Why Becomes the Way

When is a good time for bad things to happen? The answer to this loaded question is easy: Never!

But, as we all know, sometimes things just happen. The more we are in a position to deal with the things that happen to us, the quicker we can look at why they happened for us. To Rod, that was his focus. Once he started to realize it, of course.

Upon his realization, he began focusing on how things were happening for him rather than to him-opening his eyes to a whole new world. A world of potential solutions offered towards his overall purpose. He went from being mired in victimhood to building a backbone solidified by the right decisions towards his worthy cause. There was no going back. Only forward. Anything put in his way was accepted as a speed bump instead of a full-blown obstacle.

TMP Business Principle # 10:

10. Obstacles become the Way! They’re inevitable so embrace them. As Will Smith says, “If you stay ready then you don’t have to get ready.” Obtaining those “particular set of skills” which give your mind the knowledge to act from a database of experience can only come through practice. Generally, one gains the proficiency to “stay ready” by dealing with obstacles versus avoiding them.

It all started with his “Acceptance of Why.” If your why is bigger than all the why’s you face, you win! Every time!

“Those who have a 'why' to live, can bear with almost any 'how'.”-Viktor Frankl

Rod learned in everything he did, placing the why first was critical for him to envision solutions. He offered insight into his process along with three quotes from those who “get it:”

“WHY: First of all you need to know your why. Why are you doing this? You gotta have a big enough why in order to get yourself to stop or start. You must start with the end in mind so you can plan your journey and achieve the success you want.”-Rod Aponys

“I’ve missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times, I’ve been trusted to take the game-winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”-Michael Jordan

“I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.”-Thomas A. Edison

“A hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles.”-Christopher Reeve (aka, Superman)

The obstacles we've allowed to form in our mind are the most difficult to overcome.

We must learn to break free from our invisible shackles. Those shackles which have formed in our mind keeping us bound to things we desire to break away from. But, with the right processes, they can be overcome. Backed by a strong enough why (purpose) the shackles can be thrown off in direct proportion to our desire for obtaining that why.

Overcoming obstacles in our lives generally boils down to mental effort. The more we put in the effort up front to decide on our purpose, the better equipped we will be to overcome those obstacles when they are encountered. The purpose drives the processes for overcoming obstacles. The bigger the purpose, the easier the obstacle can be handled.

Think about it: with the end in mind and a deep, driven desire to get there-greater than any obstacle you face-those obstacles get mitigated to bumps or not even noticed as obstacles at all. For the unfocused, or those lacking a true purpose, almost everything becomes an obstacle.

Can’t find your keys? You yell, “Oh, the world is conspiring against me again!” (substituted for the normal expletives one can insert here)

Run out of gas? You ask, “Why did this happen to me?”

It is you that has to take control to mitigate the obstacles. Instead of making mountains out of molehills, make them invisible. This is what will truly break the shackles. Control is what it's about. Either someone or something controls you or you take control of your life. A purpose gives you that control. Eliminating obstacles along the way.

Ryan Holiday, one of Rod’s “go-to’s” because he always seems to resonate his thoughts perfectly, summed it up in an excerpt from an article on the subject:

“In the chaos of sport, as in life, process provides a way. A way to turn something very complex into something simple. Not that simple is easy.

But it is easier. Let’s say you’ve got to do something difficult. Don’t focus on that. Instead break it down into pieces. Simply do what you need to do right now. And do it well. And then move on to the next thing. Follow the process and not the prize.

When it comes to our actions, disorder and distraction are death. The un-ordered mind loses track of what’s in front of it — what matters — and gets distracted by thoughts of the future. The process is order, it keeps our perceptions in check and our actions in sync.

It seems obvious, but we forget this when it matters most.

Right now, if I knocked you down and pinned you to ground, how would you respond? You’d probably panic. And then you’d push with all your strength to get me off you. It wouldn’t work; just using my body weight, I would be able to keep your shoulders against the ground with little effort — and you’d grow exhausted fighting it.

That’s the opposite of the process.

The process is much easier. First, you don’t panic, you conserve your energy. You don’t do anything stupid like get yourself choked out by acting without thinking. You focus on not letting it get worse. Then you get your arms up, to brace and create some breathing room, some space. Now work to get on your side. From there you can start to break down my hold on you: grab an arm, trap a leg, buck with your hips, slide in a knee.

It’ll take some time, but you’ll get yourself out. At each step, the person on top is forced to give a little up, until there’s nothing left. Then you’re free.

Being trapped is just a position, not a fate. You get out of it by addressing and eliminating each part of that position through small, deliberate action — not by trying (and failing) to push it away with superhuman strength.”

As previously discussed in the other TMP Business Principles, “process” is important. The process is developed in alignment with one’s purpose. Without a purpose, as Holiday mentions, “the unordered mind loses track of what’s in front of it-what matters…” To prevent “losing track of” and, instead, being able to “stay ready,” to avoid or overcome obstacles, one must find what matters most. When one truly finds what matters most and backs it with a “why” big enough for its attainment, one will develop a repellent for the shackles attempting to be placed on their body.

If, by chance, life has one in the shackles already, then start applying the principles ASAP! The sooner one starts applying principles which allow them to develop a purpose that inspires them, the quicker shackles are removed. From there, the maintenance of one’s purpose provides the process which works as the “shackle-repellent” going forward.

All in all, obstacles are inevitable. Accept them as being “the way.” With your “Acceptance of Why” already in your personal arsenal, though, your “why” becomes “the way.” A big enough why mitigates obstacles into just a bump in the road towards personal success. If the why is big enough, the journey may be recounted without any bumps at all. With a big enough why, though, one could care less when bad things happen! Their why becomes the way.

Based on a true story, The Mirror’s Puppet is applicable in both the personal and business realms. Meant to inspire, expose, and hold accountable on a personal level, the book also inspires, teaches, and delivers results on the business level.