Why being Jewish and going to church has made me a better marketer

I am proudly Jewish. I was raised orthodox, now practice reform, and am active in my local community. But for the last eight months, I have been going to church at Spiritus Christi pretty much every Sunday.

I started going because it is an important part of my sweetheart's life. Every day he works hard to integrate into my very different world, so it seemed like the right thing to do for him. But it has turned into something more -- an important hour each week in my own life. A complete surprise and interesting awakening.

During this holiday season, I'd like to share how this experience has impacted me personally and professionally in my on-going Living and Marketing series.

All are Welcome

Spiritus Christi is not just any church. It proclaims "all are welcome" and truly means it. The church started almost 20 years ago when the Diocese of Rochester, under pressure from the Vatican, fired the leaders because they offered communion to everyone, allowed women to participate at the pulpit, and celebrated gay and lesbian weddings. More than one thousand congregants decided not to honor these restrictions and formed Spiritus Christi, which is now described as an "inclusive, mission-driven Catholic Church."

Today as I sit in the pews, I actually do feel welcome. The language used is warm and caring. Twice during the services, people engage with their neighbors with smiles, "peace be with you," hugs, and handshakes. When I hear the music, I look up to see the loving inclusion of several choir members with disabilities.

I initially felt very uncomfortable going to church. Sort of like a fraud. While I am a huge fan of Jesus, as a Jew I do not believe he is the son of God and that he died on the cross for my sins. I am also very conscious of the historic and often violent friction between Christians and Jews that, unfortunately, continues today.

So I don't take communion, although all church-goers are very explicitly invited to participate. I also don't sing the songs and say the prayers that are directly about Jesus. It seems false to me and disrespectful to both my heritage and those of the Catholics who surround me.

But here's the rub. This church has made me acutely aware of my own limits regarding "all are welcome." While I don't see myself ever taking communion, I do find myself singing more and realizing that it is the spirit and intent of the hymns that are important. My literal interpretation puts up a barrier that is in my own head and not shared by Father Jim, Reverend Mary, Deacon Myra, and the congregation.

As a result, I have started questioning what I really value. And I truly value the peace, love, activism, and openness of this community. Lifting up my voice with them is about me being inclusive of them and, more importantly, truly honoring my relationship with God and my love of what I believe are the inherent values of my own religion.

Conscious Inclusion

So what on earth does this have to do with marketing? Actually, quite a bit. I think marketers today are working hard to practice conscious inclusion. Does the photo shoot include people of color? Are we showing women of all sizes in the commercial? Are we making media buys that not only reflect targeted segments, but also our clients' values around diversity? This is conscious inclusion and an important first step in creating at least a media world where "all are welcome."

But I'm wondering if real inclusion is possible if you are not surrounded by people who are different than you, sharing activities that may make you uncomfortable. And I don't see much of that truly going on in marketing. For example, I know of few advertising agencies that are really truly diverse in age, looks, and backgrounds. It is an industry where it is incredibly easy to age-out after 50, people of color are still rare, and leadership continues to be primarily male. That means you have to actually think and work at diversity because it is not a natural, everyday occurrence.

This also holds true to the insights we bring our clients. Can you really market to farmers if you haven't spent time on a farm? Can you understand sexual abuse and harassment if you haven't had that experience or truly engaged with someone who has? Surveys and even focus groups are shallow tools to get to insights. Experiencing what our clients' customers are experiencing is actually, I think, the way to create a brand that is truly welcoming because it lives in the heart, not the head.

I'm not sure what the fix is. I am grateful in my lifetime that we are now becoming more "conscious." I just know that if we stop at conscious inclusion, we are fooling ourselves and not honoring our clients and their customers. My gut says the key to "all are welcome" is literally living the ALL.

So during this season of light -- both Chanukah and Christmas -- I hope to lighten my own heart and soul. I want to live each moment embracing "all are welcome." To quote the Great Teacher himself:

"So I say to you, Ask and it will be given to you; search, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened for you."

One last thought. Take a few moments to look at this video of an interview between Sarah Silverman and an ex-member of the Westboro Baptist Church. It is such an incredible example of what happens to someone when the barriers truly come tumbling down.