Why not to ask “Why?” in Coaching
Ali Khaled Alhashmi
Certified Coach, HR Professional, Motivational Speaker & Published Author
“Coaching is engaging with people to unlock their true own potential, enabling them to activate their built-in natural learning capability to achieve their desired goals.”
– Ali Khaled Alhashmi
It is a common misperception that all types of “open ended” questions can be used to great effect in coaching. This is because open ended questions are generally helpful in a coaching environment because they provoke thought. However, while most open ended questions are helpful in coaching, the use of “Why?” is often counter-productive. Let us understand the reason for this.
Coaching aims to unlock the potential of the client (coachee). The coach achieves this through partnering with the client, asking them powerful questions. The problem comes about when the question, “Why?” is used because this can end up making the client defensive. The reason this occurs is because asking “Why?” can seem rather judgemental. An example can be used to illustrate this point. If you ask someone, “Why did you not consider communicating with the person differently?” then it seems as if you are suggesting that there is a different, better way to have gone about it, which the client did not use. This feels negative if you are on the receiving end of it.
The outcome of asking a client such a question will invariably lead to the person retreating into a cocoon, and the partnership’s effectiveness may be detrimentally impacted. In such a scenario, it will be hard to achieve the aims of the coaching. So, if you’re thinking of using “Why?”, think again. Ask yourself how else you might help the person unlock insight and drive success instead.
Internationally certified careers consultant | senior career counselor | enabling students, graduates, and experienced professionals with knowledge, skills, and tools to achieve successful career outcomes.
4 年Nice article - Ali Khaled Al Hashmi! By rephrasing the question “Why did you not consider communicating with the person differently?”, we might ask (depending on the probing direction): 1. What other ways might you consider communicating differently? 2. In which ways might communicating differently have been more effective? 3. How might the person have responded differently to other ways of communicating?
Director Ejecutivo Global, Consultor de Soluciones Empresariales, Mentor & Coach Executive, Conferencist en McRiver Red
4 年---Esta si es una pregunta poderosa,? ? DE QUE MANERA YO PUEDO AYUDAR A ESA PERSONA SIN UTILIZAR EL POR QUé ?....... Mi única manera de poder ayudarlo, va a ser empezando notablemente con preguntas poderosas de la Religión y la Espiritualidad, para que su AUTOESTIMA PERSONAL? se eleve y se desenvuelva con sus creencias, virtudes y valores; de esa manera su INTELIGENCIA EMOCIONAL se encontrará preparada recién, hablo según Yo a título personal,? para recibir la posterior pregunta poderosa del? ? POR QUé ?? ....... ---- Un planteamiento inteligente CON éSTA INTERROGANTE PODEROSA PARA PENSAR, muy buena. Hecha por el SE?OR? Ali Khaled Al Hashmi ,.....? Por algo fue premiado varias veces tanto en el extranjero, como en su país.....
Senior Health Safety Environment
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Training and Competency Management Specialist : Project Manager at IHRDC
5 年Very true...definitely agree... 'Why'is a negative way of approach on the entry point employee. A coach while guiding and imparting the underpinning knowledge shall be a sure success in his endeavors with a positive and friendly approach.? This shall result in getting the best of the entry point employee as well help him to achieve and become a sincere as well knowledgeable 'hands-on' professional ahead.