Why Being Celebrated and Witnessed is Crucial for a Woman's Growth and Success in Business

My daughter was so excited it was my birthday when I woke up. She couldn't stop talking about it. She took her princess tiara and put it on me. She was telling me how everyone was coming over to celebrate.

I had to explain to her that when we're older, adults don't celebrate as much and tears filled my eyes as my last few birthdays had been quite uneventful. And I thought to myself, we really SHOULD celebrate more. Women, especially, need cherished and honored more often. It's why I intentionally bought myself flowers last week and went out tango dancing the night before...all gussied up in my red dress...and bought an incredible chocolate cake for my daughter and I to share.

When my daughter turned 3 years old, my nanny asked if we were going to have a party. It's customary in Mexico to celebrate this rite of passage, but at the time it slipped my mind. I started crying, feeling like I was a terrible mother because I didn't think it was a big deal and hadn't planned anything.

Honestly, it wasn't a big deal at the time, but as I am currently planning her birthday party to celebrate her turning 5 years old, I want her to feel loved and celebrated. I made a cute video invitation with Canva and sent out the invitations and made a list of everything I need to do, but beyond that, party planning isn't really my strength.

So, my nanny and her family volunteered to help. She told me she'd take care of all the decorations, a Frozen theme as my daughter loves Elsa. Her sister is taking care of the bouncy castle for the backyard. They LOVE decorating and party planning. I sent a message to a special bakery to get a Frozen-themed cake for the party and some Where the Wild Things Are themed cookies to surprise her on the actual day of her birthday. I feel so grateful for all of this help in planning her special day. And it reminds me of how we ALL need support, whether it's in our personal lives or cultivating the right team in our business so we can stay within our zone of genius as the leader.

Years ago, a client mentioned on a podcast interview how she would like to see more rites of passage being honored for women. And I agree. I think the lack of honoring and witnessing what men and women go through as they come of age contributes to an imbalanced psychological state. It is in the bearing witness to the celebrations, the losses, life's transitions and the rites of passages as a community that one feels loved and supported. Sadly, Western culture has let these dwindle down to almost nothing. And it's up to us to take initiative to revive them.

I have had the honor of being immersed in a culture of women from different backgrounds over the last few years who are ensuring that women are being honored and witnessed at all of these life transitions. My dear friend, Nancy, teaches how to host menarche ceremonies for teenage girls when they have their first period as well as the sacred honoring and witnessing of pregnancy, birth and postpartum. I share more about the importance of ritual and ceremony in this previous article as community is a pillar of identity for indigenous peoples and something I believe we all need.

According to Achievers, an employee recognition software company, the five pillars of belonging in the workplace are:

1. Welcomed: Being introduced to and incorporated into the organizational culture and community
2. Known: Being understood, motivated, and celebrated as an individual
3. Included: Being valued and accepted without reservation
4. Supported: Being consistently and meaningfully nurtured and developed
5. Connected: Developing and maintaining relationships across a diverse population?

And I believe these are universal principles that can be applied to our human experience.

Here's four ways we can all be more intentional about being celebrated and witnessed:

1. We must ASK for what we need and want. It's so easy to put ourselves so far down on the priority list that we don't even make it known what we need or want. No one is a mind reader and we have to set expectations on how we want to be celebrated and witnessed and make ourselves a priority. I have seen time and time again how challenging this is, but it's possible to shift with intention.
2. We must be OPEN to receive. Again, this can be so challenging for many women. Many of us are taught to give and self-sacrifice from a very young age. We have to acknowledge within ourselves that we are worthy and deserving of being celebrated. It might feel weird and uncomfortable at first because it's new. But begin allowing it to be the new norm.
3. We must begin to SEEK OUT HOW we can celebrate ourselves and the people in their lives. Just like with taking myself out dancing and buying myself flowers, or a client telling me she took a vacation with her daughter to Greece even though she could have easily made a million excuses why not to go, you can begin with celebrating yourself. Celebrate your wins in your business, that new client, that big contract, that speaking engagement, everything. And start to see where you can celebrate your children and your loved ones. Start with recognizing birthdays and anniversaries and then expand from there. While a quick post on Facebook or text on someone's birthday is okay, a card in the mail or flowers is certainly more profound.
4. We must HONOR our life transitions with rites of passage and ceremony. A new mother needs celebrated and nourished when baby arrives. A girl coming of age needs celebrated, not shamed. A man coming of age also needs celebrated so he understands himself on another level. Our elders and their wisdom should be honored and not cast to the side because they seem useless as they age.

There is so much more I could say on this subject. I hope that this reminds you to cherish yourself first and seek out a community that will support you when life gives you its ups and downs because it's certainly just the nature of being human. As you shift into a new norm of celebrating the wins and witnessing the losses, even in little ways, this sets the stage for cultivating a business that creates success rooted in worthiness. You'll no longer look outside to define your success as you're already winning just by internally knowing you're enough.

I would love to hear how you are celebrating yourself and bearing witness to your transitions?

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