Why being a kid is harder than running your own business

Last Wednesday I was invited to speak on my experience in setting up my own business, alongside some other super talented and successful entrepreneurs. I spoke on the topic of Perspective and its overarching value. But throughout the night, the broad take out – amongst many insightful gems – was that running your own business is hard, but there are many positives to doing it.

Then last Friday my daughter came home in tears. Why is not important, but what I realised because of that moment, is.

Running a business is difficult, being a child is harder.

Childhood is (or should be) full of wonder, love, excitement and discovery. But, the reality is, the perversion of childhood innocence is one of the cruellest punishments life has to offer. As a parent, I have started to see the veil lifted from my daughter’s (and son’s) eyes and vicariously lived through her realisations that childhood is often a cruel and nasty part of life. The torment kids put themselves through is tantamount to torture and, yet there is little we can do at times to relieve their pain.

It sucks – for her and for us!

Sitting up late over the weekend with my wife to work out what we could do to help our daughter, something occurred to me. Running a business is said to be hard, but the truth is, being a child is harder.

So, I write this, in part for a cathartic release, and in part to share with anyone looking to start their own business, the five reasons I believe it is harder to be a child than it is to run your own business.

Kids are brutal

Kids do not pull punches – literally or metaphorically. They have few filters and saying what they want to, is par for the course. If you are a kid on the receiving end of a particularly disgruntled child, each word they utter is like a knife to the heart. Maybe they are talking about your looks or making fun of your name, or your ability to run, either way, as a kid you take it all on board and struggle to put it into perspective.

And whilst, as an adult the words directed at you, or your business might sting and rock your boat for a short time, you have the wherewithal to realise that that person’s voice is just one in a sea of dozens, or hundreds of others congratulating you, or urging you on, to do more, to be better. 

It is a steep learning curve as a kid.

As a business owner, you have gone into business because you excel at something. You have something awesome you know you can offer the market and excite them about. You know what you know and have faith in your abilities. Sure, it will be a tough slog to build the product or service and get the market to notice you, but you’re equipped with the know-how of what you do, and the contacts to help you in the areas you need it.

But what about when you are a kid - you are not always sure of your place in the world. Each day is a new day, full of learning, surprises, tests, mistakes, bumps, scolding and more. And, people expect kids to pay attention, to be well behaved, to do what they are told, to understand new concepts, and when they do come to do something new, as often as not there is the frustration of trying and failing. That does not equal defeat by any stretch, but your resources of whom to lean on are limited, your lateral thinking is also limited and as such, the sense of feeling overwhelmed (without realising that is what it is) is huge.

You’re never your own boss

It is true, the customer is king and ultimately every business owner is responsible to them. But whether or not you want to start work earlier in the morning so you can go for a surf at lunch, or want to take Friday off knowing a friend is in town and you can catch up on Sunday is up to you. You answer to yourself.

When you are a kid though, there are rules about manners, about tidying your room, about what to say – and more confusingly, what not to say – about how to do maths, treat your brother, when to go to bed, and so on and so forth. You may be given free time between certain hours, but at the end of that time, you are back to the grindstone with little say to how or when you spend your time.

Rejection really hurts

As discussed, kids are brutal, sometimes knowingly, and other times not. My daughter recently told her crush at school that she really liked him and that he was her #1 ‘like’. Not intending to be mean he looked at her, shrugged and told her she was not his. It was just a matter of fact. But for her, well you can imagine. Kids wear their heart on their sleeves. And for them, the perversion of childhood innocence is one of the cruellest punishments life has to offer. As a kid, you have not weathered rejection enough to have developed a thick skin, or perspective on what that rejection means.

Now, as an adult rejection is not necessarily easy to take either. No one hates that single word “No”, but fortunately in business, it is just that little bit removed from being personal, making it easy to view dispassionately and to see that rejection for what it is – a lesson to be learned from and/or the voice of one person only.

You feel no one understands what you are saying

My son often speaks to me at a million miles an hour, his brain literally working faster than his mouth can. As hard as I try, I sometimes fail to keep up. If he is completely absorbed in the moment and I force him to repeat something or ask what he sees as a silly question, you can see his temperature rising. Try as he might, as caught up in the moment as he is, he struggles to contain his anger. Despite asking what I feel are great probing questions, the questions anger him and inevitably I hear

“ ..dad you just don’t understand. Forget it. ARGGHHHHHHH”.

This scenario can be replayed for multiple different subjects, from why I do not understand why he and his sister are fighting to misinterpreting what he said and so forth. But the end scenario is the same. He doesn’t tell me what he wants, and he does something that gets himself into trouble.

As a business owner, it is no less frustrating at times either. You craft a message (be it for an ad, or a presentation you are giving), you put it out there and your sales do nothing. There's what I call the "Holy Crap" moment and you wonder what went wrong. You ponder, you get upset or worried and start to question things. And this questioning part is what separates you from a kid. Where they dig in and get stubborn, adults look to go again. We are equipped to look for answers and use them to our advantage.

You realise, maybe I should ask people what they liked or did not like, or maybe you look to change your approach and go again, or you investigate what changed with your audience. The key ultimately, is you realise you need to change your message. Kids do not. And there are repercussions. 

Running a business may not be easy, but what is?

Sure, running your business may not be easy, but you started it with a goal to make a difference and with a passion that made you feel empowered and excited. Tap into that and remember to look for the perspective which will help you through tough times.

And to remember this. Clearly, you made it out of childhood alive. If you can do that, running your own business is surely child’s play. Get on out there and smash it.