Why being an effective leader requires caring for You

One critical aspect of sound personal leadership is looking after yourself first so that you are then able to look after those that you lead . If you aren’t mentally, physically or emotionally well enough then it becomes more difficult for you to lead others effectively .

This process starts with you and I was engaged by an excellent piece about leadership self-care by Shelley Zalis , entrepreneur, speaker, mentor, mother, and founder and CEO of The Female Quotient in a conversation with leadership and performance coach Robyn Ward. Whilst I'm not a bath and rose man myself I found their advice a really useful checklist for becoming mentally prepared and ready for leadership.

They jointly discuss five tips on becoming a better leader by investing in yourself ;

?     Self-care. People don’t leave companies; they leave managers. So, if you don’t show up as a happy, healthy person, it will impact others. Self-care is the key to manifesting anything in life, notes Robyn. “There is this new thing that self-care is rosé on Sundays with a bath. Not to say that I don’t like rosé and a bath, but that’s not all self-care is. Self-care is consciously built into everything you do throughout your day. It is the physical, mental, and spiritual rituals built into your life.” 

?     Self-awareness. If you want to be the best leader and best person you can be, self-awareness is key. However, it doesn’t come easy and it’s a big blind spot for lots of people. “Being self-aware is knowing who we are and how we show up, what our strengths are, what our weaknesses are,” says Robyn. “It’s the core of authenticity — and authenticity leads to trust.”  

?     Self-improvement. Embrace the person you are, but also be on the lookout for ways to evolve. The leader you are today is not necessarily the leader you need to be to advance in your career. Robyn recommends taking an intentional approach: “Every human should be intentionally growing. Set three to five KPI growth agendas for the year. Ask yourself, ‘What are a few things I need to work on to get to SVP?’” She also suggests having an “accountability partner” who helps you stay on track. This can be a partner, a friend, or even a career coach. 

?     Self-management. At a certain point, how you show up each day is more important than how smart or experienced you are. You can learn a million skills, but if you’re not able to handle the grind, you won’t be able to put them to good use. Robyn puts self-management into two buckets: time and attention. “Work smarter, not harder — and as much as you manage your time, also manage your mindset,” she advises. “EQ has been found to be two times as important as IQ. Great managers have a high EQ, so it’s key to work on your emotional intelligence. Think about how you manage your thoughts and your feelings, both at work and at home. You can do this by journaling, so you’re more in touch with your emotions.”  

?     Self-reflection. The most successful leaders build self-reflection into their lives. According to the Harvard Business Review  people who spent 15 minutes at the end of the day reflecting about lessons learned performed 23 percent better after 10 days than those who did not reflect. As Robyn notes, “Take time at the end of the day, month, or year to reflect on how you showed up.” Our lives are so busy, and it can be tempting to let this exercise fall to the wayside, but Robyn stresses how important it is: “I remind people how much productivity you’re losing by not reflecting. You’re not just reflecting on what you’ve done, but also how you’re thinking and feeling. Also, you’re a mirror for your team, regardless of the level you’re at. Think about how much you will elevate your team by instituting time for self-reflection.” 

Everyone wants to grow, to stretch and learn, but our default is often to operate on autopilot. Instead, let’s get comfortable with being uncomfortable. Look in the mirror, ask yourself the tough questions, and be honest with your answers. Ask yourself, “Am I the best that I can be?” Once you get used to doing it, you’ll probably even start to enjoy the ritual. 

Click here for the full article on Forbes.com https://www.forbes.com/sites/shelleyzalis/2019/11/15/self-leadership-is-the-new-self-care/#7d07aafa684b

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Paul Lyons is an experienced CEO who coaches leaders to improve their performance and wellbeing by developing their mental toughness. 

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