Why the key to being more 'likable' is to like yourself first

It is easy to spot a fake. 

We have all been there. You know those meetings where the person in front of you looks the part and is playing the part but you know something really is not right. Or worse still, when you see a person act one way in real life yet portray a completely different identity online. 

Truth is, we are all so much smarter than we give ourselves credit for and when we tune into that intelligence we know when someone is not being themselves. We energetically feel the intention behind another person's actions both online and offline. We end up feeling ‘turned off’ by the person and sometimes not really understanding why. On the flip side, there is also no greater pain than to spend your life pretending you are something you are not for the ever-fleeting approval of others. 

Influence is a powerful social currency in the networked world we live in and slowly but surely everyone is catching on. Problem is, in a bid to get more likes and enroll more followers, there is a misguided belief we have to be, do and say what the mainstream audience wants to see and hear. The result is a plethora of sameness and a lack of truly insightful and unique commentary. It also results in us attracting the wrong people, places, and opportunities. 

As I write this article on my outside balcony a weird little insect with what can only be described as a furry bottom (I am in Australia after all) has walked across my laptop. The timing could not be more perfect and it a synchronistic reminder of my favorite Dr. Seuss quote, “We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.”

Here is the thing, there is someone out there for everyone and I am not just talking about the romantic kind of love. I am talking about the fact there is an audience, a group of people big or small that will resonate with you for who you really are. If you want to create real, lasting and meaningful influence, you have to like yourself enough to be yourself first. 

Rather than taking an outside-in approach, we must take an inside out approach. What we say and do must be guided by our internal truth. Rather than putting ourselves out there to suit the needs of a particular role we are in. We need to put ourselves before the role and take a long term approach. Building a personal brand and developing influence is not about selling your role or title. People want to connect with the real you, not a convenient or ‘mainstream’ version of yourself. 

You came into this world alone and you are also the only person guaranteed to be there with you until the very end. Like you would invest the time and effort getting to know another person, do the same with yourself; ask yourself questions, spend time alone and don’t be afraid to accept you change (often). 

As it has been said, when you know yourself you are empowered, when you accept yourself you are invincible.