Why Authentic Self-Expression is the Foundation to Create Belonging

Does feeling like you belong or fit in come naturally to you? What about self-expression? Do you feel free to express yourself??Like fully express yourself??Or, are you hesitant on putting your thoughts, feelings, and ideas out into the world with all the social fears that may come up??

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In a culture where we value the need to belong, fit in, feel accepted, seen and heard, more than ever, self-expression is the foundation to find belonging. The desire to belong drives all human behavior. It inspires us to seek connection and love in relationships, join a community, follow a sports team, or even do crazy outrageous things like join a gang. When we feel like we belong it improves ones well-being, motivation, and happiness.

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This article takes a deeper look at why self-expression is so critical to create true belonging in your life and why it can be difficult to express our true selves. I will also share some helpful ways to create belonging through self-expression.

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We know Self-expression is important in everyday life. But are we really aware of its importance and the benefits it brings to our everyday life? Self-expression is the creative essence of who we are as humans. As humans, we're constantly expressing and creating as we speak. When you're expressing your true nature, you're happy and feel alive and in those moments of expression, you're vibrating your energy out to the world of who you are.?That is the first step.

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Brene Brown goes deep into the topic of belonging and one quote that sums it up perfectly is,

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"True belonging is the spiritual practice of believing in and belonging to yourself so deeply that you can share your most authentic self with the world and find sacredness in both being a part of something and standing alone in the wilderness. True belonging doesn’t require you to change who you are; it requires you to be who you are."

This quote solidifies that belonging really is self-expression. That you can't have belonging without self-expression.?The more you express your true self and what you truly believe in then you will attract your tribe of people that resonate most with you and what energy you're putting out into the world.

If you're wondering why do I feel alone, why I'm unable to connect with people, or why do I isolate myself, and why do I feel different from the rest of my family, our first go too is to judge or blame ourselves, think that there must be something wrong with us. I recommend a different approach. The judgment-free awareness approach is where you throw it all on the table and remain open and curious and look at things as they are. Most of the time it's because you're holding back a certain part of yourself that wants to be expressed.?When we're open and vulnerable we connect and feel a sense of oneness.

It sounds simple right? Just speak my mind. Yes, but not totally. Being open and vulnerable is tough.?What holds us back from belonging??

The four-letter word. F.E.A.R. All the social fears pop up. The big one I want to focus on here is the fear of expressing ourselves. These fears are all learned fears from the environments we grew up in. For example, little 5-year-old Johnny was really expressive growing up, running around talking, and playing with everyone without a worry in the sky. Then one day, he got in trouble with his teacher in class for talking too loud. Since we're children and don’t understand, we internalize it and blame ourselves. So fast forward to Johnny's adulthood and he's 28 years old and having trouble speaking in public and creating new connections. When Johnny starts to do the inner work with his coach, he realizes that he had that old belief trapped in his unconscious mind holding him back from being his true self.

Another example, or maybe Johnny grew up in an environment where self-expression was frowned upon in his family. His parents didn’t know how to express themselves or regulate their emotions well. As babies, we're glued to our parents because we need to survive. The thing is, we're constantly observing and watching them 24/7 picking up what to do and not to do. There's one thing. We don't know what's right or wrong or good or bad so our unconscious mind absorbs and stores all of it. If our parents aren't expressing themselves, there's a good chance we're going to run across some challenges as we grow up. That's why it's never too late to get ahead of it.

This is why reprogramming your mind and training your nervous system is super important. And the way to do that is to practice expressing yourself in a safe environment. That's where the power of coaching comes in: to help you co-create and go into the unconscious mind and explore your thoughts, feelings, and emotions in a nonjudgmental space to remove the old beliefs and blocks we hold onto about ourselves. This isn't easy work. It requires effort, intention, and practice.?It's necessary for the path of freedom and happiness. The way out is not to do it alone. It's with a coach. A co-creator that wants to play and win with you so you can reclaim your power.

If this article speaks to you. Then we should chat.?Send me a DM, I'd love to offer you my complimentary Path of Self-Expression conversation. It's super valuable and provides great insights into your self-expression growth opportunities and a few thought starters on how to move past what you're experiencing.

In the meantime, here are 5 ways to create belonging through self-expression:

1.) Be yourself: Put out your authentic energy and always speak your truth.

2.) Express yourself: express your thoughts, feelings, and emotions. Be bold. Remember not everyone will vibe with you. And that's okay. Quality over quantity.

3.) Listen: People want to be seen and heard. If you really want to connect to someone, just listen and see them for who they are, not for who you want them to be.

4.) Body language matters: Have an open body frame and a confident posture. If your arms are crossed and you're hunched over, you're going to put out a different energy and not look interested.

5.) Adopt a judgment-free mindset: if you're judging people, you're most likely judging parts of yourself you haven't accepted and putting up a wall against others. Remain open and curious and accept everyone for who they are.