical feedback so when it comes time for your annual review, the nice boss will give you a pleasant review, never giving you an inkling that your colleagues Joe or Mary think you stink at certain things. They'll try to blunt any criticism with lots of flowery language so that you actually don't realize you've even been criticized.

Then one day it comes time to cut costs and the big boss tells your nice boss that he or she needs to lay off a certain number of people. Suddenly, you find yourself called into HR and packing your desk, thinking to yourself, "I was doing pretty well here. Why me?"

Why you? Because your nice boss never had the guts to tell you what you really needed to do to improve. Instead, he or she was concerned about protecting your feelings. Except the truth is that your boss was really protecting his or her own feelings.

(Watch Scott Kurnit advise new bosses how to manage their own companies. Click above for our 10-chapter Radiate ProGuide. It won't be free for long.)

Nobody likes to be hated. Nobody wants to be the bad messenger. The same is true in life as it is in the workplace. Most bosses want to sip from the "World's Greatest Boss" coffee mug and the easiest way to do that is to be nice to everyone. As Jack explained, not giving that hard, critical feedback is cruel. You set your team members up for failure.

Think about that the next time you want to sugar coat something at work. Just say it like Jack: straight from the gut.

Radiate is focused on making better managers and leaders. Please visit www.radiateinc.com and become one of our first members!