Why authentic interactions in a work setting (and wider) matter

Uncertainty is something that we’ve all become accustomed to. Uncertainty about work, about when you can have your wedding, about what Boris’s next step will be. In fact it’s all we’ve spoken about for a year.

For the first time last week, I heard this uncertainty framed with a completely different lens by James Ashford. 

He said that all this uncertainty has made people crave a proper connection. An authentic connection. 

And this is something that really resonated with me. Although I’m often labelled a bit of an anti-social grump, authentic conversations and connections are very important to me. And it’s something I can be guilty of not embracing myself. Presenting a sanitised version of myself either through fear or a belief it’s the best for the situation is a trap i can fall into. I’ll regularly let the other person in an interaction set the stall for how much of ‘ourselves’ we’re going to bring to the conversation. 

But Lockdown after lockdown, uncertainty means people want a proper connection and it’s become more important than ever.

It makes up for the fact most connections are now made in less authentic ways. Webcams that make it feel the person is there with you when they aren’t, virtual social events to make up for the party that couldn’t be. It’s something we can really benefit from. 

And I think this is really important across all settings we find ourselves in, whether it’s in or out of work.

Authenticity with our clients

The most recent place I’ve seen this come into play is in the Client Success team at GoProposal. We’ve recently hired two new members, based in The USA and Australia, and one of the common concerns is ‘understanding how the app works’. It’s a theme for every new member.

Now we don’t expect anyone to know GoProposal inside out before they start. Nor do we expect it to be something people can’t learn (we’d be in trouble if it was). 

But that fear is real all the same, that fear someone will ask a question we don’t know the answer. This is because being authentic is hardest when we’re vulnerable. A new job with clients we don’t know asking questions we feel we should know is a vulnerable situation, so pretending to be the expert can be the default. 

‘Proving that you care’ is a core value of GoProposal for this very reason. We don’t want our team to pretend, we want them to be authentic and let the client know how much it matters to them. 

‘I’m really new, and I’ll be honest I don’t have a clue what the answer is. I’m going to go right now and see what I can find out for you!’ Is a much better approach than b*******ting and pretending to know. 

The new guys in the team have taken the ‘authentic’ approach from day one, and it’s already shown. Great conversations, great feedback and the start of some solid relationships. 

All of the best relationship builders I’ve seen in action have never recalibrated for different situations, like a big cheese CEO compared to a mate.

Danielle in our team is a world class relationship builder. She doesn’t have different settings, she’s just herself. She's extremely professional and will always do things to a very high standard, but the theme throughout it all is very much herself. She recently received a case of wine from a client for all her great work, and I know the way she interacted with that client was the same way she chats with the team on zoom in the morning. 

Your clients are the same as you. They’ve spent the last 12 months doing zoom quizzes rather than sitting with their mates in a pub. Being authentic and showing more of yourself to them could be just what they need. 

It matters with your colleagues too

This same rule applies to our colleagues. We’ve all received an email where we felt our colleague wasn’t saying what they mean, or felt they’ve stayed quiet on a zoom call when they really wanted to call out what was being said. 

If we can bring ourselves to the table in a respectful way and say what we really mean, then we can have a much better work environment and better performing team.

It’s not easy. We’ve been focussing on it at GoProposal and it’s a struggle to think about how you get a whole group of people to do this with each other in a way that’s constructive. But I know I always feel better when I say what I mean, or communicate how I feel about a plan or course of action. 

It’s also even more important than ever that people know they can say how they really feel. There have been a lot of instances where people have found it hard being isolated at home without the connection of a workplace or a routine that got them out the house. When we feel like that it’s so much better for us that we feel we can speak out about it. 

How being authentic makes you feel better about yourself

Everyone feels better when they can be their true selves, and not only will it make you feel better, but it creates a space for the people around you to do it as well. Whether it is a colleague or a client.

In 'Atomic Habits', James Clear talks of creating an environment where you can operate at your best without thinking. Like Steve Jobs wearing the same outfit every day to remove a decision and focus on what matters. I think being authentic is the same as this. It’s another decision you don’t have to make, you don’t have to decide how to act as you’re just going to act as yourself. 

For some people this will seem like a stupid concept because they are always authentic as it’s all they can be, for others, this will be something they have to work on to feel comfortable with it.

Either way I think you should go out and try and make your next interaction as authentic as possible, and you can decide if i'm right.